Dear Prudence,
This February, my boyfriend of eight years broke up with me when he found out I was pregnant. We’d been temporarily in a long-distance relationship when he had to move across the country for his job. I was overjoyed to learn I was pregnant and thought we could get married after I moved out to join him. My boyfriend, however, was livid—he was starting a new job, we only saw each other once a month, how could I have gotten pregnant? Was it even his? How could I be so selfish? I must have gotten pregnant on purpose to sabotage his career.
I begged him to visit me, and when he didn’t, I flew out to see him. We got into a huge fight at the airport, broke up, and then I flew home and got an abortion. I didn’t want to be a single mother and the only decent thing he did for me was to mail a check to help with the cost of the procedure. I haven’t heard a word from him since—until last Friday. He was in town and stopped by my office and asked if we could talk. We went out for coffee and he said he wants me back, says the abortion was a huge mistake, that he was horrible and unfair and he wants to get married and have a family with me.
I’m reeling. Part of me wants nothing to do with him, but another part of me wants to take him back. I still love him—he was my first everything and we’ve been together since college—but the way he treated me makes me want to back away. However, I also know he was stressed at his job, plus the fact that we were long-distance, and how he acted was really out of character. We were happy together for eight years, until the last six months. It’s stupid to take him back, right? I’m hurting and confused and I don’t know what to do.