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Declined to STD - Do I send an Invitation?

Australian_girl_in_ParisAustralian_girl_in_Paris member
First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
So we sent out our STD with a link to our website - you can RSVP online and some people have (yah!!) But I've also received Info from 2 of my Anties to say that they can't make it. We're marrying in France where we live and my family lives in Australia. So I completely understand that no everyone will be able to accommodate the cost. 
My question is do I still send them and Invitation? Sending them to Australia is expensive so.... Is that really terrible rude? Or is it strange to receive an invitation to a wedding you've declined already too?
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Re: Declined to STD - Do I send an Invitation?

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    ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    If you sent a STD you should still send an invitation. Peoples' plans and circumstances change so some might be able to attend when they originally thought they couldn't.
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    SP29SP29 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Yes, send the invitation.

    A STD is just a "notice" of event coming up- it does not request a response. The invitation requests a response. And you never know if they will change their minds, and it can still be nice for them to receive the invitation and know you are still thinking about them.

    An invitation is not a summons, so it shouldn't look gift grabby or anything for you to send your Aunts invitations after they've said no. We lived out of province for some years and have since moved back "home". Our friends from OOT still invite us to events even though many things we cannot attend. It is still nice to know that they are thinking of us and we are included. We will send gifts for the big events (wedding/baby showers, etc), and we like to know these events are happening so we can do so (not because they expect gifts but because we WANT to give a gift).
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    ernursejernursej member
    First Answer First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its
    Yes, still send. Anyone who receives a STD gets an invite.
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    STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
    First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I'd turn the RSVP function off. It's just confusing. You still need to invite everyone. 
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    kwiksilverkwiksilver member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    We have the same situation (not through our website but through email, and word of mouth) and we are still sending invites to all of those people because it's proper etiquette. 
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    CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited April 2017
    Once you send an STD, you MUST also send a formal invitation.  Distance and circumstances make no difference.  To not send an invitation to everyone whom you sent an STD is very, very rude.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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    Australian_girl_in_ParisAustralian_girl_in_Paris member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its
    I think maybe I wasn't clear about the STD. 
    We sent an original email in November - with it being international and all we wanted anyone in Australia to have the notice to be able to get cheaper tickets if they wanted to come. we are also having a small celebration after in Australia to celebrate with some family that are too old to travel. No a second wedding just a low key lunch.

    Unfortunately, we discovered when a close friend was in Australia over Christmas that many or my friends and family there had thought we were having a full second wedding in Australia and saw no reason to com to Paris or to even think about it. I freaked out and wanted to set everyone straight. So we sent out emails with 'your invited' and a link to the website. 

    So it's slightly more that a STD. I think that I will just send them one anyway - it's nice and we had them specially designed so why not use them once we've got them.

    I'm not going to turn off the website RSVP - many people have RSVP'd in both languages already and it's the easiest way for most. I receive a few more every few days so I think its easiest - it also has more room for me to ask about food requirements without having to put an extra card into the invitation We do have cards also just in case.

    Thanks for clearing that up though.
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    missJeanLouisemissJeanLouise member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited April 2017
    Australian_girl_in_Paris said:
    I think maybe I wasn't clear about the STD. 
    We sent an original email in November - with it being international and all we wanted anyone in Australia to have the notice to be able to get cheaper tickets if they wanted to come. we are also having a small celebration after in Australia to celebrate with some family that are too old to travel. No a second wedding just a low key lunch.

    Unfortunately, we discovered when a close friend was in Australia over Christmas that many or my friends and family there had thought we were having a full second wedding in Australia and saw no reason to com to Paris or to even think about it. I freaked out and wanted to set everyone straight. So we sent out emails with 'your invited' and a link to the website. 

    So it's slightly more that a STD. I think that I will just send them one anyway - it's nice and we had them specially designed so why not use them once we've got them.

    I'm not going to turn off the website RSVP - many people have RSVP'd in both languages already and it's the easiest way for most. I receive a few more every few days so I think its easiest - it also has more room for me to ask about food requirements without having to put an extra card into the invitation We do have cards also just in case.

    Thanks for clearing that up though.
    Cool. You still have to send anyone who received a StD an invite. The you're invited email counts as a StD so you have to send an invitation to anyone you sent an email to. If you want to send them another STD in the mail fine but then i don't understand why you are wanting to not send an actual invite since "Sending them to Australia is expensive so...."
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    AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    You need to send invitations to anyone you sent any kind of STD to, even if they have already said they don't think they can make it. You'd still want them there if they could make it, so you let them know they are welcome and invited by sending them an invitation. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
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    Australian_girl_in_ParisAustralian_girl_in_Paris member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its
    missJeanLouise said:
    Australian_girl_in_Paris said:
    I think maybe I wasn't clear about the STD. 
    We sent an original email in November - with it being international and all we wanted anyone in Australia to have the notice to be able to get cheaper tickets if they wanted to come. we are also having a small celebration after in Australia to celebrate with some family that are too old to travel. No a second wedding just a low key lunch.

    Unfortunately, we discovered when a close friend was in Australia over Christmas that many or my friends and family there had thought we were having a full second wedding in Australia and saw no reason to com to Paris or to even think about it. I freaked out and wanted to set everyone straight. So we sent out emails with 'your invited' and a link to the website. 

    So it's slightly more that a STD. I think that I will just send them one anyway - it's nice and we had them specially designed so why not use them once we've got them.

    I'm not going to turn off the website RSVP - many people have RSVP'd in both languages already and it's the easiest way for most. I receive a few more every few days so I think its easiest - it also has more room for me to ask about food requirements without having to put an extra card into the invitation We do have cards also just in case.

    Thanks for clearing that up though.
    Cool. You still have to send anyone who received a StD an invite. The you're invited email counts as a StD so you have to send an invitation to anyone you sent an email to. If you want to send them another STD in the mail fine but then i don't understand why you are wanting to not send an actual invite since "Sending them to Australia is expensive so...."
    We're not sending paper STD. 

    I'm sending just the invitation to both events in one go, and now even to those who declined
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    ahoyweddingahoywedding member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    I would send the invite again. While not international, our wedding required travel for most of my childhood friends. One of them told me she couldn't come after receiving the STD as she was pregnant (and would have been about 8 months at the time of the wedding!). We sent an invite anyway. She ended up losing the baby, and she and her husband did come to the wedding. I know that doesn't happen often, but things change in people's lives.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    Name Dropper First Comment
    yes, still send an invite.  We are sending rsvp/ invites to people who probably wont be able to come ( though fingers crossed they will!) due to distance ( out of state out of country)
    However, even if they cant come its a beautiful memento and maybe they may be able to change plans :) 
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