Customs and Traditions

Father/Daughter Dance - Father Deceased

I am having my godfather/cousin walk me down the aisle. I lost my mother when i was 5 and my father only 3 years ago. I still want to do a father/daughter dance but not sure what song to use. Do I have my godfather pick a song or should I use a song that was meaningful to my father and myself to dance to? Or should we just play the song in memory of him? I do not want to make the wedding a memorial service for my parents but I want to have some kind of reminder that they are there in spirit with me on that day. 

Re: Father/Daughter Dance - Father Deceased

  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs
    5000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    edited August 17
    I am having my godfather/cousin walk me down the aisle. I lost my mother when i was 5 and my father only 3 years ago. I still want to do a father/daughter dance but not sure what song to use. Do I have my godfather pick a song or should I use a song that was meaningful to my father and myself to dance to? Or should we just play the song in memory of him? I do not want to make the wedding a memorial service for my parents but I want to have some kind of reminder that they are there in spirit with me on that day. 

    Have you spoken to your godfather about the dance?  Is this something he wants to do?  Since your dad's passing is fairly recent, this may be more difficult than you realize.

    There are lots of wonderful ways to incorporate subtle reminders of loved ones into your day.  Think of your dad's favorite color or flower and incorporate it into your wedding decor.  You can add one of dad's favorite foods, appetizer, or drink into the menu.  You can play one of his favorite upbeat songs during the reception and dance to it in his memory.  Not making it a spotlight dance will make it a little easier for you and your guests.

    Some brides will add a locket to their bouquet which hold pictures of loved one.  Did you save a tie of his?  Some of that could be used as a wrap around your bouquet as well.

    If you are having a religious ceremony, it can be appropriate to offer a prayer in remembrance of all those who have gone before and no longer here physically to celebrate the day.
    SP29short+sassy
  • I am sorry for your loss.  I think you should NOT do a father-daughter dance.  It is not appropriate under the circumstances.  I get where you are coming from.  My Dad died when I was 15.  I missed him terribly on my wedding day.

    Any memorial touches should be private.  You could carry something belonging to your Dad, but without making a display of it.  Playing his favorite song is OK, but no announcement. 

    I had my grandmother place a flower from my bouquet on Dad's grave, privately, the following day.  No one knew about this except the two of us.
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    InLoveInQueensJediElizabethSP29short+sassy
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    member
    edited October 9
    I am having my godfather/cousin walk me down the aisle. I lost my mother when i was 5 and my father only 3 years ago. I still want to do a father/daughter dance but not sure what song to use. Do I have my godfather pick a song or should I use a song that was meaningful to my father and myself to dance to? Or should we just play the song in memory of him? I do not want to make the wedding a memorial service for my parents but I want to have some kind of reminder that they are there in spirit with me on that day. 

    You can have a dance with your godfather and cousin, but it would not be a "father-daughter dance." I would talk to your godfather about what song to dance to, but the dance needs to be with your godfather in his own right, not as a reminder of your father.

    Unfortunately, because a spotlight dance is very much a "stop what you're doing and pay attention to us" gesture, it's not subtle enough to be an appropriate means of remembering a loved one. There are, however, nice ways to remember loved ones that are subtle enough to include without calling undue attention to your loss. Remember, you don't want to invoke grief and loss on anyone's part, including your own, on what should be a happy occasion.

    Edited to correct typo
    MairePoppyshort+sassy
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