Niece as flower girl?

Answers

• southernbelle0915 mod

  

  June 2017

  
  

  Knottieabf1245aef4f469e said:

  
  

  So my fiance' has 3 nieces (13, 11 and 10 years old) and a nephew (11 years old). I thought it would be a nice idea to somehow include them in the wedding. I thought about making the 13 year old niece a junior bridesmaid but I'm still up in the air about that. I only have 3 bridesmaids and my maid of honor in my line. And I've already planned to have my 5 year old nephew as the ring bearer. I was thinking of having his youngest niece, the 10 year old, be the flower girl. Now I've read on these boards and various other sites that she might be too old to be considered a flower girl. I figure - it's my wedding and I can do what I want. Granted, I haven't mentioned any of this to my fiance's family so I don't know their thoughts on it. He doesn't mind, thinks it's nice to include them. I do have a cousin with a 4 year old daughter who I could ask if she could be the flower girl but then I feel guilty that both of those roles are people from my side, you know? So I'm not sure what to do. Any advise?  

  
  

  
  This is just me, but I wouldn't have any of them in the wedding. It's a clean line - the little one is a ring bearer and the older ones are guests. It's less to manage and their parents don't have to spend a bunch of money on special outfits for them. If you want to make them feel special get them corsages and boutonnieres. 
  
  If you decide to include them......here's what I'd do:
  
  10 year old - ask her if she wants to be a FG. If she thinks it's a "baby job" (or whatever) then she's too old and you could let her help the 11 year olds. If she wants to do it, let her do it. 
  
  11 year old boy and girl - ask them if they'd like to be ushers. This way, their parents don't have to buy special outfits and they can still feel important/involved. And if the job gets boring or they decide last minute they don't want to do it, it's not a crucial role anyway.
  
  13 year old girl - ask her to do a reading.

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  June 2017

  
  

  Knottieabf1245aef4f469e said:

  
  

  So my fiance' has 3 nieces (13, 11 and 10 years old) and a nephew (11 years old). I thought it would be a nice idea to somehow include them in the wedding. I thought about making the 13 year old niece a junior bridesmaid but I'm still up in the air about that. I only have 3 bridesmaids and my maid of honor in my line. And I've already planned to have my 5 year old nephew as the ring bearer. I was thinking of having his youngest niece, the 10 year old, be the flower girl. Now I've read on these boards and various other sites that she might be too old to be considered a flower girl. I figure - it's my wedding and I can do what I want. Granted, I haven't mentioned any of this to my fiance's family so I don't know their thoughts on it. He doesn't mind, thinks it's nice to include them. I do have a cousin with a 4 year old daughter who I could ask if she could be the flower girl but then I feel guilty that both of those roles are people from my side, you know? So I'm not sure what to do. Any advise?  

  
  

  
  If your fiance is close with these four tweens, he should ask them to stand up in his wedding as groomswomen and groomsman.  I agree that 10 is a little too old for flower girl.  And Junior Bridesmaid isn't a thing.  Bridal Parties do not have to be split along gender lines.  You should have the people you are closest to standing next to you on your wedding day, he should have his, and sides DO NOT have to be even.

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• flantastic member

  

  June 2017

  When they say junior bridesmaid isn't a thing - an explanation:
  
  The only actual job of a bridesmaid is to stand up with you for your wedding. Adding the title "junior" just points out that they are younger than the rest when they are doing the exact same thing, which always makes any teen feel great.
  
  No one will be surprised or hurt if the 13 year old is not included in a bachelorette party. It isn't mandatory that bridesmaids do that.
  
  However, PPs make the excellent point that she should stand up on the side of whomever she's close to. If she's close to your FI, she should stand up on his side. If she's not really close to him, neither she nor the other kids should be given roles for the sake of including them. They're already very included as invited guests.
  

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• Subwayloves member

  

  June 2017

  If you are close to all of these children and want them in the wedding, why not ask what they want to do? (after talking to their parents about it first of course!) Maybe the 10 year old wants to be a flower girl, the 13 year old wants to be a bridesmaid (or grooms woman), and the 11 year old wants to do a reading. Give them options and let them pick!
  
  I wanted my 10 year old niece to be in our wedding party. After making sure it was fine with her parents, I asked her what she wanted to do. Did she want to be a flower girl? Be a bridesmaid? Do a reading? Just be a guest? Whatever she wanted and made her comfortable was fine with me. She picked being a flower girl, I think because she had been one in another wedding before, and it worked out fine. 

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• CMGragain member

  

  June 2017

  I think the best way to include your relatives in your wedding is to invite them as guests.  They will enjoy the wedding without any stress.
  

  

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• Knottieabf1245aef4f469e member

  

  June 2017

  All valid points. Thank you all for your opinions/advice!  

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