Maid of honor help!

Re: Maid of honor help!

• lnixon8 member

  

  May 2017

  
  

  linzlovzsouza said:

  
  

  
  
  

  MyNameIsNot said:

  
  
  

  
  
  

  Knottie6d232a938a89748b said:

  
  
  

  Help! So, my maid of honor has been my best friend since high school. Recently, she lost her job, and took it really hard. I've been doing my best be supportive and understanding. My wedding is a month away, and now I've been going through a lot on top of, well, wedding planning (my mom is mentally ill, and it's just another layer of stress). I love my MOH dearly, by she's totally dissappeared- she hasn't planned anything she said she would, stopped answering phones calls or texts- and this is a time I really need her. 
  
  I don't want to come off as a bridezilla, because I know she's got a lot on her plate, too; but if she can't handle the responsibility, can I nicely ask another one of the girls to step up and help these next few weeks? My future sister in law has pretty much taken over all her responsibilities, since she didn't plan the shower or Bachelorette party like she said she would, and I feel like she deserves to be recognized for that.

  
  
  

  
  
  MOH has no responsibilities. If you need help planning your wedding, ask your FI or hire someone. This is not your MOH's job. There is no reason to ask anyone to "step up" as it would be inappropriate to ask or expect anyone to help plan your wedding.    
  
  It is great that someone else offered to throw you a b-party after your MOH was no longer able to do so. Thank this person with a thank you note and possibly a small gift. Anyone can throw these parties, it is not the responsibility or duty of a MOH or any BM. MOH and BM are titles to honor your relationships with your closest friends, not recognition for unpaid labor. 
  
  Going through a job loss is a huge ordeal, and can be emotionally draining in addition to financially disruptive. It should be no surprise that she is withdrawn and depressed. As a good friend, you should be focused on supporting her through this awful time, not thinking about how her loss effects your wedding. Right now, she needs you, not the other way around. 

  
  
  

  
  
  I feel like it is the MOH responsibility to organise the b-party as well as the Bachelorette party: if not her, your best friend, who else would fit the shoes?
  I had a similar (eh, kinda) situation with my MOH. Money is tight, and I know that. But guess what? Ideas are free! there are 6 other girls in my wedding party that love to help, and I made that clear to her. I let her know my mom was there and also that her mom ( i call her mom number 2) was also there to help. Mom number 2 offered to use her yard as the b-shower and all the other BM have great tallents that they can offer.
  I'm sorry that happened to you, but its great you had people to come and help you as well.  I think its lousy that shes not even answering the texts, I mean, how awkward is it going to be on the wedding day? 

  
  

  
  Wow! How kind of you to reassure your best friend that her Mom can help plan parties in your honor!

  
  
  

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• charlotte989875 member

  

  May 2017

  
  

  linzlovzsouza said:

  
  

  
  
  

  MyNameIsNot said:

  
  
  

  
  
  

  Knottie6d232a938a89748b said:

  
  
  

  Help! So, my maid of honor has been my best friend since high school. Recently, she lost her job, and took it really hard. I've been doing my best be supportive and understanding. My wedding is a month away, and now I've been going through a lot on top of, well, wedding planning (my mom is mentally ill, and it's just another layer of stress). I love my MOH dearly, by she's totally dissappeared- she hasn't planned anything she said she would, stopped answering phones calls or texts- and this is a time I really need her. 
  
  I don't want to come off as a bridezilla, because I know she's got a lot on her plate, too; but if she can't handle the responsibility, can I nicely ask another one of the girls to step up and help these next few weeks? My future sister in law has pretty much taken over all her responsibilities, since she didn't plan the shower or Bachelorette party like she said she would, and I feel like she deserves to be recognized for that.

  
  
  

  
  
  MOH has no responsibilities. If you need help planning your wedding, ask your FI or hire someone. This is not your MOH's job. There is no reason to ask anyone to "step up" as it would be inappropriate to ask or expect anyone to help plan your wedding.    
  
  It is great that someone else offered to throw you a b-party after your MOH was no longer able to do so. Thank this person with a thank you note and possibly a small gift. Anyone can throw these parties, it is not the responsibility or duty of a MOH or any BM. MOH and BM are titles to honor your relationships with your closest friends, not recognition for unpaid labor. 
  
  Going through a job loss is a huge ordeal, and can be emotionally draining in addition to financially disruptive. It should be no surprise that she is withdrawn and depressed. As a good friend, you should be focused on supporting her through this awful time, not thinking about how her loss effects your wedding. Right now, she needs you, not the other way around. 

  
  
  

  
  
  I feel like it is the MOH responsibility to organise the b-party as well as the Bachelorette party: if not her, your best friend, who else would fit the shoes?
  I had a similar (eh, kinda) situation with my MOH. Money is tight, and I know that. But guess what? Ideas are free! there are 6 other girls in my wedding party that love to help, and I made that clear to her. I let her know my mom was there and also that her mom ( i call her mom number 2) was also there to help. Mom number 2 offered to use her yard as the b-shower and all the other BM have great tallents that they can offer.
  I'm sorry that happened to you, but its great you had people to come and help you as well.  I think its lousy that shes not even answering the texts, I mean, how awkward is it going to be on the wedding day? 

  
  

  
  Except she doesn't have to. If she wants to offer to organize and host parties, that's great! But if she doesn't want or can't afford it she absolutely does not have to.
  
  You should never have tried to cajole her into a party she can't afford, nor should you have volunteered your mother or her mother (!) to help throw a party for you.  

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