If you don't want an open relationship, you don't want one.

mrsconn23 · June 2017

Dear Prudence,
I met a new guy online, and on the second date he told me he is bisexual. I am OK with it overall, but he wants to have a guy on the side or find someone else to bring into our bed. I am really looking for a long-term relationship. Should I just let this one go, even though everything else is great, or should I consider allowing him to explore relationships with men? I am not sure about bringing someone else into our bed; it has never been something I was interested in.

–Two Is Plenty

ILoveBeachMusic · June 2017

mrsconn23 said:

Dear Prudence,
I met a new guy online, and on the second date he told me he is bisexual. I am OK with it overall, but he wants to have a guy on the side or find someone else to bring into our bed. I am really looking for a long-term relationship. Should I just let this one go, even though everything else is great, or should I consider allowing him to explore relationships with men? I am not sure about bringing someone else into our bed; it has never been something I was interested in.
–Two Is Plenty

Then move on.

flantastic · June 2017

ILoveBeachMusic said:

mrsconn23 said:

Dear Prudence,
I met a new guy online, and on the second date he told me he is bisexual. I am OK with it overall, but he wants to have a guy on the side or find someone else to bring into our bed. I am really looking for a long-term relationship. Should I just let this one go, even though everything else is great, or should I consider allowing him to explore relationships with men? I am not sure about bringing someone else into our bed; it has never been something I was interested in.
–Two Is Plenty

Then move on.

Seriously. It's been two dates. How much easier could it be?

DrillSergeantCat · June 2017

"I'm not comfortable with sharing my partner with other people. I think it's best we move on. Good luck in your endeavors."

charlotte989875 · June 2017

You are looking for different things and that has nothing to do with his sexuality. Find someone who wants what you want.

Heffalump · June 2017

Dear Prudie,

I met someone, and we don't want the same things in a relationship. Do I have to keep dating him?

banana468 · June 2017

You don't need to marry someone after the second date.

Image: http://synecticsworld.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/staples-950x360.jpg

mrsconn23 · June 2017

banana468 said:

You don't need to marry someone after the second date.

You don't even need to decide to have sex with someone after the second date.

short+sassy · June 2017

First off, kudos to the guy for mentioning all of that very early in the relationship.

Let me tell you why he did, LW. So that if you weren't cool with it, neither of you wasted any time/feelings.

Seriously? There were times I didn't accept a third date from someone for far less.

Then again, since there are apparently only four men where you live, he might have a hard time finding a male side piece anyway.

mrsconn23 · June 2017

short+sassy said:

First off, kudos to the guy for mentioning all of that very early in the relationship.
Let me tell you why he did, LW. So that if you weren't cool with it, neither of you wasted any time/feelings.
Seriously? There were times I didn't accept a third date from someone for far less.
Then again, since there are apparently only four men where you live, he might have a hard time finding a male side piece anyway.

This, exactly.

I wonder if LW is conflating not being OK with an open relationship/threesome situation with not being OK with his bisexuality.

short+sassy · June 2017

In a nod to this letter, let me share my funniest dealbreaker story.

Back when I was online dating, I exchanged a few messages back and forth with this one person who had responded to my ad.

In the second message, he warns me that he loves to video stream his life for the internet. That he has live video cameras in every room of his house. So he wanted to let me know, in case we got involved and I wasn't cool with that.

I was most decidedly not cool with that, lol. I sent a message back, thanking him for telling me, and letting him know that wasn't a situation I would be comfortable with. And wished him luck on his search. He replied back that he totally understood, which is why he tells people very early on, and wished me luck with my search.

All in all, a lovely exchange between two people who were obviously not right for each other. That's the way it should work.

thisismynickname2 · June 2017

Why do people even write to Prudie after a first or second date anyway? That always boggles my mind.
Part ways. Hell even ghosting wouldn't be side-eyed that early on, for me. Yeesh.

*Barbie* · June 2017

At least the guy is honest and open about what he wants - if LW doesn't feel the same, no harm done. It's not like these 2 were in a 50 year marriage when this came up.

MissKittyDanger · June 2017

My only thought is that maybe the wording is weird and LW is really saying something else?
Such as - we've only been on 2 dates, I'm not into it so how do I let him down without being rude?

lauren_charles · July 2017

It was nice that he was open with you letting you know about his sexuality. Its not easy for many people to do. If you are not into this relationship its okay to let him know how your views are on the situation. You do not want an open relation. I am sorry this post was late

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If you don't want an open relationship, you don't want one.

Re: If you don't want an open relationship, you don't want one.

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