Loud guy in coffeehouse - WWYD?

holyguacamole79 · August 2017

So I'm in a small coffeehouse working on my teacher certification. I have my headphones on listening to the audio of the course. There are only 3 customers in here - another woman studying silently, me, and a guy having a long conference call. He's speaking at full volume (and the acoustics do not help). The only thing you can hear (literally) is the soft Sinatra-esque music in the background and this guy having a conference call about a podcast.

WWYD?

I'm tempted to sit next to him and call my ob-gyn to discuss my pap results.

MissKittyDanger · August 2017

Snarkily huff loudly? Try to make a comment about him to someone?

holyguacamole79 · August 2017

here's what I did ... I went and put this in front of him. He apologized and took his stuff outside to finish the call. About 15 minutes later, it started pouring and he came back in. He was polite and quiet and I left not much later for a doctor's appointment.

Ro041 · August 2017

Your handwriting is awesome! Address my invites plz!!!!

holyguacamole79 · August 2017

Ro041 said:

Your handwriting is awesome! Address my invites plz!!!!

Awww thanks. I've been told I have good teacher handwriting.

STARMOON44 · August 2017

I'd do nothing. It's a public place, not a library. If you want quiet it might not be the right spot for you.

holyguacamole79 · August 2017

STARMOON44 said:

I'd do nothing. It's a public place, not a library. If you want quiet it might not be the right spot for you.

My solution worked

MobKaz · August 2017

STARMOON44 said:

I'd do nothing. It's a public place, not a library. If you want quiet it might not be the right spot for you.

I hate when people speak on their phones in public places. I don't want to hear the conversation, and I don't want to pretend as if I cannot hear. However, it is a public place. I would have to agree that as annoying as it might be, I do not and cannot expect public places to be quiet havens for my personal usage."

If I were the conference call guy, depending on my mood, that note would either remind me to take it down a notch, or use it to wipe the table.

ernursej · August 2017

MobKaz said:

STARMOON44 said:

I'd do nothing. It's a public place, not a library. If you want quiet it might not be the right spot for you.

I hate when people speak on their phones in public places. I don't want to hear the conversation, and I don't want to pretend as if I cannot hear. However, it is a public place. I would have to agree that as annoying as it might be, I do not and cannot expect public places to be quiet havens for my personal usage."

If I were the conference call guy, depending on my mood, that note would either remind me to take it down a notch, or use it to wipe the table.

I think that public places that are inside are different than public places that are outside. Inside, I think the onus is on everyone to put others before themselves (i.e. keeping phone calls brief and voices low). Cellphones are hard because it is just a conversation, but I find that people speak far louder than they would if there were talking to a friend right beside them. I think people also get tunnel vision and don't recognize that they are talking for a long time.

I liked the note as you weren't calling him out publicly but still letting him know that his behaviour was impacting you.

STARMOON44 · August 2017

holyguacamole79 said:

STARMOON44 said:

I'd do nothing. It's a public place, not a library. If you want quiet it might not be the right spot for you.

My solution worked

Obviously. But you asked what we would do!

climbingsingle · August 2017

I agree that if you choose to do your work in some place like a coffee shop, loud people are something you're going to encounter. It's not like a library where you're guaranteed a quiet environment. What if a mother came in with loud kids? Would you have asked the kids to quiet down too?

southernbelle0915 · August 2017

Ehhhh.. I think there's a balance between "public space" and "obnoxious volume". Like when people are playing music through the speaker on their phone and not through headphones. I mean, sure, we're in Target, which is basically a public place, but really? You need to listen to "the shape of you" at full volume in the shampoo aisle? Here, take my headphones and use them to prevent asshole behavior in the future. You're welcome.

In guac's situation I think it's ok to ask how long the call would last. Sometimes conference calls are 15 minutes, sometimes 3 hours. It's helping her make a decision on whether to wait it out or relocate.

STARMOON44 · August 2017

southernbelle0915 said:

Ehhhh.. I think there's a balance between "public space" and "obnoxious volume". Like when people are playing music through the speaker on their phone and not through headphones. I mean, sure, we're in Target, which is basically a public place, but really? You need to listen to "the shape of you" at full volume in the shampoo aisle? Here, take my headphones and use them to prevent asshole behavior in the future. You're welcome.

In guac's situation I think it's ok to ask how long the call would last. Sometimes conference calls are 15 minutes, sometimes 3 hours. It's helping her make a decision on whether to wait it out or relocate.

It's just a passive aggressive way of asking him to be quiet. Which I'm so glad for her it worked out but let's not pretend this was a sincere information gathering mission.

holyguacamole79 · August 2017

climbingwife said:

I agree that if you choose to do your work in some place like a coffee shop, loud people are something you're going to encounter. It's not like a library where you're guaranteed a quiet environment. What if a mother came in with loud kids? Would you have asked the kids to quiet down too?

Loud kids are different, IMO. (And there actually was a mom who came in while I was there). The kids were bouncy, but the mom was actually aware and shushed them. But even still, there's a moderate expectation that kids will be kids. one would think that an adult would be more socially aware than to conduct a virtual meeting as though he was in an office.

The thing is, I've been in this place before and it has a quiet, mellow vibe. People are usually reading or chatting quietly. (Which was the case yesterday). Sinatra-esque music is in the background. I was there for several hours and all the patrons (except for this guy) were reading or working quietly. When he walked in, the environment was very quiet. I would expect an adult to have the social awareness to see a setting and not do something to disrupt it.

climbingsingle · August 2017

holyguacamole79 said:

climbingwife said:

I agree that if you choose to do your work in some place like a coffee shop, loud people are something you're going to encounter. It's not like a library where you're guaranteed a quiet environment. What if a mother came in with loud kids? Would you have asked the kids to quiet down too?

Loud kids are different, IMO. (And there actually was a mom who came in while I was there). The kids were bouncy, but the mom was actually aware and shushed them. But even still, there's a moderate expectation that kids will be kids. one would think that an adult would be more socially aware than to conduct a virtual meeting as though he was in an office.

The thing is, I've been in this place before and it has a quiet, mellow vibe. People are usually reading or chatting quietly. (Which was the case yesterday). Sinatra-esque music is in the background. I was there for several hours and all the patrons (except for this guy) were reading or working quietly. When he walked in, the environment was very quiet. I would expect an adult to have the social awareness to see a setting and not do something to disrupt it.

But that's the thing- some people are not socially aware. Hence why you encountered the situation you did yesterday. People use coffee shops like Starbucks as a mobile office. Are you really surprised that someone would be on a call in there?
Yes, it's annoying. But as annoying as it is, that guy has a right to be in the coffee shop as much as you do. It sucks that he has bad manners. But, that's life. If you want a quite place to study, go to the library.

southernbelle0915 · August 2017

STARMOON44 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

Ehhhh.. I think there's a balance between "public space" and "obnoxious volume". Like when people are playing music through the speaker on their phone and not through headphones. I mean, sure, we're in Target, which is basically a public place, but really? You need to listen to "the shape of you" at full volume in the shampoo aisle? Here, take my headphones and use them to prevent asshole behavior in the future. You're welcome.

In guac's situation I think it's ok to ask how long the call would last. Sometimes conference calls are 15 minutes, sometimes 3 hours. It's helping her make a decision on whether to wait it out or relocate.

It's just a passive aggressive way of asking him to be quiet. Which I'm so glad for her it worked out but let's not pretend this was a sincere information gathering mission.

Yea, I think that's a fair assessment.

holyguacamole79 · August 2017

STARMOON44 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

Ehhhh.. I think there's a balance between "public space" and "obnoxious volume". Like when people are playing music through the speaker on their phone and not through headphones. I mean, sure, we're in Target, which is basically a public place, but really? You need to listen to "the shape of you" at full volume in the shampoo aisle? Here, take my headphones and use them to prevent asshole behavior in the future. You're welcome.

In guac's situation I think it's ok to ask how long the call would last. Sometimes conference calls are 15 minutes, sometimes 3 hours. It's helping her make a decision on whether to wait it out or relocate.

It's just a passive aggressive way of asking him to be quiet. Which I'm so glad for her it worked out but let's not pretend this was a sincere information gathering mission.

No, I truly was asking him how long it would be. If he had said, "another hour," I would've thanked him and left.

southernbelle0915 · August 2017

holyguacamole79 said:

STARMOON44 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

Ehhhh.. I think there's a balance between "public space" and "obnoxious volume". Like when people are playing music through the speaker on their phone and not through headphones. I mean, sure, we're in Target, which is basically a public place, but really? You need to listen to "the shape of you" at full volume in the shampoo aisle? Here, take my headphones and use them to prevent asshole behavior in the future. You're welcome.

In guac's situation I think it's ok to ask how long the call would last. Sometimes conference calls are 15 minutes, sometimes 3 hours. It's helping her make a decision on whether to wait it out or relocate.

It's just a passive aggressive way of asking him to be quiet. Which I'm so glad for her it worked out but let's not pretend this was a sincere information gathering mission.

No, I truly was asking him how long it would be. If he had said, "another hour," I would've thanked him and left.

Then why not leave it at "how much longer is your conf call?" Adding "your loud voice is super distracting" does make me think (and obviously him too as he stepped outside) that you're asking him to be quiet.

holyguacamole79 · August 2017

southernbelle0915 said:

holyguacamole79 said:

STARMOON44 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

Ehhhh.. I think there's a balance between "public space" and "obnoxious volume". Like when people are playing music through the speaker on their phone and not through headphones. I mean, sure, we're in Target, which is basically a public place, but really? You need to listen to "the shape of you" at full volume in the shampoo aisle? Here, take my headphones and use them to prevent asshole behavior in the future. You're welcome.

In guac's situation I think it's ok to ask how long the call would last. Sometimes conference calls are 15 minutes, sometimes 3 hours. It's helping her make a decision on whether to wait it out or relocate.

It's just a passive aggressive way of asking him to be quiet. Which I'm so glad for her it worked out but let's not pretend this was a sincere information gathering mission.

No, I truly was asking him how long it would be. If he had said, "another hour," I would've thanked him and left.

Then why not leave it at "how much longer is your conf call?" Adding "your loud voice is super distracting" does make me think (and obviously him too as he stepped outside) that you're asking him to be quiet.

Fair statement.
Etf spelling

holyguacamole79 · August 2017

climbingwife said:

holyguacamole79 said:

climbingwife said:

I agree that if you choose to do your work in some place like a coffee shop, loud people are something you're going to encounter. It's not like a library where you're guaranteed a quiet environment. What if a mother came in with loud kids? Would you have asked the kids to quiet down too?

Loud kids are different, IMO. (And there actually was a mom who came in while I was there). The kids were bouncy, but the mom was actually aware and shushed them. But even still, there's a moderate expectation that kids will be kids. one would think that an adult would be more socially aware than to conduct a virtual meeting as though he was in an office.

The thing is, I've been in this place before and it has a quiet, mellow vibe. People are usually reading or chatting quietly. (Which was the case yesterday). Sinatra-esque music is in the background. I was there for several hours and all the patrons (except for this guy) were reading or working quietly. When he walked in, the environment was very quiet. I would expect an adult to have the social awareness to see a setting and not do something to disrupt it.

But that's the thing- some people are not socially aware. Hence why you encountered the situation you did yesterday. People use coffee shops like Starbucks as a mobile office. Are you really surprised that someone would be on a call in there?
Yes, it's annoying. But as annoying as it is, that guy has a right to be in the coffee shop as much as you do. It sucks that he has bad manners. But, that's life. If you want a quite place to study, go to the library.

I also wanted food... hence not library. Also, this place was geographically convenient since I was directly between my tutoring job and my doctor's appointment. I'm used to Starbucks being louder with people having meetings and used to this place being quiet.

short+sassy · August 2017

A bit off topic, but I find it weird and rude when people use the bathroom while on their cell phone. Not rude to me. But rude to the person they are talking to, lol.

holyguacamole79 · August 2017

short+sassy said:

A bit off topic, but I find it weird and rude when people use the bathroom while on their cell phone. Not rude to me. But rude to the person they are talking to, lol.

funny story ... I used to work from home and would be on conference calls all day. I had recently installed an app on my phone what would help me track how much water I drink and remind me to drink more. I was not aware, though, that the default notification sound for the app was a toilet flushing (NO idea why). I'm on a conf call with my team and forgot to turn my ringer off (usually nbd). So in the middle of this conference call, my phone reminds me to drink more water with the sound of a toilet flushing. Everyone on the call went silent and I had to sheepishly explain what happened and promise that I wasn't on the conference call on the toilet. Oops.

southernbelle0915 · August 2017

short+sassy said:

A bit off topic, but I find it weird and rude when people use the bathroom while on their cell phone. Not rude to me. But rude to the person they are talking to, lol.

There are people in my office who do this in the public restroom. Yuck!

If I wasn't at work, I would want to deploy a giant whoopie cushion and give 5 or 6 courtesy flushes.

ernursej · August 2017

climbingwife said:

I agree that if you choose to do your work in some place like a coffee shop, loud people are something you're going to encounter. It's not like a library where you're guaranteed a quiet environment. What if a mother came in with loud kids? Would you have asked the kids to quiet down too?

All the libraries I go to are loud. They have play spaces for kids and there is a ton of networking going on.

short+sassy · August 2017

I thought of this post over the weekend. I went to the bank on Saturday and a 7-8 year-old child was sitting in the waiting area watching a tv show or movie on either a big phone or a small pad. No headphones. At a bit of a loud volume. Not blaring loud, but even a normal volume would have been too loud for the surroundings. It was just really obnoxious noise to be forced to listen to while I waited in line. Here is what should have happened:

1) Child's parent should have immediately knocked that off. But God forbid anybody in my city give two whits about anybody but themselves and actually be able to see past the nose on their face.

2) A bank manager should have found the parent(s) and asked them to have their child use headphones or turn it way down.

As for me, I wasn't going to be staying there long enough to cause a row and say anything. So I suffered in silence. Unrelated, but I absolutely despise this bank. So their failure at yet something else was felt extra keenly.

Loud guy in coffeehouse - WWYD?

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