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MrsMik2017 · May 2017

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CMGragain · May 2017

MrsMik2017 said:

I have a talented bestie since childhood who's in marketing but trying to get a graphic design side-hustle going. Not doing bridesmaids, but she'd definitely be one. I've approached her about doing paper materials for our wedding and sending me the digital files to print elsewhere. When the topic of payment came up she said, "Just tell me what you are willing to pay me & that'll be fine."

Asked for:
1. Invitations suite (Invite, Reply, Details card)
2. Activity card (mad libs or some table game) on one side & Thank you/we've made a donation in lieu of favors note on the other side
3. Ceremony program
4. A couple of other signs (hashtag, a quote)

She's also amazing at hand-lettering so I've asked her to come down one weekend from Dallas to Austin (probably some same weekend I have a bridal shower) & we'll make the physical signs. I am willing to pay her a flat rate for everything & cover travel and expenses on the crafting weekend. What is the rate you would pay her based on the info I've given (design experience, friendship, scope of work)?

This does not answer your question, but please don't do the bolded! It is not at all polite. If you make a charitable donation, you do it privately. To select a charity and then tell unsuspecting guests that you have done it in their honor is a terrible idea. What if the charity you choose is not acceptable to a guest? Also, it is as if you are saying, we were going to give you a favor, but decided to spend it here instead. Rude.
I HATE Mad libs!!!!
Favors are not necessary at all.

MrsMik2017 · May 2017

Umm... thanks for your opinion, but please focus on the question at hand?

CMGragain · May 2017

MrsMik2017 said:

Umm... thanks for your opinion, but please focus on the question at hand?

You posted. I can't help but answer what screams to me as a etiquette faux pas. It is rude to tell people what and how to post.

MrsMik2017 · May 2017

Ummm... this post was for info on custom-designed invitations, not asking your opinion on what I'm doing for my wedding favors or activities? I really don't want to be rude, but you are the one who hijacked my post to give me your unsolicited opinion about something other than what I'm asking?

CMGragain · May 2017

I will defer to the other ladies to clue you in.

redoryx · May 2017

1) Nobody cares about your donation.

2) Ask your friend what her rate is. If you are buying her services, you don't get to make an offer. She gets to tell you what the price is.

short+sassy · May 2017

I'd do a Google search and/or call a few local places to get an idea on normal pricing for those services. Then offer my friend something in that price range, plus fair travel expenses. She may/may not protest and insist on less. But that is her prerogative to offer less than the going rate. You shouldn't assume that (I'm not saying you are).

I'd also potentially ixnay the Activity/Favors Card. I suppose an activity, if it was related to you all as a couple, might be kind of cute. Like a little, basic crossword about you all. Something like that. But it really isn't necessary and a lot of guests would probably just throw it out.

Like other PPs have mentioned, you don't have to have any favors at all. That's fine. If you want to use the money you would have designated for favors to your favorite charity, that's fine also. But it's really weird to announce that to guests.

It's essentially saying, "We were going to give you Jordan Almonds/customized M&Ms/koozie with our names/etc. But decided to donate money to ABC Charity instead." As a guest I would be thinking, "Soooo, you all donated to your favorite charity. Ummm, okay. And now I'm not getting customized M&Ms." I mean, of course I'm joking about the M&Ms specifically, but the premise is the same. "We were going to get everyone a token gift and now we aren't."

flantastic · May 2017

short+sassy said:

I'd do a Google search and/or call a few local places to get an idea on normal pricing for those services. Then offer my friend something in that price range, plus fair travel expenses. She may/may not protest and insist on less. But that is her prerogative to offer less than the going rate. You shouldn't assume that (I'm not saying you are).
I'd also potentially ixnay the Activity/Favors Card. I suppose an activity, if it was related to you all as a couple, might be kind of cute. Like a little, basic crossword about you all. Something like that. But it really isn't necessary and a lot of guests would probably just throw it out.
Like other PPs have mentioned, you don't have to have any favors at all. That's fine. If you want to use the money you would have designated for favors to your favorite charity, that's fine also. But it's really weird to announce that to guests.
It's essentially saying, "We were going to give you Jordan Almonds/customized M&Ms/koozie with our names/etc. But decided to donate money to ABC Charity instead." As a guest I would be thinking, "Soooo, you all donated to your favorite charity. Ummm, okay. And now I'm not getting customized M&Ms." I mean, of course I'm joking about the M&Ms specifically, but the premise is the same. "We were going to get everyone a token gift and now we aren't."

Yep. It's just attention-seeking; "Look how generous we are! But also, because we're generous to causes, we chose not to give you anything." It also doesn't make you look generous, because rather than donating money that you could have spent on yourselves (forgoing the new TV, buying a cheaper wedding dress, whatever) you took something away from the guest experience instead.

LadyCatherineDB · May 2017

When you post the same thing on multiple boards, it's helpful to include "XP" or "Crosspost" in the title.

DrillSergeantCat · May 2017

Mad Libs aren't really appropriate at a wedding. They'd be fun for a bridal shower though. And please don't tell your guests you donated to a charity instead of favors. If I were at your wedding, I'd roll my eyes so hard at seeing that that I'd likely pull an eye muscle.

Jen4948 · May 2017

As a guest I would side-eye any kind of notice that you donated to charity in lieu of giving favors. Favors aren't required to be given, so why would any guest appreciate hearing that you're doing something else with the money? It comes off like you're trying to pat yourself on the back about your "generosity."

And while there are times when I would enjoy playing Mad Libs, a wedding is not one of them.

MyNameIsNot · May 2017

I would call around to a couple of vendors that provide similar services, and get some price lists. Then I would send the friend a proposed "quote" within that range. I would also pull together a contract that outlines exactly what she's doing, on what timeline, when you'll have proofs to approve, etc. Mixing friendship and business can be dicey, so you want to work out all the particulars. The last thing you want is to be 6 weeks before the wedding and still waiting on invitations, or 4 weeks before and hoping she'll make a correction you've asked for three times.

Also, get rid of the back of the activity card. Bragging about donating to charity is just gross.

Heffalump · May 2017

Wow, OP.

Okay, the easy one: ask her what she charges her paying customers, and pay her at least that much. I had a similar situation (although she was one of my bridesmaids, as well; her business was freelance graphic design), and she offered to do certain items (STDs, programs). I paid her the going rate, which was the only fair thing, considering it was just as much work as the projects she did for her "real" clients.

But second, you cannot do "in lieu of favors, we spent that money on a donation." If that's truly what you want to do, then don't do favors at all (they are not mandatory), and privately spend that money on a donation to the organization of your choice.

I assumed that the mad libs/activity sheet was for children--like the children's menu/placemat at a lot of casual family restaurants. Is it for adults? If so, you should probably rethink that strategy.

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