Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

Ceremony Script

I am a super shy bride with extremely bad social anxiety so I'm trying to make sure my ceremony is as short as humanly possible. His dad is our preacher and he can be very long winded. I know if I don't write exactly what he can say that I'll be standing up there for a year lol Does this sound okay? We are very religious but I don't want to take time for scripture readings and such to leave me up there longer. Anything to add or take off to make it better?? I'm wanting to do the vows and ring thing together to make it shorter too!

 

Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today in the sight of God to witness and celebrate the marriage of **** and ***** Welcome and thank you for being here on this special and blessed day. **** and *** have chosen rings, an unbroken circle, to show their token of love to each other.


*** please place ***'s ring on her finger.
*** do you take *** to be your wife?
I Do
In the name of God do you promise to love her, honor her and cherish her? Do you promise in the sight of God today to always be faithful to her and love her in good times and bad until you both shall live?
I do

*** please place ***’s ring on his finger.
*** do you take *** to be your husband?
I do
In the name of God do you promise to love him, honor him, and cherish him? Do you promise to always be a faithful wife and love him through sickness and health?
I do
I know pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride.

Re: Ceremony Script

  • Have you checked with your FFIL to see if he is ok combining things to such a short ceremony? He may feel that there are some important things left out (don't know what but just speculating). Not that it really matters, but as a guest I would kind of side eye such a short ceremony. Are you having a wedding party and processional. Any music? 

    If you added scripture readings, maybe you and your FI could sit down during that part. Are you going to have a prayer or blessing?
  • I've not discussed with him about the ceremony yet..but me not having a anxiety attack is far more important than whatever he feels needs to be said.  Yes we have a wedding party and processional with music! I just want to be up there as short of a time as possible and during that part I won't be standing up there. I'm sure his father will add a prayer either at the end or the beginning but that's okay as everyones eyes are closed and not on me lol 


  • I've not discussed with him about the ceremony yet..but me not having a anxiety attack is far more important than whatever he feels needs to be said.  Yes we have a wedding party and processional with music! I just want to be up there as short of a time as possible and during that part I won't be standing up there. I'm sure his father will add a prayer either at the end or the beginning but that's okay as everyones eyes are closed and not on me lol 


    So, this is a giant red flag to me. The ceremony should be what you both want. You need to discuss this and be on the same page. 
  • I had a Catholic Mass, which was obviously long. We sat when people normally sat (through readings, etc.) and only came back up front for the vows and the blessing. It's okay if you're not standing up front, hands joined the whole time. Give yourself a place to sit down (it can even be in the front row, people only need to see you when you're involved) while readings are said and preaching is done. You don't need to be up on display the whole time.






  • I've not discussed with him about the ceremony yet..but me not having a anxiety attack is far more important than whatever he feels needs to be said.  Yes we have a wedding party and processional with music! I just want to be up there as short of a time as possible and during that part I won't be standing up there. I'm sure his father will add a prayer either at the end or the beginning but that's okay as everyones eyes are closed and not on me lol 




    So, this is a giant red flag to me. The ceremony should be what you both want. You need to discuss this and be on the same page. 


    He as in the preacher lol I don't care what he wants lol . My fiance is fine with ANYTHING. He's down to just kiss me and that be it lol
  • I second that you need to sit down and talk with FFIL. With our officiant there were certain things that were dictated in the religion he HAD to cover in order for him to be able to marry us. You need to talk with him to make sure he can even cut these things out of the ceremony. Talk with FI and the two of you together can approach him about it. 

     FutureBarnard said:


    I am a super shy bride with extremely bad social anxiety so I'm trying to make sure my ceremony is as short as humanly possible. His dad is our preacher and he can be very long winded. I know if I don't write exactly what he can say that I'll be standing up there for a year lol Does this sound okay? We are very religious but I don't want to take time for scripture readings and such to leave me up there longer. Anything to add or take off to make it better?? I'm wanting to do the vows and ring thing together to make it shorter too!

     

    Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today in the sight of God to witness and celebrate the marriage of **** and ***** Welcome and thank you for being here on this special and blessed day. **** and *** have chosen rings, an unbroken circle, to show their token of love to each other.


    *** please place ***'s ring on her finger.
    *** do you take *** to be your wife?
    I Do
    In the name of God do you promise to love her, honor her and cherish her? Do you promise in the sight of God today to always be faithful to her and love her in good times and bad until you both shall live?
    I do

    *** please place ***’s ring on his finger.
    *** do you take *** to be your husband?
    I do
    In the name of God do you promise to love him, honor him, and cherish him? Do you promise to always be a faithful wife and love him through sickness and health?
    I do
    I know pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride.




    image












  • I've not discussed with him about the ceremony yet..but me not having a anxiety attack is far more important than whatever he feels needs to be said.  Yes we have a wedding party and processional with music! I just want to be up there as short of a time as possible and during that part I won't be standing up there. I'm sure his father will add a prayer either at the end or the beginning but that's okay as everyones eyes are closed and not on me lol 






    So, this is a giant red flag to me. The ceremony should be what you both want. You need to discuss this and be on the same page. 




    He as in the preacher lol I don't care what he wants lol . My fiance is fine with ANYTHING. He's down to just kiss me and that be it lol


    Ok, I take back my red flag throwing. I thought you were referring to your FI's input in the ceremony. My apologies. 


  • I had a Catholic Mass, which was obviously long. We sat when people normally sat (through readings, etc.) and only came back up front for the vows and the blessing. It's okay if you're not standing up front, hands joined the whole time. Give yourself a place to sit down (it can even be in the front row, people only need to see you when you're involved) while readings are said and preaching is done. You don't need to be up on display the whole time.


    This was what I was thinking especially as someone said that the FFIL may have to include certain things per his/your religion. I didn't mean to dismiss your social anxiety OP, I was just trying to think of ways you could not be in the spot light the entire service.
  • Different states have different laws about what must be included in the marriage ceremony.  You should check to see if there are any requirements, such as the "interrogation".  Here is a protestant style script:

    https://www.theknot.com/content/protestant-wedding-ceremony-script

    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • As someone who also has anxiety, I say do what you need to. I personally wouldn't side-eye a short ceremony, but just make sure all of the required things are there. Go over it with FFIL since he should be aware of what must be included, and what could be cut.  
  • I have a generalized anxiety disorder so I completely get feeling anxious. First, I think you need to sit down with your Fiancé and FFIL and discuss the components of the ceremony that are important to you as well as what is required in order to legally be married where you live. Find out if you need to be standing for all components and if not, ensure you have a place to sit. Ring exchanges are not mandatory in most wedding ceremonies so that could be something that you can skip. You can still have rings, just put on after.

    I would also recommend that you see your FI prior to the ceremony, if not also your guests. I got ready with my FI and we greeted our guests prior to the ceremony. It really helped me to decrease my anxiety but still feel special.

    I would also figure out what triggers your anxiety. Is it speaking in public, standing up in front of others etc. If speaking in public is an issue, consider practicing and having your FFIL speak fewer words together so that you don't stumble over your words.

Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards