Hey Everyone! A few years ago I was MOH for my college roommate and it was not the best of times. I had raised some concerns about her future husband when they were still dating, so no surprise, he did not care for me too much which made things awkward. Nevertheless, once they were engaged I vowed to be the best friend I could be and put my feelings of him aside. I was excited to be her MOH and wanted to make this the best day possible for her. If I could only go back and say no...
She had very high expectations for me and her bridesmaids and everything we were supposed to do for her. I fully expected to help her with anything she needed, but I was never asked to do things for her, I was commanded to do things for her. I think my favorite demand she made was to buy her more lingerie.
I was told I was in charge of the Bachelorette party and then half way through planning it, she told me she would be putting someone else in charge not me. My feelings were a little bruised, but I brushed it aside. I had planned to throw it at a location central to the majority of the bridesmaids, but she then moved it to a cabin with no cell reception 7 hours away. Needless to say, a lot of people dropped out and she was furious. She was also furious at me when I too had to drop out at the last minute because my Dad was admitted to the hospital with a heart condition.
On top of everything she found joy in making fun of me. Jokes about how I was still single and alone and how I hadn't been able to pass my PT boards the first two times. There were comments about my weight and how I should call up my ex boyfriend (Who cheated on me) to see if he was single because he was successful and I'm alone. And the comments weren't made just to me. She announced to everyone at the wedding that one of the bridesmaids (a mutual friend of ours) was pregnant. This friend had already suffered a miscarriage in the past and was not even through her first trimester yet for this pregnancy. She specifically asked the bride not to tell anyone, but she announced it anyway. The poor girl spent the weekend in tears as people kept bringing it up to her all weekend, all the while fearful she would miscarry again.
Anyway, I could go on, but the point is that after the wedding we lost touch. Sometimes we would exchange "Happy Birthday" texts but that's it. Now, it's 4 years later and I am getting married. I hadn't even thought of inviting her, let alone putting her in my bridal party. But then last week I get a text from her wondering why I hadn't contacted her yet. She asked if I had set a date, picked bridesmaid dresses, etc. and she wanted to know all the details. And then she ended the text by saying: "You were such a great maid of honor, and i'm so excited it's my turn to get to return the favor for you. Let me know the plan!"
She had a routine in college of inviting herself to weddings of people we went to school with even if she wasn't invited, but as far as I know this is the first time she's invited herself to be in the wedding.
I truly do not even begin to know how to broach the subject with her. I don't mind inviting her if that will soften the blow, but I really don't want her in my wedding. Help!