Post wedding depression please help

Knottie2f9fa9b62e90f2eb · August 2017

I didn't fit into my dress that day. Everyone says I looked great but all I see is back fat and rolls. Please be honest in how I look, and give me advice to love my wedding dress. I haven't been able to move on for a whole month.

southernbelle0915 · August 2017

You look really beautiful and it appears (to an outsider anyway) that your dress fits. Strapless dresses tend to make even skinny people have back and armpit rollover and I barely even see that in these photos.

I would advise you to stop looking at and posting pictures of your back if it bothers you. Where are the photos of your face?

Please do be careful in using words like "depression" to describe being disappointed in your body image. If you're actually diagnosed, clinically depressed, fine. But if you're just feeling down about back rolls, words like "blues" or "sad" or "disappointed" are more appropriate.

STARMOON44 · August 2017

You look great. Put your photos away.

missfrodo · August 2017

If the only issue you had with your wedding was how you looked in your dress, relax--you looked beautiful. I second southernbelle in that you need to stop looking at pictures you don't like. Not like you're going to hang a picture of your back in your home, anyway.
If you find yourself suffering from depression for more than two weeks (nothing seems to make you happy, no interest in doing things you normally enjoy, change in appetite, other people have noticed a change in your behavior and are concerned about you, etc), I would make an appointment with your doctor ASAP. Only a health professional can help you, not a board full of internet strangers, and if you are suffering from clinical depression or another illness, you may need to be referred to a therapist/psychologist. From someone who's been there/done that/still there, I wish you the best of luck.

sparklepants41 · August 2017

You look great! I especially love that last photo of you and your husband.

...And remember, he's your husband now! You guys are married! Congratulations!! That's what you should be focusing on - the amazing adventures that await you two in your marriage.

CMGragain · August 2017

Believe me, dear. In 40 years you will look at those pictures and marvel at how thin and young you looked! I should know!

SP29 · August 2017

I think you look great!

Personally, my fav is the one of you and your husband outdoors with the buildings in the background.

As per the back photos, focus on what you like about the photo. Focus on the photos that do not show your back- what makes it a great photo? What makes you look beautiful? How handsome is your husband? What are your expressions?

I do agree- strapless dresses give everyone some back/armpit/upper boob roll. DH and I were getting some additional photos in our wedding clothes. My dress has a corset back, and I got DH to tie it up for me. I *did* tell him to pull it tight so it wouldn't fall down, but I think he pulled it too tight, particularly at the top. It felt fine wearing it. One photo I ordered to be enlarged and printed on metal. The photo is of DH and I sitting on a bench in the park and DH has his arm around me. The images in the online gallery looked great. When the print came, all I could see was this back roll (!) probably because of how tight the dress was and DH's hand smooshing my skin. I still *see* it, and it does bother me, but I tell myself it's just skin. Then I choose to look at the rest of the photo- the vibrant colours of the leaves, the overall pose, and what DH looks like.

climbingsingle · August 2017

I had some of that with my strapless dress too. That's pretty common. Stop focusing on this. I'm sure there were many aspects of your day that were amazing, and you probably have a lot of great pictures too. Move on.

Honestly, the fact that you've been focusing on this for a whole month seems quite concerning. You looked great in your dress, and when you look back on your pictures in a few years, you'll think you were crazy for spending so much time being depressed over this.

MairePoppy · August 2017

CMGragain said:

Believe me, dear. In 40 years you will look at those pictures and marvel at how thin and young you looked! I should know!

So true. We are so hard on ourselves. I was looking at a family photo from my daughter's shower. At the time, I thought I ruined the pic of all the women in my family. When I look at it now, I think I looked pretty good and very happy.

OP, you look beautiful in those photos. I wouldn't have noticed the minimal back fat if you hadn't asked about it. If it still bothers you a year from now, which I doubt, you could pick a favorite photo and have the photographer smooth out your back. I suspect you will look at the pictures, though, and think they are perfect the way they are.

LadyCatherineDB · September 2017

You look stunning in these photos. They show off your long, thin neck; your hair that still looked great while you were twirling; and, most importantly, your husband, who clearly couldn't take his eyes off of you.

MobKaz · September 2017

Can I just say how quick we are to blame our body when it is the fashion choice creating the issue?

You did not have back fat. You wore a dress that forced skin up and over an intentionally tight band. The tight band was a fashion necessity to prevent you from flashing guests all night.

On any given morning, depending on the pants I select, my waistline can change from slim and sleek to slight roll to complete muffin top. My weight did not change, the size of my waistline did not increase. The CLOTHING made the difference.

You looked lovely. Quite honestly, move on. You no longer need to love your dress. Focus on the significance of the day, the look on your faces, and the lives you are building. If you want depressing and/or perspective, think Houston.

CMGragain · September 2017

One of the good things about being old is that I can remember strapless dresses in the 1950's. No way would I wear one again! They do look pretty on brides, though.

lovesclimbing · September 2017

MobKaz said:

Can I just say how quick we are to blame our body when it is the fashion choice creating the issue?

You did not have back fat. You wore a dress that forced skin up and over an intentionally tight band. The tight band was a fashion necessity to prevent you from flashing guests all night.

On any given morning, depending on the pants I select, my waistline can change from slim and sleek to slight roll to complete muffin top. My weight did not change, the size of my waistline did not increase. The CLOTHING made the difference.

You looked lovely. Quite honestly, move on. You no longer need to love your dress. Focus on the significance of the day, the look on your faces, and the lives you are building. If you want depressing and/or perspective, think Houston.

I have to agree with mobkaz, particularly the bolded. You look nice, and I probably wouldn't have paid attention to it if you hadn't said anything. Choose photos where you can't see your back to frame and put in your album.

Strapless are simply one of the most difficult to wear and potentially unflattering necklines out there, and it baffles me why they are so prevalent and popular for wedding dresses.

Post wedding depression please help

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