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Bridesmaid getting hair done at different salon

MissEastCoastMissEastCoast member
First Anniversary
in Wedding Party
Hi everyone! 

For the day of my wedding, I asked all my bridesmaids if they wanted to get their hair and makeup done with me. I told them it wasn't required at all and completely up to them. Three bridesmaids said yes. One told me she was doing her own hair, and I was fine with that. 

But I've recently found out that the one who said she was doing her own hair is going to a salon that's an hour and a half away. I looked up the prices of that salon and it's slightly more than the one I'm getting my hair done at. 

I had no problem with her not coming to my salon and doing her own hair, but it just hurt me a little that she's going to a different salon and won't be getting ready with us. And I'm concerned that she won't be at our venue on time either (we need to be there at noon). She assures me she will be there on time, but an almost two hour drive in the morning isn't idea. 

If she's getting her hair professionally done, wouldn't a bridesmaid want to get it done with the bride? And should I say something? 

If anyone has any thoughts, I'd love to hear them! 
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Re: Bridesmaid getting hair done at different salon

  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its

    I don't think you should feel hurt by this, though I can understand disappointment.  There are lots of reasons she may not be going to your salon with you all.  Some people are extremely particular about their hair stylist.

    Or, like @flantastic commented, maybe she wants to start her morning off more quietly because the rest of the day is going to be a lot of excitement and fun...but with that comes hectic and non-stop busy.   

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  • ei34ei34 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited July 2017
    The only time I got my hair and MU done with the group I was young (early 20s) and I guess didn't realize I could decline without seeming rude.  But it made the day even longer than it had to be, and I didn't love the way either service had turned out, since I have my own stylists.  Since then, whenever given the choice, I always opt to meet the bride at the venue ready to go.  Nothing against the bride, just a preference.

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  • justsiejustsie member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Agree with PP, maybe she doesn't want to be around everyone all day, or this salon is *her* salon she always goes to, or she knows someone willing to do it for a discount. Who cares, she is going to be at your wedding and is standing next to you as you get married. Believe her when she says she will be on time. 
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  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its

    This is probably her go to stylist.  As a PP said, some people are VERY particular about who touches their hair.  Let this go, friend feels she will be a the venue on time, so why doubt her?

    FWIW, My brother was marrying an hour and half away from where I (and the rest of my family) lived.  I went up on Friday for the RD and then drove home 2 hours (because I took the wrong route!) and got there around midnight.  I then woke up at 5:30 the next morning to be at my stylist's house at 6.  My sister used my stylist too and arrived around 6:30.  We both made it up to the wedding on time and even a little early.  We were given the option to have hair & MU done with the bride, but she lived an hour north of where the RD was, so why drive north for an hour and sleep in a hotel or pull out couch, when I could drive that extra 30 minutes and sleep in my own bed with my now H next to me.

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  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Suggested attitude ....





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  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I prefer to have my stylist do my hair, or to do it myself. I've rarely been happy when a new person does my hair. Maybe your friend is similar? Either way, leave it be. You told her she didn't have to go so she made her own plans. Trust her to be where she needs to be on time. 
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  • redoryxredoryx member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    OliveOilsMom said:

    This is probably her go to stylist.  As a PP said, some people are VERY particular about who touches their hair.  Let this go, friend feels she will be a the venue on time, so why doubt her?

    FWIW, My brother was marrying an hour and half away from where I (and the rest of my family) lived.  I went up on Friday for the RD and then drove home 2 hours (because I took the wrong route!) and got there around midnight.  I then woke up at 5:30 the next morning to be at my stylist's house at 6.  My sister used my stylist too and arrived around 6:30.  We both made it up to the wedding on time and even a little early.  We were given the option to have hair & MU done with the bride, but she lived an hour north of where the RD was, so why drive north for an hour and sleep in a hotel or pull out couch, when I could drive that extra 30 minutes and sleep in my own bed with my now H next to me.

    I'm one of these people. I'm particular about who and, especially, what products are used. 

    OP, I have a question: when you gave the option of doing their own hair, did you envision the bridesmaid doing her hair early and still hanging out with you at the salon while you and everyone else had theirs done? Chances are, even if she wasn't going to the other salon she still wouldn't be hanging out with you in the mornin. 
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  • TrixieJessTrixieJess member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Does she know the stylist? I'm super picky about who does what to my hair and will burn through stylists to find "the one".
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  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    charlotte989875 said:
    I prefer to have my stylist do my hair, or to do it myself. I've rarely been happy when a new person does my hair. Maybe your friend is similar? Either way, leave it be. You told her she didn't have to go so she made her own plans. Trust her to be where she needs to be on time. 
    I feel exactly this way. My hair has always been "meh" when styled by hairdressers hired by my friends for their weddings. On the other hand, when my stylist of 10 years did my hair for my own wedding it looked incredible. I'll happily pay more for my stylist than less for someone who I doubt is going to make me happy. 
    You want happy bridesmaids on your wedding day- let this one go! 
    ________________________________


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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    MissEastCoast said:
    Hi everyone! 

    For the day of my wedding, I asked all my bridesmaids if they wanted to get their hair and makeup done with me. I told them it wasn't required at all and completely up to them. Three bridesmaids said yes. One told me she was doing her own hair, and I was fine with that. 

    But I've recently found out that the one who said she was doing her own hair is going to a salon that's an hour and a half away. I looked up the prices of that salon and it's slightly more than the one I'm getting my hair done at. 

    I had no problem with her not coming to my salon and doing her own hair, but it just hurt me a little that she's going to a different salon and won't be getting ready with us. And I'm concerned that she won't be at our venue on time either (we need to be there at noon). She assures me she will be there on time, but an almost two hour drive in the morning isn't idea. 

    If she's getting her hair professionally done, wouldn't a bridesmaid want to get it done with the bride? And should I say something? 

    If anyone has any thoughts, I'd love to hear them! 
    No.  I choose to get my hair done by specific professionals because of the quality of their work.  And I hate getting ready together- it's actually very stressful.  Too much nervous energy, even if there isn't any actual drama, and in most weddings I have ever been in there was some degree of drama.

    If I'm paying money for a service, I want to enjoy it and for it to be relaxing.

    No, you shouldn't say anything.  She's a grown ass woman- she'll be there if she says she'll be there on time.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    MissEastCoast said:
    Hi everyone! 

    For the day of my wedding, I asked all my bridesmaids if they wanted to get their hair and makeup done with me. I told them it wasn't required at all and completely up to them. Three bridesmaids said yes. One told me she was doing her own hair, and I was fine with that. 

    But I've recently found out that the one who said she was doing her own hair is going to a salon that's an hour and a half away. I looked up the prices of that salon and it's slightly more than the one I'm getting my hair done at. 

    I had no problem with her not coming to my salon and doing her own hair, but it just hurt me a little that she's going to a different salon and won't be getting ready with us. And I'm concerned that she won't be at our venue on time either (we need to be there at noon). She assures me she will be there on time, but an almost two hour drive in the morning isn't idea. 

    If she's getting her hair professionally done, wouldn't a bridesmaid want to get it done with the bride? And should I say something? 

    If anyone has any thoughts, I'd love to hear them! 
    No.  I choose to get my hair done by specific professionals because of the quality of their work.  And I hate getting ready together- it's actually very stressful.  Too much nervous energy, even if there isn't any actual drama, and in most weddings I have ever been in there was some degree of drama.

    If I'm paying money for a service, I want to enjoy it and for it to be relaxing.

    No, you shouldn't say anything.  She's a grown ass woman- she'll be there if she says she'll be there on time.
    For my wedding, my 3 bridesmaids, MIL, mom, and flowergirls (including their moms) got our hair done together.  It was far from relaxing.  Looking back, I wish I had just gotten ready with one or two people (I actually asked one of the stylists to do my flower girls' hair in another room bc their moms were getting on my nerves).

    The next time I was a bridesmaid, I opted to do my hair separately since there were 6 bridesmaids and I wanted to be a bit more relaxed.  The bride is still happily married and still loves me.




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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    holyguacamole79 said:
    PrettyGirlLost said:
    MissEastCoast said:
    Hi everyone! 

    For the day of my wedding, I asked all my bridesmaids if they wanted to get their hair and makeup done with me. I told them it wasn't required at all and completely up to them. Three bridesmaids said yes. One told me she was doing her own hair, and I was fine with that. 

    But I've recently found out that the one who said she was doing her own hair is going to a salon that's an hour and a half away. I looked up the prices of that salon and it's slightly more than the one I'm getting my hair done at. 

    I had no problem with her not coming to my salon and doing her own hair, but it just hurt me a little that she's going to a different salon and won't be getting ready with us. And I'm concerned that she won't be at our venue on time either (we need to be there at noon). She assures me she will be there on time, but an almost two hour drive in the morning isn't idea. 

    If she's getting her hair professionally done, wouldn't a bridesmaid want to get it done with the bride? And should I say something? 

    If anyone has any thoughts, I'd love to hear them! 
    No.  I choose to get my hair done by specific professionals because of the quality of their work.  And I hate getting ready together- it's actually very stressful.  Too much nervous energy, even if there isn't any actual drama, and in most weddings I have ever been in there was some degree of drama.

    If I'm paying money for a service, I want to enjoy it and for it to be relaxing.

    No, you shouldn't say anything.  She's a grown ass woman- she'll be there if she says she'll be there on time.
    For my wedding, my 3 bridesmaids, MIL, mom, and flowergirls (including their moms) got our hair done together.  It was far from relaxing.  Looking back, I wish I had just gotten ready with one or two people (I actually asked one of the stylists to do my flower girls' hair in another room bc their moms were getting on my nerves).

    The next time I was a bridesmaid, I opted to do my hair separately since there were 6 bridesmaids and I wanted to be a bit more relaxed.  The bride is still happily married and still loves me.
    A few years ago I was at my salon on a Saturday for an appointment and there was a Bride, MOB, MOG, and a few BMs in getting their hair done for later that day.

    They were driving everyone in the salon nuts- the other stylists and the other customers; there was a ton of drama and anxiety over pretty much nothing, and they weren't really quiet about it.

    It took all of my personal willpower not to tell the bride to just chill the fuck out and stop micromanaging everyone ><

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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  • ahoyweddingahoywedding member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    When does the ceremony start? Why do you guys need to be there at noon?

    As long as that isn't an arbitrary time frame (if pictures are starting then before an afternoon ceremony, etc), and she assures you she can get there on time, I wouldn't sweat it. As some PPs have said, it can be stressful for some people to get ready with a big crowd, and maybe she would appreciate the moments of quiet before a busy day.
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