You're Not James Dean

short+sassy · April 2017

My girlfriend is over 18 but under 21. I don’t drink, so that’s not a problem; however, I do smoke cigarillos and ride a motorcycle. She wants to ride, but I don’t feel ready for a passenger. I have given her cigarillos, and she said she’s excited to be a smoker now. She also said that if I won’t let her ride my motorcycle, she’ll have to get her own. I’m feeling a bit guilty about what I’ve introduced her to. Our mothers are friends, and I’ve learned that her mother is quite upset about her smoking, and terrified at the prospect of her daughter riding a motorcycle. (My mother is not happy about me doing those things, either.) Should I stop smoking and riding and hope that my girlfriend loses interest also? I like being a “badass,” but I don’t want to lead someone else astray.

banana468 · April 2017

Girlfriend doesn't know what she wants. She just likes that she found an outlet for rebelling.

lovesclimbing · April 2017

If you don't feel ready for a passenger, for goodness sake, don't take one!! There's a recipe for a bad accident if I've ever seen one. Tell her, "Motorcycle accidents are pretty common and extremely deadly due to the lack of anything surrounding the riders protecting them. I don't feel safe taking a passenger, and I don't want to do anything that would increase the risk of riding." If she can't respect that, well, she has issues. If she wants to buy a motorcycle and ride it, fine. Not your problem. As for the cigarillos, yea, you should stop because smoking is bad for your health, and no, I don't think you should provide other people with them and encourage them to smoke. If she keeps doing it, again, not your problem. She's an adult.

I think it's quite funny that he thinks smoking and riding a motorcycle automatically make him a "badass."

short+sassy · April 2017

lovesclimbing said:

If you don't feel ready for a passenger, for goodness sake, don't take one!! There's a recipe for a bad accident if I've ever seen one. Tell her, "Motorcycle accidents are pretty common and extremely deadly due to the lack of anything surrounding the riders protecting them. I don't feel safe taking a passenger, and I don't want to do anything that would increase the risk of riding." If she can't respect that, well, she has issues. If she wants to buy a motorcycle and ride it, fine. Not your problem. As for the cigarillos, yea, you should stop because smoking is bad for your health, and no, I don't think you should provide other people with them and encourage them to smoke. If she keeps doing it, again, not your problem. She's an adult.

I think it's quite funny that he thinks smoking and riding a motorcycle automatically make him a "badass."

That was my reaction!

Obviously he realizes that he is having a big influence on his g/f. But if he doesn't want her smoking or riding motorcycles...perhaps that is good advice for himself.

And, yes!, he definitely should keep refusing to allow her to ride on the back of his bike if the thought makes him nervous.

I remember riding on the back of a friend's bike wearing shorts, a tee-shirt, and flip flops (shudder). Boy, was I young and dumb! I did wear a helmet, but it just never occurred to me how unprotected all the rest of me was.

You're Not James Dean

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