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Knottie2a7cb2971254929c · May 2017

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charlotte989875 · May 2017

SeptemberBride said:

Due to some extenuating circumstances, we're having a very small (immediate family only) church ceremony a few days before our reception at our venue. We still have a short ceremony planned for the day of our reception so that all guests feel included.

I want each day to be special in its own way, and I want my fiance to be wowed both days, but I'm worried that looking the same both days will take away some of the excitement. The fact that our actual wedding ceremony (when we officially are married in the eyes of God and the law) is a different day than our "party day" (where we will have our guests celebrate, our first dance, etc.) is really making it hard for me to figure out what to wear. I'm a frugal bride and am finding it hard to justify spending a lot on a dress (or two). Should I buy two inexpensive dresses, or wear the same one both days?

Any advice or suggestions are hugely appreciated!

If I could have worn my wedding dress a second time I would have so I'd vote for one dress that you absolutely love.

However I do want to point something out. A truly private ceremony (which sounds like you are having) is perfectly fine, and within etiquette, but you shouldn't then reenact it a few days later. Your guests don't need to be included in your ceremony, that's between you and your FI. Definitely have a celebration party and celebrate with your friends and family, but just have the party not a ceremony where you don't actually get married.

MobKaz · May 2017

SeptemberBride said:

Due to some extenuating circumstances, we're having a very small (immediate family only) church ceremony a few days before our reception at our venue. We still have a short ceremony planned for the day of our reception so that all guests feel included.

I want each day to be special in its own way, and I want my fiance to be wowed both days, but I'm worried that looking the same both days will take away some of the excitement. The fact that our actual wedding ceremony (when we officially are married in the eyes of God and the law) is a different day than our "party day" (where we will have our guests celebrate, our first dance, etc.) is really making it hard for me to figure out what to wear. I'm a frugal bride and am finding it hard to justify spending a lot on a dress (or two). Should I buy two inexpensive dresses, or wear the same one both days?

Any advice or suggestions are hugely appreciated!

Although I am not personally a fan of this "trend", you are within the standards of etiquette to have a small, intimate, family only wedding, followed by a separate celebration party with additional guests. However, you need to host something for those guests that attend your wedding.

A second ceremony is unnecessary and inappropriate. If you wanted all your guests included, you should have invited them to your ceremony. There is no circumstance that warrants two ceremonies.

STARMOON44 · May 2017

I think wearing the same dress to both would be very nice!

dont recreate a second ceremony though.

CMGragain · May 2017

I am sorry, but you only get one wedding day, and that will be the day of your ceremony. Your plans for that day sounds very nice. You must provide some food and drink after your church ceremony for your wedding guests. This is your wedding reception, and it is to thank your guests for coming to your ceremony. It is not optional, and it must be held on your wedding day, not some other day. If nothing else, you can serve cake, coffee and punch in the church fellowship hall.

The party you are planning to celebrate your marriage is not a part of your wedding at all. There is nothing wrong with you having a party to celebrate, but please, no wedding traditions. No wedding ceremony! That was for your wedding day, and this is no longer your wedding day. Having a re-do ceremony is very inappropriate! No "first dance", but you can have a special dance for "the newlyweds". No bouquet toss. No big cake cutting and feeding each other. On that day you are no longer the bride and groom, but "the newlyweds". It is simply a party to celebrate your marriage, not a wedding reception.

If you are wearing a formal wedding gown and veil to your ceremony, then it will look a bit odd on a day that is not your wedding day. If you have chosen a nice dress or suit, then it should look fine and you can wear it as often as your please. Remember, these people are not guests at your wedding. They are guests at a party. You are no longer a bride, but a married woman.

You will need two separate invitations to these two separate events. We would be happy to help you with wording over on the invitations board.

ei34 · May 2017

If you fall in love with a particular dress, no reason you can't wear it twice!
I would scratch the ceremony, and any spotlight dances, wedding party if you have them, etc. for the larger, later celebration.

artbyallie · May 2017

Everyone at your wedding ceremony must be hosted immediately afterward as a thank you for attending. What exactly is the point of the other thing on the other day? Because it won't be a wedding or a wedding reception.

ahoywedding · May 2017

Another vote for "I would have loved to wear my dress twice!"

But again, it's poor etiquette to have the ceremony and reception on different days. A private ceremony (immediate family only) with a larger reception immediately (or after pictures) following is completely fine. I've had a few family members do this and it was lovely and worked very well!

Is there a reason you cannot schedule both events on the same day? Re-creating your ceremony on the second day is not polite to those guests. Let them know it will be a reception only, and that you're getting married in a family-only ceremony earlier in the day.

JediElizabeth · May 2017

Knottie2a7cb2971254929c said:

closed.

OP, you cannot close a discussion, and it just attracts more attention when you delete something (especially when you've been quoted).

If you go along with this plan, I hope you are at least honest with your guests before they RSVP to your party day. I would probably be ok to going to something like this, but I'd be very upset to discover when I got there (or even after I booked my hotel) that it wasn't an actual wedding.

MobKaz · May 2017

Knottie2a7cb2971254929c , I hope you will return to clarify a few things.

Please understand that although your question was regarding attire, responders will comment on additional information that you provided.

Your concern seems to be about "wowing" your FI on two different days. The issue, however, is that he will only be your FI on your wedding day. He will be your husband on the day of your celebration. Will you not be living with him after your wedding day? Will you not be "readying" with him in your own home?

Whether you invite 4 or 400 guests to your wedding, they do need to be hosted immediately following your ceremony. There is nothing rude in us explaining that to you.

Having a second party to celebrate your wedding is also appropriate, although many posters wonder why this has become a trend. There is rarely a good reason for separating the day of your wedding from your celebration. The ceremony is the inexpensive component. Your reception/party is where costs are incurred.

If guests were not "good" enough to be invited to your wedding ceremony, there is no need for any type of reenactment prior to the party celebrating your marriage. Does that make sense?

CMGragain · May 2017

I still don't understand how the OP wants the guests to her celebration party to feel "included" without inviting them to her wedding. If you are not a wedding guest, then you are not included.

missfrodo · May 2017

Came for the DD. OP, stick around, these boards are a great place to learn, vent, whatever you need. I also find it odd to need a separate celebration on another day, but there's nothing wrong with having a party whenever you like! Just make sure you host your ceremony guests immediately following the ceremony, whether it's dinner at a restaurant, cake and punch, or pizza--that's your thank-you to them for witnessing your union. I think it's fine to wear your dress again to the celebration, and to have photos on your phone if people would like to see, but there's really no point in doing a reenactment--and this is coming from someone who ended up doing basically that!

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