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Need to rant: Deceased husband honored at new wedding...

augustgirl21augustgirl21 member
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in Chit Chat

I went to my friends wedding a few weeks ago and was texting one of my other friends the entire night with how odd this wedding was!!!

This is her second marriage. Her first husband was in the marines and killed overseas about 5 years ago.  Very sad obviously especially for their kids

His best friend and her leaned on each other a lot after and became very close. They ended up falling in love and got married. Slightly odd but everyone's happy.

This wedding was bigger/fancier than her first which I just find slightly odd for a second wedding but whatever.

Here's where it gets weird...

They had a full table memorial dedicated to her deceased husband!! A "reserved" seat for him upfront with his picture on it! His favorite drink served at the reception. And included in their written vows how he brought them together!!

I literally felt like it was a 2nd funeral services for this guy and they decided to get married in the middle of it!!

Please tell me I'm not the only one who think this is INCREDIBLY odd!!!  

 

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Re: Need to rant: Deceased husband honored at new wedding...

  • kwiksilverkwiksilver member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    Weddings are not the time or place for memorials. I don't understand why people are obsessed with that these days.
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited September 2017
    That's really over the top. I suppose the couple was trying to show they both loved the dearly departed husband.  
                       
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  • augustgirl21augustgirl21 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment

    @Cmgragain Yes thank you!!! It was incredibly uncomfortable!! She was crying during her vows about how much she missed her first husband "but thankfully she had new husband to lean on and help her though her grief"

    It was so odd. I fully expect to be crying during my wedding but tears of joy and happiness not sadness over deceased love ones!  

     

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  • SP29SP29 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I was thinking the same kwiksilver. Being over the top to ease some guilt (?) or others' feelings that they have gotten together (which I don't think is weird at all).

    But agreed, not appropriate, and I could see how that would make a lot of people feel uncomfortable.
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  • MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Having small mentions of those who passed is one thing, and the chair thing was made popular after Prince William and Kate had an empty seat for Princess Diana at their wedding.
    Small mentions - in speech as a brief mention, or table with photos {we had my dad, both grandfathers and my husband's grandfather in photos} by the guest book.


    Everyone's different, but I personally would be uncomfortable with the way the wedding went like OP mentioned.
    Maybe they did it out of guilt? Like "we got together, and yeh we feel bad but X person would happy we're together" kind of deal? {I'm thinking "P.S I love you" idea btw}
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  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    augustgirl21 said:

    I went to my friends wedding a few weeks ago and was texting one of my other friends the entire night with how odd this wedding was!!!

    This is her second marriage. Her first husband was in the marines and killed overseas about 5 years ago.  Very sad obviously especially for their kids

    His best friend and her leaned on each other a lot after and became very close. They ended up falling in love and got married. Slightly odd but everyone's happy.

    This wedding was bigger/fancier than her first which I just find slightly odd for a second wedding but whatever.

    Here's where it gets weird...

    They had a full table memorial dedicated to her deceased husband!! A "reserved" seat for him upfront with his picture on it! His favorite drink served at the reception. And included in their written vows how he brought them together!!

    I literally felt like it was a 2nd funeral services for this guy and they decided to get married in the middle of it!!

    Please tell me I'm not the only one who think this is INCREDIBLY odd!!!  

    Maybe they were trying to fend off judgement because TBH the bolded sounds pretty judgy to me. People fall in love with who they fall it love with, and can have any wedding they choose. And I don't think it's all that strange under the circumstances. 

    Sure, this is way more that what anyone here would recommend, but my guess it's because they're worried about judgement. Or, you know, they miss him.
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  • nassyv12nassyv12 member
    Name Dropper First Comment 5 Love Its
    I really hope none of his family hear about it... I mean if they didn't know about it...

    I mean marrying the widow of your best friend can be a touchy subject as it is but a memorial of that scale at the wedding to your best friends widow seems a bit over board and could hurt the family a lot more that the match itself because we all know that even thought they'll be happy for the bride and groom finding love again after such a tragedy there will be a fair bit of side eye about it anyway.

    Hopefully this has brought them both closure though and they don't do it for every celebration. I mean imagin if they continue it for any future childrens Christening ( or other religious milestones if they are that way inclined)/ birthdays/ graduations/ weddings etc.
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  • AmandaKessAmandaKess member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Very strange. Sounds like they might have some guilt over getting together?
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    I’m sure that they had their reasons like to try to avoid judgement or whatever. But dude that is SO inappropriate and bizarre. 
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited February 2018
    @bridetobe19-2, this was an old inactive thread.

    We prefer that if a thread hasn't been posted on for months, you start a new one.
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