Wedding 911

should I find a new planner?

I received recommendations from several wedding vendor friends for a month of coordinator. I met with her in person two months ago and she was wonderful and I was really excited to work with her. She stated she would send me a contract that week but it never appeared. I get an email every other week stating she is going to send it this week and it never appears. It has been a few days shy of 2 months now. I am hiring her for coordination closer to the event which is about 6 months away so there isn't a huge time crunch yet but I am worried that the lack of follow through is indicative of a larger organizational issue. I received so many glowing recommendations from people I know well that I do not want to believe this. Not sure at this point if I should keep waiting or look around for a back up.

Re: should I find a new planner?

  • Did you already pay her? Without a contract in place? Hindsight is 20/20 but I wouldn't do that with any other vendors. If this person is a legit wedding planner, she should have a template contract drawn up and all she has to do is fill in the blanks and attach it to an email. 

    I would do one of two things: 

    Option 1:
    Draw up your own contract with everything you want in it and ask her to sign it: 
    "Hi (name) - I have emailed you on (date), (date), (date) asking to get a contract. Since I have not received one, I drew one up. I would like you to sign this and send it back to me by (date). If you disagree with any of the terms, let me know ASAP so that we can negotiate. Thanks, Knottie#s."

    Option 2:
    Tell her she either gets you contract by (date) or you're going with someone else:
    "Hi (name) - I have emailed you on (date), (date), (date) asking to get a contract from you and we still do not have one. It is important to me to get this executed ASAP. If we do not have one signed by (date), I would like a refund and the opportunity to find a wedding planner who will be responsive with requested deliverables. Thank you, Knottie#s"

    These people aren't your friends - they're your vendors. And you're paying them. You can be polite, yet firm and ask for what you want.
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  • I haven't paid anything and she has not asked. I would not pay without a contract.


  • I haven't paid anything and she has not asked. I would not pay without a contract.


    Ok, then tell her if she doesn't get you a contract by Monday, you're going with someone else. And don't put anymore time or effort into her. 

    If she's this flakey on setting up your arrangement, I can't imagine how flakey she'll be when you need her to get stuff done and she's already guaranteed payment by your contract.
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  • I agree with @southernbelle0915.  You would think that this woman would be eager to sign you up and get your business (and your money), so to me, the fact that she's being flaky and unresponsive at this stage is not a good sign. Maybe she'd do a great job once this was all taken care of, but I don't think there's any guarantee of that. Considering that most of my vendors had a standard contract in which they just needed to fill in a few things specific to my wedding, I really don't get why it's taking her so long to get this to you. 

    Personally, I'd go with Option 2 above. Tell her she has x number of days to get this to you or you're going to find somebody else. You may even want to start speaking to other planners before that number of days is up. 

    I've said it before, and I'll say it again: no matter how wonderful your vendors may seem, this is a business relationship, not a friendship. You do not have to make leeway or excuses for these people. This is their business and they're supposed to treat it as such. And if they can't do that, don't make it your problem.


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  • Ditto PPs. If she's flaking this much now when she's TRYING to get your business, imagine how she'll be once she has your money. I would give her a very short amount of time to get you a contract, and then find someone else. It's definitely not worth all of this headache! She's running a business, she should act like it.
  • I had a similar situation; I had an aquaintence who was a photographer and I wanted to do my wedding. I contacted her over a year before the wedding, and we worked out the details (price, timing, etc.). She kept saying she was going to get me the contract "this week" or "by the end of next week." This went on for a couple of months, but I was in no hurry to book since we were so far out, so wasn't really worried. After these few months she told me she had "already booked another couple who hadn't picked a date yet when they signed the contract, and ended up picking my date." To say I was irritated was an understatement. 

    I'd give her a time limit ("I need the contract by the end of this week"), and if she doesn't get it to you, find someone else. 
  • I received recommendations from several wedding vendor friends for a month of coordinator. I met with her in person two months ago and she was wonderful and I was really excited to work with her. She stated she would send me a contract that week but it never appeared. I get an email every other week stating she is going to send it this week and it never appears. It has been a few days shy of 2 months now. I am hiring her for coordination closer to the event which is about 6 months away so there isn't a huge time crunch yet but I am worried that the lack of follow through is indicative of a larger organizational issue. I received so many glowing recommendations from people I know well that I do not want to believe this. Not sure at this point if I should keep waiting or look around for a back up.

    I would give her a short, solid deadline (no more than a week), "You have been promising a contract for the last two months, but I still haven't received one. Either a contract by X or I will find someone else." Then get on finding a new one. Especially since your wedding is in 6 months and you need time to find a new coordinator. Consultations, catching them up to speed on details, etc.

    I understand there are different purposes for coordinators, and some just help with little details like decorations or picking flowers - others basically handle every aspect of the wedding. So, are your other vendors and the venue already booked or are you counting on the coordinator to arrange those? If venue, photographer, food/drink, officiant, etc. haven't been booked, get on those and don't wait for your coordinator. I only mention that because my sister had her coordinator take care of everything, including reserving the venue and booking vendors.
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