So .... I'm conflicted on things and I'm not sure if anyone has felt the same - or gets what I'm talking about.
{side note: I'm also debating on seeing my counselor about this, to kind of work out feelings}
I was talking to my mum, and she was saying she wants to price about using my dad's ashes for jewelry. That's cool. She's mentioned that before.
She wants me to go too, so that way I can see what the options are. Also she wants to give me some of the ashes.
This is the part that has me conflicted {and she knows my feelings fyi}
My mum said she feels ready to let go of some {rest or even half - unsure yet} of the ashes.
She knows where she'd put them. There's a road that isn't busy. Right by there is a hydro line {my dad was an electrician} and often there are deer and other wildlife.
He really would have loved that place.
I'm conflicted because I don't want her to let go of the ashes. He's been in the box for 3 years. No one knows he's there, except for the fact his photo is there and the fact it looks like a men's jewelry box. But it's in the corner.
It's a completely selfish way of feeling, because my mum has to live with it. But honestly I figured she'd hold on to what was left of the ashes after making a ring so that way we could decide if she wanted a plot to put him and eventually her.
Has anyone else experienced this {or similar} ?