Dear Prudence,
I made a long-distance friend a year ago who is very unstable. He seemed normal at first, but as the time went on, he grew more abusive, and later admitted he suffers from untreated anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, and borderline personality disorder. I myself have anxiety, so I try not to judge, and originally I just figured his abuse wasn’t too much of a problem because he lives far away and we don’t talk that often. However, he has started sending me long texts telling me why I’m a terrible person, even though I’m his only remaining friend. He also harasses his family members and was recently uninvited to his sister’s wedding. I’ve tried to explain to him how his behavior hurts me, but he dismisses me as being “dramatic.” Negotiating is not an option. I know cutting this guy out of my life is a no-brainer, but he’s threatening to blackmail me online. The good news is he doesn’t have any evidence of wrongdoing on my part, but I have told him some of my more embarrassing personal stories and I fear that he will attempt to slander me in public. He doesn’t know where I live and I have him blocked on Facebook, but he has managed to track down some of my real friends and I fear he will harass them too. He also threatened to make fake dating profiles of me and give my number to strangers and sure enough, today I got a message from an OKCupid member. Did I mention I don’t have an account? Prudie, please help! I know this is a toxic friendship, but the fear of public humiliation is a big one for me. Do I stay friends with this monster and keep the peace? Or should I rock the boat in an attempt to finally free myself from him?
—Keep Friend Close?