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Moms and Maids

Am I being unreasonable about shoes?

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Re: Am I being unreasonable about shoes?

  • Me get a grip? Brides go to this board for advice about what they should or should not be stressed over during this time in their lives, and to vent, not judgement and yelling about how they should get a grip. Im sorry I've offended and ticked off people on this board about micromanaging and shoes. At the particular moment of posting, shoes had stressed me out. In hindsight, it shouldn't have. People don't know everything all at once about wedding planning, but we can certainly learn. All some of us need are kind words of wisdom, not a slap in the face, which is unasked and uncalled for. And it looks like these message boards are ruled by the same four or five very opinionated women. So much for support. 
  • This reminds me of a wedding I was in last year. It was early September, so it was warm weather and the ceremony would be taking place outside with no shade. There were seven bridesmaids, too many opinions. All of the other BMs were short and stating that they were concerned about the price for alterations, the dress wasn't cheap. I suggested shorter dresses. It would remedy the alteration situation and we wouldn't melt so much during the hour outside ceremony. Bride snapped her head at me and said "Well, then we need matching shoes!". Yikes.
    I honestly think she picked us because of how we looked, in similarity to each other. she wanted the long line of cloned BM. I'm not assuming anyone here is doing that, though I don't doubt that idea can cross some brides' mind. 
    I agree with other PP, I doubt you are the only BM that is not thrilled with "light grey flats". 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    short+sassy
  • This reminds me of a wedding I was in last year. It was early September, so it was warm weather and the ceremony would be taking place outside with no shade. There were seven bridesmaids, too many opinions. All of the other BMs were short and stating that they were concerned about the price for alterations, the dress wasn't cheap. I suggested shorter dresses. It would remedy the alteration situation and we wouldn't melt so much during the hour outside ceremony. Bride snapped her head at me and said "Well, then we need matching shoes!". Yikes.
    I honestly think she picked us because of how we looked, in similarity to each other. she wanted the long line of cloned BM. I'm not assuming anyone here is doing that, though I don't doubt that idea can cross some brides' mind. 
    I agree with other PP, I doubt you are the only BM that is not thrilled with "light grey flats". 


    I can understand why the Rockettes all need to be within 1-2" of each other.

    But not bridesmaids, lol!  Oh, goodness.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • MobKaz said:
    When the bride is that demanding specific, then she needs to pay for the shoes.  If the bride makes any additional demands regarding jewelry, hair, or make up, you can decline if it involves your own money.

    I would not bother to inform the bride of your choice.  I cannot imagine the bride will turn you away the day of the wedding if you show up in the right colored shoe with the wrong heel height.  I would almost dare her to notice.

    The next time this "renegade" BM asks a question, offer to help her before the bride can intercede and make another change.
    If she does notice, play dumb. When I was a bridesmaid in my cousin's wedding, I actually did forget that she said to wear ivory shoes and wore silver. I apologized when I realized it (she didn't say anything) and she wasn't upset.
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    MobKaz said:
    When the bride is that demanding specific, then she needs to pay for the shoes.  If the bride makes any additional demands regarding jewelry, hair, or make up, you can decline if it involves your own money.

    I would not bother to inform the bride of your choice.  I cannot imagine the bride will turn you away the day of the wedding if you show up in the right colored shoe with the wrong heel height.  I would almost dare her to notice.

    The next time this "renegade" BM asks a question, offer to help her before the bride can intercede and make another change.
    If she does notice, play dumb. When I was a bridesmaid in my cousin's wedding, I actually did forget that she said to wear ivory shoes and wore silver. I apologized when I realized it (she didn't say anything) and she wasn't upset.
    Hi!  Welcome to The Knot!

    When you respond to a thread, it is helpful to check two dates.  The first is the date this thread began.  This thread was started in August, 2017.  The other date to check is the date of the last response.  Again, in this case, that occurred a YEAR ago.

    This is what is considered a zombie/dead thread.  The original poster is long gone/has resolved the issue. 

    FWIW, I do agree with your suggestion.
    MesmrEweMairePoppyahoywedding
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited August 23
    Did someone say zombie?


                
    nightnerd
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