Dear Prudence,
My roommate is a fabulous person with one pretty obnoxious flaw: She gives the worst apologies. Like all of us, she occasionally does stupid or thoughtless things, but the problem is that whenever she apologies she feels the need to offer a dozen excuses for what she did. It feels compulsive—half the time these excuses simply aren’t true. She doesn’t lie under other circumstances, only while apologizing; usually for grievances so minor that I’ve already forgiven them. I’m not especially upset about these occasional slipups, but these lies leave me angrier than I was before!
My current solution to the problem is to tell her that I forgive her and that whatever happened wasn’t a big deal, but then also point out that the excuse(s) she’s given aren’t true. This strategy leaves her feeling awful and it doesn’t shake off my annoyance at being lied to needlessly for someone I love. Is there a better way to handle this situation?