Etiquette

Invite your boss?

I'm not sure what etiquette officially dictates, but even if the answer is "you can choose to invite whoever you want", i'm curious to know if you felt it was good practice to invite your boss/bosses to your wedding. I have 3 people (plus spouses) who would qualify as one of my bosses, and have considered inviting them. The wedding is not local, so I doubt they would attend, but i'm currently debating it. any opinions here? it's not really a budget issue, as 6 people aren't going to make or break that, but it's more, is it even necessary to extend the invite out of obligation?

Re: Invite your boss?

  • Nope. Not at all. 
  • CMGragainCMGragain
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    edited May 22


    megtownxx said:


    I'm not sure what etiquette officially dictates, but even if the answer is "you can choose to invite whoever you want", i'm curious to know if you felt it was good practice to invite your boss/bosses to your wedding. I have 3 people (plus spouses) who would qualify as one of my bosses, and have considered inviting them. The wedding is not local, so I doubt they would attend, but i'm currently debating it. any opinions here? it's not really a budget issue, as 6 people aren't going to make or break that, but it's more, is it even necessary to extend the invite out of obligation?




    There is no obligation to invite your employer or supervisor.  There is no obligation to invite ANYONE.

    It is rather tacky to invite an employer to your wedding in the expectation that you will improve your standing with them at work.  If you feel that you have a personal relationship with someone, then do invite them.  Otherwise, please don't.
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  • SP29SP29
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    My opinion is to only invite people you have a personal relationship with. So while I would invite my friends who I work with, I wouldn't invite my co-workers. Same with my boss- unless we had a relationship outside of work, or I considered my boss to be a personal mentor (discussing more than just the daily work stuff), I wouldn't invite them.
    short+sassythisismynickname2

  • SP29 said:

    My opinion is to only invite people you have a personal relationship with. So while I would invite my friends who I work with, I wouldn't invite my co-workers. Same with my boss- unless we had a relationship outside of work, or I considered my boss to be a personal mentor (discussing more than just the daily work stuff), I wouldn't invite them.



    Great advice!  To add on to it, there are previous bosses I would have invited to my wedding and some I would not have.  For exactly @SP29's reason.

    When I did get married, I got married a plane flight away from where I live.  Definitely didn't invite my boss but, even if I'd had a local wedding, I wouldn't have invited him either.  He's a great boss and we have a friendly relationship, but we are not friends.  The only time we've spent time socially is at work-related events or parties thrown by other coworkers.

    If I'd had my wedding locally, there are a few coworkers I would have invited because they are also friends.

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    SP29
  • I invited my "boss" at the time, who was my grad school advisor and mentor. We have a close relationship even now after I've graduated. But I didn't invite my entire committee or other supervisors. Just him and a few other work people we were both close with and had relationships/friendships outside of work. 
  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe
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    I had to invite my boss - he is/was my FIL LOL...  

    I'm going to defer and say that it really depends on what the etiquette is for your particular company.  The textbook would say "invite in groups" or the like, in the functional world, this really can affect things if your company etiquette is that they're invited, I'd follow the social etiquette for your workplace.
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  • Politics and work dynamic may provide a different perspective, but etiquette doesn't require you to invite your boss or your coworkers.

    If you decide not to invite them, don't talk about your wedding at work or share many details when asked. If people say things like "I can't wait for your wedding!" (rude on their part) you can simply ignore the comment or address it directly with something like "I'm excited too. We are keeping it small and unfortunately unable to invite everyone we'd like."
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    short+sassySP29
  • There's no one rule about inviting bosses. I say if you genuinely like and have a good relationship with them and want them at the wedding for that reason, then go ahead. If your relationship is strictly business, or you don't feel comfortable around them, there's no need to invite them. 

    I'd say @southernbelle0915's advice about discussing the wedding goes for anyone you work with, boss or not. Discussing an event makes people feel involved in it, and more likely to be offended if they're ultimately not invited.
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  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs
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    There was no way I wanted my bosses at my wedding. So, I did not invite them. 

  • megtownxxmegtownxx
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    All very helpful, thanks everyone for your advice.  I definitely feel like my relationship with my bosses are all strictly business and now don't see a reason to invite them. My other coworker is getting married a month after me and is inviting several of my coworkers (I'm not sure how many or who), so this started to make me question if i was making a blunder.
  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK
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    Are these people you would normally hang out with outside of work? If yes, invite them. If no, don't as it could be seen as a gift grab by them
  • MandyMostMandyMost
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    I didn't invite my boss or any coworkers. There was one girl who got married about a year before me, and one who got married about a year after me, and they both invited a few coworkers (they had become more than just "work friends"). 

    However, our office threw all 3 of us bridal showers (cake in the office, and everyone who wanted to chipped in for a gift/giftcard) to say congratulations. That's pretty normal at all the jobs I've had. It didn't mean anyone expected to be invited! The office does the same thing with baby showers. 
    short+sassySP29
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston
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     When I got married, I didn't know my boss well enough to invite him.  But I did invite my boss from 8 years before. 



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    short+sassy
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