Modern Momming

ILoveBeachMusic · June 2017

kaos16 said:

BTW, my son has been in his crib in his room from the day he came home from the hospital. . . . . . . . judge away!
We used the Owlet monitor with him. Anyone familiar with that? We LOVED it, so much so that we upgraded to the new version in case we have another child, we'd like to try soon.

All three of my kids slept in their own room from the time they came home from the hospital. They are all adults with at least a bachelor's degree (two have masters), supporting themselves and living on their own. They are also in long term relationships (one married, one engaged and another dating). I think they have turned out alright in spite of sleeping in a crib, having a bottle when needed and playing with plastic toys!

CMGragain · June 2017

I was so insecure about being a parent. I knew that I didn't have a good role model. The variety of parenting styles in my mother's support group (church) was eye opening.
I must have done something right. Dear son (age 36) telephoned Monday. He had just seen a movie that triggered something emotional in him. He talked for two hours, and it quickly became apparent that he was drinking - unusual for him. By the time he hung up, he was almost incoherent, sobbing "I love you, Mom!" over and over again. Sheesh!

MissKittyDanger · June 2017

kaos16 said:

BTW, my son has been in his crib in his room from the day he came home from the hospital. . . . . . . . judge away!
We used the Owlet monitor with him. Anyone familiar with that? We LOVED it, so much so that we upgraded to the new version in case we have another child, we'd like to try soon.

I think we'll be doing same. Maybe bassinet at the beginning just in case but both my husband and I move around a lot at night so for safety it'd be a bad idea lmao

thisismynickname2 · June 2017

MissKittyDanger said:

kaos16 said:

BTW, my son has been in his crib in his room from the day he came home from the hospital. . . . . . . . judge away!
We used the Owlet monitor with him. Anyone familiar with that? We LOVED it, so much so that we upgraded to the new version in case we have another child, we'd like to try soon.

I think we'll be doing same. Maybe bassinet at the beginning just in case but both my husband and I move around a lot at night so for safety it'd be a bad idea lmao

STUCK IN BOX
We're going to have our baby sleep in a bassinet in our room for 6 months. I think I'm going to be one of those deathly paranoid mothers ("is she still breathing? what was that sound she made???") and I'm just going to feel so much better with her in the room.

That said, on the topic of parenting advice, I was visiting my friend when her baby was 2 weeks old. She said the baby wouldn't sleep in his crib so she was co-sleeping with him in a regular bed. I didn't say anything, I swear, but co-sleeping infants freaks me the fuck out. I'm too afraid of smothering the child. I respect that other people do it but I couldn't. Not my place to say anything to my friends about their parenting choices.

DrillSergeantCat · June 2017

@thisismynickname the AAP suggests room sharing until 1 year old now as well as having them in a bassinet. So good plan there. (Not that having them in their own room is bad, either.) As for co-sleeping, the instincts involved are amazing! I did it with PG because she was cluster feeding and it was easier to breastsleep than it was to be up for hours at a time. Just don't be afraid to adjust the rules you have now if needed.

ILoveBeachMusic · June 2017

Our pediatrician suggested not even having the baby sleep in our room because they are so noisy while they sleep that they wake you up when they don't need anything. I found this out when we slept in DS1's room on the weekend of his baptism. Grandparents were in our room so we slept in the guest bed in his room. My goodness that child made noise all night long and kept me awake! I'm the kind of person who doesn't function well without sleep so needless to say I never slept in the same room with him again! LOL

levioosa · June 2017

With regards to having the baby in the same room or not...it is recommended now (American Academy of Pediatrics) that babies sleep in the same room as parents for a minimum of 6 months, and ideally a year to reduce the risk of SIDS. Bed-sharing is not recommended for numerous reasons. They are finding out that many children who have died of SIDS do so because their brains are not mature enough to wake them up from a deep sleep. So sleeping in the parent's room keeps them above that deep deep sleep threshold. There's no way to tell if your infant has the immature brain stem or not. Not trying to shame anyone or anything. That recommendation just came out a few months ago. If we have kids, I'm going to do the recommendations...but then I am sure as hell kicking them into their own room. Mama needs her sleep.

I'm probably going to be more of an old school parent. But I love the new emphasis on bodily autonomy (i.e. no, you don't have to kiss grandma goodbye if you don't want to). Growing up Italian, I was always forced to kiss people and I hated it. No. Get away from my face.

southernbelle0915 · June 2017

Yea, room sharing is different than co-sleeping. Personally, I don't think the risks of co-sleeping outweigh the benefits. There were a few times when, out of desperation, I pulled babybelle in bed with us. I didn't sleep a wink. I was too nervous I'd roll over on him. It was miserable for me.

And I don't think room sharing would have worked for us. Babybelle is a light sleeper. When we have room shared on trips (hotel rooms, staying with family), he wakes up when one of us rolls over in bed. Like hell I was going to do that for a year. NOPE. I'm a better parent when I'm rested. He can sleep in his room, in his crib. We have a video monitor and that's as good as it's going to get.

MissKittyDanger · June 2017

thisismynickname said:

MissKittyDanger said:

kaos16 said:

BTW, my son has been in his crib in his room from the day he came home from the hospital. . . . . . . . judge away!
We used the Owlet monitor with him. Anyone familiar with that? We LOVED it, so much so that we upgraded to the new version in case we have another child, we'd like to try soon.

I think we'll be doing same. Maybe bassinet at the beginning just in case but both my husband and I move around a lot at night so for safety it'd be a bad idea lmao

STUCK IN BOX
We're going to have our baby sleep in a bassinet in our room for 6 months. I think I'm going to be one of those deathly paranoid mothers ("is she still breathing? what was that sound she made???") and I'm just going to feel so much better with her in the room.

That said, on the topic of parenting advice, I was visiting my friend when her baby was 2 weeks old. She said the baby wouldn't sleep in his crib so she was co-sleeping with him in a regular bed. I didn't say anything, I swear, but co-sleeping infants freaks me the fuck out. I'm too afraid of smothering the child. I respect that other people do it but I couldn't. Not my place to say anything to my friends about their parenting choices.

Bolded was my mum after I had surgery at 4yrs old. You use to be able to hear me breath for as long as they could remember. At 4, I had tonsils and adenoids removed and tubes put in my ears {major surgery for 4yrs old}
I was napping on the couch, my mum made my dad come check on me since suddenly you couldn't hear me breath lmao!

Also I would be same paranoid type tbh

kaos16 · June 2017

levioosa said:

With regards to having the baby in the same room or not...it is recommended now (American Academy of Pediatrics) that babies sleep in the same room as parents for a minimum of 6 months, and ideally a year to reduce the risk of SIDS. Bed-sharing is not recommended for numerous reasons. They are finding out that many children who have died of SIDS do so because their brains are not mature enough to wake them up from a deep sleep. So sleeping in the parent's room keeps them above that deep deep sleep threshold. There's no way to tell if your infant has the immature brain stem or not. Not trying to shame anyone or anything. That recommendation just came out a few months ago. If we have kids, I'm going to do the recommendations...but then I am sure as hell kicking them into their own room. Mama needs her sleep.

I'm probably going to be more of an old school parent. But I love the new emphasis on bodily autonomy (i.e. no, you don't have to kiss grandma goodbye if you don't want to). Growing up Italian, I was always forced to kiss people and I hated it. No. Get away from my face.

I picture the difficulty in trying to transition a 1 year old to a different room for sleep!

ILoveBeachMusic · June 2017

kaos16 said:

levioosa said:

With regards to having the baby in the same room or not...it is recommended now (American Academy of Pediatrics) that babies sleep in the same room as parents for a minimum of 6 months, and ideally a year to reduce the risk of SIDS. Bed-sharing is not recommended for numerous reasons. They are finding out that many children who have died of SIDS do so because their brains are not mature enough to wake them up from a deep sleep. So sleeping in the parent's room keeps them above that deep deep sleep threshold. There's no way to tell if your infant has the immature brain stem or not. Not trying to shame anyone or anything. That recommendation just came out a few months ago. If we have kids, I'm going to do the recommendations...but then I am sure as hell kicking them into their own room. Mama needs her sleep.

I'm probably going to be more of an old school parent. But I love the new emphasis on bodily autonomy (i.e. no, you don't have to kiss grandma goodbye if you don't want to). Growing up Italian, I was always forced to kiss people and I hated it. No. Get away from my face.

I picture the difficulty in trying to transition a 1 year old to a different room for sleep!

I was thinking the same thing. Also once they can pull up on a crib they will stand there a call for you. It is much easier to ignore them (if it isn't a call for something needed) when they aren't in the same room.

Obviously, I haven't had an infant in many years. I was just told this morning that doctors are telling new mothers to never let their babies sleep in their carseats while in the car. How do you do that? (serious question for you young moms) My babies always fell asleep as soon as we would leave. The 23 year old will still fall asleep within 10 minutes after leaving on a trip unless you engage him in conversation!

MairePoppy · June 2017

I'm glad I did my momming long, long ago.

I had one friend who had babies the same age as my older two. We were both pretty easy going and non judgmental. She invited me to her play group once and I absolutely hated it. The six moms were so catty and competitive, each thinking they were experts on child rearing. Guess what? If you're lucky, you're an expert on your own children, no one else's.

TrixieJess · June 2017

kaos16 said:

levioosa said:

With regards to having the baby in the same room or not...it is recommended now (American Academy of Pediatrics) that babies sleep in the same room as parents for a minimum of 6 months, and ideally a year to reduce the risk of SIDS. Bed-sharing is not recommended for numerous reasons. They are finding out that many children who have died of SIDS do so because their brains are not mature enough to wake them up from a deep sleep. So sleeping in the parent's room keeps them above that deep deep sleep threshold. There's no way to tell if your infant has the immature brain stem or not. Not trying to shame anyone or anything. That recommendation just came out a few months ago. If we have kids, I'm going to do the recommendations...but then I am sure as hell kicking them into their own room. Mama needs her sleep.

I'm probably going to be more of an old school parent. But I love the new emphasis on bodily autonomy (i.e. no, you don't have to kiss grandma goodbye if you don't want to). Growing up Italian, I was always forced to kiss people and I hated it. No. Get away from my face.

I picture the difficulty in trying to transition a 1 year old to a different room for sleep!

This was the recommendation when our son was born 4 years ago (Canada goes by WHO recommendations) and we transitioned him from his crib in our room to a toddler bed at just over one, then to a double bed at two. The transitions were difficult for a couple of nights but he's slept like that since.

lovesclimbing · June 2017

ILoveBeachMusic said:

kaos16 said:

levioosa said:

With regards to having the baby in the same room or not...it is recommended now (American Academy of Pediatrics) that babies sleep in the same room as parents for a minimum of 6 months, and ideally a year to reduce the risk of SIDS. Bed-sharing is not recommended for numerous reasons. They are finding out that many children who have died of SIDS do so because their brains are not mature enough to wake them up from a deep sleep. So sleeping in the parent's room keeps them above that deep deep sleep threshold. There's no way to tell if your infant has the immature brain stem or not. Not trying to shame anyone or anything. That recommendation just came out a few months ago. If we have kids, I'm going to do the recommendations...but then I am sure as hell kicking them into their own room. Mama needs her sleep.

I'm probably going to be more of an old school parent. But I love the new emphasis on bodily autonomy (i.e. no, you don't have to kiss grandma goodbye if you don't want to). Growing up Italian, I was always forced to kiss people and I hated it. No. Get away from my face.

I picture the difficulty in trying to transition a 1 year old to a different room for sleep!

I was thinking the same thing. Also once they can pull up on a crib they will stand there a call for you. It is much easier to ignore them (if it isn't a call for something needed) when they aren't in the same room.

Obviously, I haven't had an infant in many years. I was just told this morning that doctors are telling new mothers to never let their babies sleep in their carseats while in the car. How do you do that? (serious question for you young moms) My babies always fell asleep as soon as we would leave. The 23 year old will still fall asleep within 10 minutes after leaving on a trip unless you engage him in conversation!

I sewed a car seat cover and was showing it off to some friends in an FB message group. Mostly moms and they are totally non judgy and we all have pretty different styles. Anyway, they just said "just so you know, really aren't supposed to use covers. Inhibit breathing/air circulation. And also not really supposed to be sleeping in them much." I'm just thinking, you have got to be kidding me!!! What about when it's raining?? What about when you live in ALASKA and it's -10 or colder and you're also not allowed to have them in bulky outerwear in their car seat!?!?!?

They weren't judgy about it, but I'm also not planning to post about using it much.

levioosa · June 2017

With the baby sleeping in the car seat thing...the big thing was mostly about people who let their kid sleep in the car seat for hours. Like, just bring it into the house and never take them out since they're sleeping. Unless you are sitting in the back seat with your kid keeping them awake, they're probably going to fall asleep. And doing that would just be impossible and impractical.

kaos16 · June 2017

ILoveBeachMusic said:

kaos16 said:

levioosa said:

With regards to having the baby in the same room or not...it is recommended now (American Academy of Pediatrics) that babies sleep in the same room as parents for a minimum of 6 months, and ideally a year to reduce the risk of SIDS. Bed-sharing is not recommended for numerous reasons. They are finding out that many children who have died of SIDS do so because their brains are not mature enough to wake them up from a deep sleep. So sleeping in the parent's room keeps them above that deep deep sleep threshold. There's no way to tell if your infant has the immature brain stem or not. Not trying to shame anyone or anything. That recommendation just came out a few months ago. If we have kids, I'm going to do the recommendations...but then I am sure as hell kicking them into their own room. Mama needs her sleep.

I'm probably going to be more of an old school parent. But I love the new emphasis on bodily autonomy (i.e. no, you don't have to kiss grandma goodbye if you don't want to). Growing up Italian, I was always forced to kiss people and I hated it. No. Get away from my face.

I picture the difficulty in trying to transition a 1 year old to a different room for sleep!

I was thinking the same thing. Also once they can pull up on a crib they will stand there a call for you. It is much easier to ignore them (if it isn't a call for something needed) when they aren't in the same room.

Obviously, I haven't had an infant in many years. I was just told this morning that doctors are telling new mothers to never let their babies sleep in their carseats while in the car. How do you do that? (serious question for you young moms) My babies always fell asleep as soon as we would leave. The 23 year old will still fall asleep within 10 minutes after leaving on a trip unless you engage him in conversation!

I remember reading something about the sleeping in carseats issue. If I remember correctly, the little, little babies can't hold their necks properly and can flop forward when sleeping in a carseat impinging their airway. It seems to pop up in the news occasionally with kids brought into the house or daycare from the car and left in the carseat to continue sleeping. Very sad!

I feel like in this day and age everything is classified as a hazard!!!!

MissKittyDanger · June 2017

levioosa said:

With the baby sleeping in the car seat thing...the big thing was mostly about people who let their kid sleep in the car seat for hours. Like, just bring it into the house and never take them out since they're sleeping. Unless you are sitting in the back seat with your kid keeping them awake, they're probably going to fall asleep. And doing that would just be impossible and impractical.

Also some kids are fussy and driving them around sometimes helps.
My friend's first son was like that. When they brought him in, they would leave him in the car seat for a little bit {like 10mins maybe} to ensure he really was asleep, then bring him into bed.

MissKittyDanger · June 2017

ILoveBeachMusic said:

kaos16 said:

levioosa said:

With regards to having the baby in the same room or not...it is recommended now (American Academy of Pediatrics) that babies sleep in the same room as parents for a minimum of 6 months, and ideally a year to reduce the risk of SIDS. Bed-sharing is not recommended for numerous reasons. They are finding out that many children who have died of SIDS do so because their brains are not mature enough to wake them up from a deep sleep. So sleeping in the parent's room keeps them above that deep deep sleep threshold. There's no way to tell if your infant has the immature brain stem or not. Not trying to shame anyone or anything. That recommendation just came out a few months ago. If we have kids, I'm going to do the recommendations...but then I am sure as hell kicking them into their own room. Mama needs her sleep.

I'm probably going to be more of an old school parent. But I love the new emphasis on bodily autonomy (i.e. no, you don't have to kiss grandma goodbye if you don't want to). Growing up Italian, I was always forced to kiss people and I hated it. No. Get away from my face.

I picture the difficulty in trying to transition a 1 year old to a different room for sleep!

I was thinking the same thing. Also once they can pull up on a crib they will stand there a call for you. It is much easier to ignore them (if it isn't a call for something needed) when they aren't in the same room.

Obviously, I haven't had an infant in many years. I was just told this morning that doctors are telling new mothers to never let their babies sleep in their carseats while in the car. How do you do that? (serious question for you young moms) My babies always fell asleep as soon as we would leave. The 23 year old will still fall asleep within 10 minutes after leaving on a trip unless you engage him in conversation!

I'm nearly 30 and I'm the same. I get in the car for long car rides, I'm half asleep already!
As a kid I was a wonderful traveler because of this! My parents knew that as soon as they were 10mins on the highway, I was asleep.

thisismynickname2 · June 2017

We got a car seat cover because of the weather too, and with city living we're still walking an entire block to where our car is. The cover has a big zippered panel for baby's face though so I'm not worried about air circulation, whatever.

And with the same-room sleeping thing, I'm the very light sleeper. DH can sleep through anything. I do want him to get his sleep so at least one of us is functioning properly, so I fully expect all nighttime feedings and changings and soothings to be done by me.

southernbelle0915 · June 2017

Yea I think the sleeping in car seats thing is more to prevent people from letting them sleep in there for HOURS.

Our pill popping neighbor offered to babysit babybelle when he was 2 months old (mmmnope). She explained to me she always got her kids to sleep by driving them in the car at bed time and leaving them in their car seats overnight. Like they slept in their car seats for 10 hours. Every night. Until they were 1.5.

I'm pretty sure that's what people are talking about....not letting them nap in there while you're out running errands.

ILoveBeachMusic · June 2017

Yeah I totally understand not letting them sleep in their carseats for hours - especially newborns, but to never let them sleep in them seems a bit extreme. We used a neck/pillow things to prop their heads up in the car seat This mom was telling me you are suppose to sing to them and play with them so they won't fall asleep. Mmmmm yeah so then you are driving and being very distracted!

MairePoppy · June 2017

levioosa said:

With the baby sleeping in the car seat thing...the big thing was mostly about people who let their kid sleep in the car seat for hours. Like, just bring it into the house and never take them out since they're sleeping. Unless you are sitting in the back seat with your kid keeping them awake, they're probably going to fall asleep. And doing that would just be impossible and impractical.

Thanks for explaining. I was thinking my adult kids are lucky to be alive. They always fell asleep in the car. When Number 3 was fussy, we'd put him in the car seat and take him for a ride to put him to sleep. Then we'd carefully remove him at home to the crib. We didn't bring the car seat into the house for the babies to sleep in; it was much too big and heavy to carry around. The other two kids were easier. I'd park them next to the running dishwasher in the bassinet for their naps.

I have saved some of our baby equipment in case we are ever fortunate to have grandchildren. But all of that stuff is probably considered dangerous by today's standards.

southernbelle0915 · June 2017

ILoveBeachMusic said:

Yeah I totally understand not letting them sleep in their carseats for hours - especially newborns, but to never let them sleep in them seems a bit extreme. We used a neck/pillow things to prop their heads up in the car seat This mom was telling me you are suppose to sing to them and play with them so they won't fall asleep. Mmmmm yeah so then you are driving and being very distracted!

LOL! Well, she has it all figured out doesn't she? Bless her heart.

Yea, I'm going to play with my infant (in a rear facing car seat) so he doesn't fall asleep. Not dangerous at all...

banana468 · June 2017

Our kiddos would often fall asleep in the car seats but ditto that we didn't let them STAY in the seats overnight. The car seat itself is not meant to pass for another place for the child to sleep for more than essentially the length of the car ride.

Chiquito was a pain for sleeping and can be still. I weaned him at 2.25 yrs but he still wakes about once a night. For the first 9 ish months he slept a lot in my room and DH slept in the guest room and that SUCKED for me but my husband managed to get better sleep without me. I don't look back at that point as a great time in my marriage and I missed my husband being there with me. DH however loves going to hotels with two beds on the chance that he can sleep like a starfish.

CMGragain · June 2017

I so envy you ladies! My kids NEVER fell asleep in the car. They refused to take naps, too. I asked my pediatrician, and he just shrugged his shoulders and said, "Once in awhile you get kids who don't need much sleep." Road trips were pure hell.

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