Should I feel guilty?

Re: Should I feel guilty?

• divarhd member

  

  June 2017

  @CMGragainI wish my FMIL was as understanding as you.  My FI and I are both mid 30's and she's not happy with anything we want to do.  Even tho we're actually doing mostly traditional, just not church/religious ceremony.  It's extremely frustrating.  I'm probably in the minority but I agree with OP, it's HER wedding, she's an adult.  If his family doesn't like it and they're gonna hold it over their heads forever, well, they don't need to be part of their lives.  My FI said exactly that about his own mother. 
  

  Met: 5/4/16
  Dating: 6/21/16
  Engaged: 3/20/17
  Wedding: 2/24/18
  

  Report0 Reply
• ahoywedding member

  

  June 2017

  
  

  CMGragain said:

  
  

  Well, I have a 35 year old unmarried son.  If he told me that he had decided to get married to the girl of his dreams in a private ceremony in Timbuktu, I would be happy for him.  I would expect him to visit us afterwards and spend a family day or two.  No, I don't think this would upset me.  Not all families are alike.
  

  
  

  
  This is a really great attitude to have! Your kids are lucky you feel that way
  
  I do think there's a difference between saying "Hey parents, we got married! No one knew, and you're the first people we're telling" and saying "Hey parents, we're going to get married and we'll tell you all about it but you're not allowed to come." I could see how the latter could be hurtful, and it's up to the couple getting married to know their families and how people may react, then take that into consideration.

  Report4 Reply