Needing advice on my father (FOB)

hollyv1632 · May 2017

Ok, so my father and I are on again off again in closeness. Whenever he wants to be basically. He's very temperamental and just an angry person. Easily offended. He and his gf have been on again off again and engaged and broken up yada yada. My church only has 6 seats to a row. So I want to seat the gf in the second row so that my parents, step dad, and grandmas can sit in front row. I don't feel that the gf should replace one of my grandma's places. Any advice?

STARMOON44 · May 2017

Yes, don't. Your father sits with his date, his girlfriend.

Do you have more than 2 grandmas? Because mom, stepdad, dad, girlfriend, gramma, grandma, is only 6 people.

You could seat your father and his girlfriend together in the second row, or put all the grandmas in the second row, but not just his girlfriend.

banana468 · May 2017

hollyv1632 said:

Ok, so my father and I are on again off again in closeness. Whenever he wants to be basically. He's very temperamental and just an angry person. Easily offended. He and his gf have been on again off again and engaged and broken up yada yada. My church only has 6 seats to a row. So I want to seat the gf in the second row so that my parents, step dad, and grandmas can sit in front row. I don't feel that the gf should replace one of my grandma's places. Any advice?

Seat him with the GF in the second row.

Really, the first row is often bridesmaids, the second is parents and the third is grandparents.

Your father should absolutely not be split from his SO.

levioosa · May 2017

Agree with PPs. Also...your post has a lot of animosity, and while I'm sure it's not undeserved, seating your father away from his gf would not only be rude, but it will result in justified offense. He doesn't sound like father of the year, but that doesn't mean you should stoop to his level. Plus, having drama about seating arrangements on the day of the wedding is just not one of those hills to die on.

charlotte989875 · May 2017

I hear you on the complicated relationship with your father. But it's still rude what your proposing to do. She's his date, like it or not, and they have to be seated together. That can be First or second row, but they do need to be together.

southernbelle0915 · May 2017

When assigning seats, all guests should be seated with their SOs - both at the ceremony and at the reception.

If that means seating your father in the second row, then seat him in the second row. It sounds like y'all aren't that close anyway.

climbingsingle · May 2017

Put your dad in the 2nd row with his GF.

aurianna · May 2017

I sat my father and wife in the second row with his mom.
My mom, step-dad and my mom's parents sat in the front row.

Seating dad in second row isn't a slight. And even if it were, it's way less of a slight than separating him from his girlfriend.

hollyv1632 · May 2017

Yes I have 3 grandmas.

hollyv1632 · May 2017

I agree with what you are all saying. I Just feel like I'm stuck in a bad spot. She is most definitely not more important to me than my grandmothers so that is why I won t ask one of them to sit in second row. But I know that if I put her and my father in the second row, he's going to throw a fit because he wants to be in the first row.

hollyv1632 · May 2017

It's not that I don't like the woman...i just front feel that she should take one of my grandmothers seats.

LondonLisa · May 2017

hollyv1632 said:

I agree with what you are all saying. I Just feel like I'm stuck in a bad spot. She is most definitely not more important to me than my grandmothers so that is why I won t ask one of them to sit in second row. But I know that if I put her and my father in the second row, he's going to throw a fit because he wants to be in the first row.

hollyv1632 said:

It's not that I don't like the woman...i just front feel that she should take one of my grandmothers seats.

They are a social unit, so should not be separated.

I think the main thing you need to do is stop thinking of these seats as 'rankings' of who is most important to you. The front 2-3 rows are family rows, and you need to start thinking of it as that. Honestly, I would stop trying to assign seats and just direct your family to the family rows.

There are logistical issues in the fact that there can only be 1 person sitting with aisle access. Have your mum in the first row aisle and your dad in the second row aisle next to their respective partners. Most children of divorce I know use this solution. And you spin it that you wanted both of your parents to have direct aisle access and views.

Let your grandmothers sit wherever the chose in the family rows.

If he is offended then let him be. He is being a child.

southernbelle0915 · May 2017

hollyv1632 said:

I agree with what you are all saying. I Just feel like I'm stuck in a bad spot. She is most definitely not more important to me than my grandmothers so that is why I won t ask one of them to sit in second row. But I know that if I put her and my father in the second row, he's going to throw a fit because he wants to be in the first row.

Then give him the option. Tell him he can sit in the first row and be separated from his SO or he can sit with her in the second row.

Or add a folding chair to the end of the pew and be done with all this drama.

MobKaz · May 2017

hollyv1632 said:

Ok, so my father and I are on again off again in closeness. Whenever he wants to be basically. He's very temperamental and just an angry person. Easily offended. He and his gf have been on again off again and engaged and broken up yada yada. My church only has 6 seats to a row. So I want to seat the gf in the second row so that my parents, step dad, and grandmas can sit in front row. I don't feel that the gf should replace one of my grandma's places. Any advice?

Option 1: Are one of your grandmothers your paternal grandmother? Sit maternal family in the first row, and paternal family in the second row.

Your parents are no longer a social unit. If your mother and her spouse can sit together, the same rationale must be applied to your father and his partner. Option 2: Sit parents and partners in the first row and grandparents in the second row.

Option 3: Sit your mother, spouse, and grandmothers in the first row. Sit your father and his partner in the second row.

Option 4: Separating your father and his partner is not an option.

climbingsingle · May 2017

It sounds like you and your dad have had a strained relationship in the past (I've been there) and that he get pissed off about stupid shit (I've been there too). Excuse my language, but fuck him. Put him in the second row. If he's pissed, oh well. That's his problem.

Jen4948 · May 2017

Seat your father and his GF in the second row. It's their problem if they don't like that.

Needing advice on my father (FOB)

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