deleted

lovesclimbing · May 2017

Yes, you should get them some sort of gift. It doesn't have to be given day of but generally fairly close to the wedding. The general rule is to get them something like you'd get for their birthday. It doesn't have to be big or high dollar, but it should be personalized to them. If you get them all, say, matching jewelry to wear at the wedding or robes to wear getting ready, that's not a gift. It's something you bought for you to make the pictures look how you want them.

I've received jewelry as a wedding party member twice. The first wedding, we all got bracelets that were different according to our style. One of the bridesmaids chose to wear hers at the wedding, but the rest did not and with at least two of them, they wouldn't even have "gone" with the dress. The second wedding, we all received matching necklaces that matched the dress to wear at the wedding. I wear the bracelet several times a month, close to once a week. The necklace hasn't been worn since I took it off after the wedding.

banana468 · May 2017

Think of your bridesmaids unique tastes and gift based on those.

But please first make sure your wedding is thecday you're legally married.

JediElizabeth · May 2017

We actually have a pretty easy friend group to shop for (mostly gamers, cosplayers and the like), so we gave most of our wedding party the same thing: ale horns with individualized runes inscribed in them. Some brought them to the wedding, but it wasn't asked of them. For those for whom it wasn't appropriate (not their style, or Hindu and therefore not cool with drinking from bull horns), we got Shovana shawls to their style, or for one girl who would have hated both, a collectable figure of her favorite Disney character. Don't drive yourself crazy with this, but definitely think about each person before purchasing.

southernbelle0915 · May 2017

Since they're "wifesmaids" and you will already be married, I would just give your friends corsages, don't make them buy a certain dress, and have them attend your party.

OurWildKingdom · May 2017

An apology letter for lying to them.

levioosa · May 2017

Reimbursement for traveling and spending money on a fake wedding.

levioosa · May 2017

linzlovzsouza said:

I am having trouble thinking about what to do for BridesMaids gifts on the wedding day. I did do "bridesmaid proposals" which I gave a Tshirt ( that said bridesmaid), a framed photo of me and the girl it was for and some candy.
I feel like you are supposed to give something the day of but I'm not sure what ?

JIC

OurWildKingdom · May 2017

FTR, OP, your "bridesmaid proposal" gifts are all about you, not them. Very obnoxious.

[Deleted User] · May 2017

LondonLisa · May 2017

linzlovzsouza said:

southernbelle0915 said:

Since they're "wifesmaids" and you will already be married, I would just give your friends corsages, don't make them buy a certain dress, and have them attend your party.

OurWildKingdom said:

FTR, OP, your "bridesmaid proposal" gifts are all about you, not them. Very obnoxious.

levioosa said:

Reimbursement for traveling and spending money on a fake wedding.

I am going to get tolled on every board because I was THINKING of signing papers before my wedding?

Image: http://i1.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/facebook/000/010/692/19789999.jpg

'Why am I receiving backlash because I want to get married before my wedding for no real reason other than to save money and then have a play pretend ceremony? I don't care that people are spending thousands to come see me get 'married' even though I will already be married. I don't understand why people care that I am being so flippant about a right that people have been continually denied and had to fight for just because I want to play dress up like a 6 year old and demand gifts from people even though I don't have the common decency to wait to ACTUALLY get married in front of them.'

climbingsingle · May 2017

linzlovzsouza said:

southernbelle0915 said:

Since they're "wifesmaids" and you will already be married, I would just give your friends corsages, don't make them buy a certain dress, and have them attend your party.

OurWildKingdom said:

FTR, OP, your "bridesmaid proposal" gifts are all about you, not them. Very obnoxious.

levioosa said:

Reimbursement for traveling and spending money on a fake wedding.

I am going to get tolled on every board because I was THINKING of signing papers before my wedding?

Can you please actually go look up what it means to "troll" or be "trolled". Because you clearly have no understanding as to what it actually is. No one is trolling you.

MissKittyDanger · May 2017

linzlovzsouza said:

southernbelle0915 said:

Since they're "wifesmaids" and you will already be married, I would just give your friends corsages, don't make them buy a certain dress, and have them attend your party.

OurWildKingdom said:

FTR, OP, your "bridesmaid proposal" gifts are all about you, not them. Very obnoxious.

levioosa said:

Reimbursement for traveling and spending money on a fake wedding.

I am going to get tolled on every board because I was THINKING of signing papers before my wedding?

That's not the word you're wanting.

And yes, because it's a fake wedding. I wouldn't be happy if I found out my friend invited me to her wedding then said "fyi I already signed papers so we're legally married"

Waste of time.

[Deleted User] · May 2017

Trolled is make a deliberately offensive or provocative online post with the aim of upsetting someone or eliciting an angry response from them.
I never said I WANTED or that I WAS going to sign papers prior to June. I said It was a thought and that my friend was going to do it... and I would never hate anyone for it.
Harassing me on every board saying I'm having a fake wedding on every post and spreading false advertising isn't trolling?

ILoveBeachMusic · May 2017

knottieb1c39f361c50e67c said:

Trolled is make a deliberately offensive or provocative online post with the aim of upsetting someone or eliciting an angry response from them.
I never said I WANTED or that I WAS going to sign papers prior to June. I said It was a thought and that my friend was going to do it... and I would never hate anyone for it.
Harassing me on every board saying I'm having a fake wedding on every post and spreading false advertising isn't trolling?

You said you were considering it and no it isn't trolling especially if you decide to do it. You would be having a fake wedding and lying to your guests.

[Deleted User] · May 2017

ILoveBeachMusic said:

knottieb1c39f361c50e67c said:

Trolled is make a deliberately offensive or provocative online post with the aim of upsetting someone or eliciting an angry response from them.
I never said I WANTED or that I WAS going to sign papers prior to June. I said It was a thought and that my friend was going to do it... and I would never hate anyone for it.
Harassing me on every board saying I'm having a fake wedding on every post and spreading false advertising isn't trolling?

You said you were considering it and no it isn't trolling especially if you decide to do it. You would be having a fake wedding and lying to your guests.

so you can harass me on something I haven't even done? or haven't committed to doing? People are literally going on all my posts to comment and harass me about this.... about some thing that I haven't said I was even going to do.

artbyallie · May 2017

knottieb1c39f361c50e67c said:

ILoveBeachMusic said:

knottieb1c39f361c50e67c said:

Trolled is make a deliberately offensive or provocative online post with the aim of upsetting someone or eliciting an angry response from them.
I never said I WANTED or that I WAS going to sign papers prior to June. I said It was a thought and that my friend was going to do it... and I would never hate anyone for it.
Harassing me on every board saying I'm having a fake wedding on every post and spreading false advertising isn't trolling?

You said you were considering it and no it isn't trolling especially if you decide to do it. You would be having a fake wedding and lying to your guests.

so you can harass me on something I haven't even done? or haven't committed to doing? People are literally going on all my posts to comment and harass me about this.... about some thing that I haven't said I was even going to do.

I seriously doubt anyone is deliberately following you around. The fact is, this is a forum and we pretty much all read/post on multiple boards. And we remember who people are and what they have said.

OurWildKingdom · May 2017

Ok, I'll admit I was mean to you. That said, please don't do what you've been considering. You can plan a wedding -- even a big wedding -- in a year or less, without being dishonest with anyone.

southernbelle0915 · May 2017

knottieb1c39f361c50e67c said:

ILoveBeachMusic said:

knottieb1c39f361c50e67c said:

Trolled is make a deliberately offensive or provocative online post with the aim of upsetting someone or eliciting an angry response from them.
I never said I WANTED or that I WAS going to sign papers prior to June. I said It was a thought and that my friend was going to do it... and I would never hate anyone for it.
Harassing me on every board saying I'm having a fake wedding on every post and spreading false advertising isn't trolling?

You said you were considering it and no it isn't trolling especially if you decide to do it. You would be having a fake wedding and lying to your guests.

so you can harass me on something I haven't even done? or haven't committed to doing? People are literally going on all my posts to comment and harass me about this.... about some thing that I haven't said I was even going to do.

90% of posters to these forums post on most of the boards. So if you post in Etiquette, Getting in Shape, Chit Chat, Wedding Party, etc...the same people are going to see your posts. And it's easy to tell who's who. So people remember who you are and what you've said. It's not trolling. Posters are on those boards to answer others' questions and you just happen to be there also posting.

geebee908 · May 2017

It helps to bring it up on posts like these for people who think they are giving advice to someone who is planning their actual wedding and not a PPD. The advice would change because the circumstance of the actual wedding has changed.

I'm glad you're considering not going that route, especially since your guests are coming from such a distance. If you have to have the June wedding, then I'd consider the insurance expense or tax penalty part of your wedding expenses.

CMGragain · May 2017

"Deleting" your post was a mistake. Now people will come to see what the fuss is about, and it is obvious.
The responses you have received here are only a small sample of the reaction you will get if you decide to get legally married and then have a PPD. Please don't do this! Your friends and relatives will be angry and hurt.

[Deleted User] · May 2017

levioosa said:

linzlovzsouza said:

I am having trouble thinking about what to do for BridesMaids gifts on the wedding day. I did do "bridesmaid proposals" which I gave a Tshirt ( that said bridesmaid), a framed photo of me and the girl it was for and some candy.
I feel like you are supposed to give something the day of but I'm not sure what ?

JIC

Here for the bat signal!

Get your friends something they'd each like individually. Wine glass charms and a bottle of wine for your wine-lover friend. A Starbucks giftcard and a bag of fresh roasted coffee beans for your coffee-lover friend. A hardcover classic novel for the reader. You're giving them a gift of appreciation because you're happy they took time out of their day to stand up next to you at your wedding. Pick something that is for them, not a prop for your wedding.

TrixieJess · May 2017

I came for the bat signal and stayed for the entertainment. Thanks for quoting.

OP, you are not being harassed or trolled, but if you're expecting people to spend money for a fake wedding, you need to actually give them something so that the sting of you lying to them will hurt a little less.

MesmrEwe · May 2017

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