Fiance upset my parents are having a party for us
Fiance and I talked about our wedding day and he gave me 2 options (we are both 35, this is his 2nd marriage). Do you want a wedding or a honeymoon in Italy? I picked Italy because he knows how much I love travel and he and I both have never been to Italy. So we planned to have church wedding and after leave straight to airport. I have a HUGE family and they all live less than an hour from us. They found out our plans and said that was great! They would be at church...he said "whoa nobody is invited, we are not having a reception. It's just immediate family only. Our parents and siblings". We are getting married in the Catholic church and so we can't shut the doors to family that wants to see us marry, knowing there is no reception after. So he said, fine that's ok. As long as they know that. Well after my parents found out that our flight was at 9pm. They invited us to a "toast celebration" after 10:30am ceremony. They will be providing finger foods and want for us to be present to have a toast in our honor and wish us well on our trip. Everyone that attends church will be invited to this. They estimate about 100 people. My fiance was livid..he said that my parents were wrong to do that..and people will look at him that day and say he could not afford to do this for me. He has a ego problem and I hate it. He said he was "prideful that he was paying for all this, cash and we would be in no dept and how does my family not understand that?" I told them, they love me. I talk to my family on a daily basis..my cousins, we are all close and he knows that. He told me his first marriage he had zero to do with that, his ex wifes parents paid for it all, he just showed up that day. He took pride in that fact he was making me happy my doing what I wanted and paying for it. I told him, I'm HAPPY, EXCITED my parents are doing this small thing for us. His mom knows about it too and my mom is involving her and they are so happy. I guess it's him being a man. My friend told me that she can understand him. He had the day planned and now my parents are taking some of his credit. Which I am so beyond happy, grateful for all his hard work in making my dreams a reality. Catholic mass and my trip to Italy. I'm blessed!! I also understand my parents are so happy for us and want to do this toast celebration. His mom explains to him how pride my parents are and want to do this, he can't take that away from them. I am trying to figure out the right words, the right way to talk to my fiance and explain to him that my parents love not only me but him as well. He needs to get over it. He wants me to tell my parents to stop their plans but I can't. So he told me that I should have nothing to do with that planning, it's their party and we just show up after and not expect much. He will be thankful but he will be shocked and let everyone know that was not in our plans to have a party. He doesn't want people to think that he could not afford it. He gave me the option and I said trip..anything extra my parents did was a surprise. Not us planning it. If you read this all..thanks for letting me vent. I'm sure it will all work out, he will understand at some point.