Vow help

Re: Vow help

• artbyallie mod

  

  September 2017

  Knottie3da9957acc47b3c9 said:

  This is my first draft
  
  

  Christopher, as Dr Suess said "When we find someone whose mutual weirdness is compatible with ours" we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love". That's exactly what we are and our love is. 

  
  

  You're my best friend, the only one i want to spend all my days with. You're empathetic, sweet,funny, and charming. 

  
  

  
  

  I've dreamed of this moment forever. I have been totally head over heels in love with you since our first date. 

  
  None of that is vows. IMO vows should not be love letters because love letters are best kept private.
  
  

  I promise to always be there, to love you always, to respect you, to obey you, and to always be your best friend, through the hard, the easy, through illness and good health, I'll always be by your side for all of eternity. 

  Your last paragraph says all you really need to say (and I'm a fan of keeping it short and sweet). Are you positive, though, that you want to vow to obey your husband? That's generally not required in the present day and many people cringe at the idea as it's reflective of millennia of oppressive patriarchy when women were basically property. It is, of course, still up to you, but perhaps he should also vow to obey you to keep things egalitarian.

  

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• Knottie3da9957acc47b3c9 member

  

  September 2017

  artbyallie said:

  Knottie3da9957acc47b3c9 said:

  This is my first draft
  
  

  Christopher, as Dr Suess said "When we find someone whose mutual weirdness is compatible with ours" we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love". That's exactly what we are and our love is. 

  
  

  You're my best friend, the only one i want to spend all my days with. You're empathetic, sweet,funny, and charming. 

  
  

  
  

  I've dreamed of this moment forever. I have been totally head over heels in love with you since our first date. 

  
  None of that is vows. IMO vows should not be love letters because love letters are best kept private.
  
  

  I promise to always be there, to love you always, to respect you, to obey you, and to always be your best friend, through the hard, the easy, through illness and good health, I'll always be by your side for all of eternity. 

  Your last paragraph says all you really need to say (and I'm a fan of keeping it short and sweet). Are you positive, though, that you want to vow to obey your husband? That's generally not required in the present day and many people cringe at the idea as it's reflective of millennia of oppressive patriarchy when women were basically property. It is, of course, still up to you, but perhaps he should also vow to obey you to keep things egalitarian.
  
  Can't figure out how to properly reply but even though i don't know his, i know that his is basically formatted the same and what was suggested to me from tips on writing vows (regarding the top portion). 
  
  We have personal reasons for obey being in mine and not his.

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• MobKaz member

  

  September 2017

  Knottie3da9957acc47b3c9 said:

  artbyallie said:

  Knottie3da9957acc47b3c9 said:

  This is my first draft
  
  

  Christopher, as Dr Suess said "When we find someone whose mutual weirdness is compatible with ours" we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love". That's exactly what we are and our love is. 

  
  

  You're my best friend, the only one i want to spend all my days with. You're empathetic, sweet,funny, and charming. 

  
  

  
  

  I've dreamed of this moment forever. I have been totally head over heels in love with you since our first date. 

  
  None of that is vows. IMO vows should not be love letters because love letters are best kept private.
  
  

  I promise to always be there, to love you always, to respect you, to obey you, and to always be your best friend, through the hard, the easy, through illness and good health, I'll always be by your side for all of eternity. 

  Your last paragraph says all you really need to say (and I'm a fan of keeping it short and sweet). Are you positive, though, that you want to vow to obey your husband? That's generally not required in the present day and many people cringe at the idea as it's reflective of millennia of oppressive patriarchy when women were basically property. It is, of course, still up to you, but perhaps he should also vow to obey you to keep things egalitarian.
  
  Can't figure out how to properly reply but even though i don't know his, i know that his is basically formatted the same and what was suggested to me from tips on writing vows (regarding the top portion). 
  
  We have personal reasons for obey being in mine and not his.

  How exactly do you want us to help you?
  
  If you want to reply directly to someone, hit the quote button and begin your response outside/underneath  the shaded area.
  

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• artbyallie mod

  

  September 2017

  Knottie3da9957acc47b3c9 said:

  artbyallie said:

  Knottie3da9957acc47b3c9 said:

  This is my first draft
  
  

  Christopher, as Dr Suess said "When we find someone whose mutual weirdness is compatible with ours" we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love". That's exactly what we are and our love is. 

  
  

  You're my best friend, the only one i want to spend all my days with. You're empathetic, sweet,funny, and charming. 

  
  

  
  

  I've dreamed of this moment forever. I have been totally head over heels in love with you since our first date. 

  
  None of that is vows. IMO vows should not be love letters because love letters are best kept private.
  
  

  I promise to always be there, to love you always, to respect you, to obey you, and to always be your best friend, through the hard, the easy, through illness and good health, I'll always be by your side for all of eternity. 

  Your last paragraph says all you really need to say (and I'm a fan of keeping it short and sweet). Are you positive, though, that you want to vow to obey your husband? That's generally not required in the present day and many people cringe at the idea as it's reflective of millennia of oppressive patriarchy when women were basically property. It is, of course, still up to you, but perhaps he should also vow to obey you to keep things egalitarian.
  
  Can't figure out how to properly reply but even though i don't know his, i know that his is basically formatted the same and what was suggested to me from tips on writing vows (regarding the top portion). 
  
  We have personal reasons for obey being in mine and not his.

  The tips misled you, then, because vows are promises. Only your last paragraph contains vows.
  
  If your reasons for obey are religious in nature, I would be very surprised if your faith/church permitted writing your own vows, but you do you. I'm just sharing my opinions because your post invited people to do so.

  

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• JediElizabeth member

  

  September 2017

  Knottie3da9957acc47b3c9 said:

  This is my first draft
  
  

  Christopher, as Dr Suess said "When we find someone whose mutual weirdness is compatible with ours" we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love". That's exactly what we are and our love is. 

  
  

  You're my best friend, the only one i want to spend all my days with. You're empathetic, sweet, funny, and charming. 

  
  

  I've dreamed of this moment forever. I have been totally head over heels in love with you since our first date x years ago. 

  
  

  I promise to always be there, to love you always, to respect you, to obey you, and to always be your best friend, through the hard, the easy, through illness and good health, I'll always be by your side for all of eternity. 

  I think your first 3 paragraphs are mostly fine, personally, though that's a controversial opinion here. As long as the introduction isn't TOO personal, and it takes less than a minute to get through, I like the loving parts of vows. As a guest, it's why I prefer to hear personal vows.
  
  That said, I would edit the first bolded sentence a bit to make it more personal - he's all these things, but what does that have to do with you as a couple? Something like "Your empathy makes me feel [whatever you want], you always know just how to make me laugh, and after all this time I'm still taken in by your charm." If you're going to open up with something like this, I'd advise to make it about both of you and your connection. I also added a suggestion to add in a time frame, if you like.
  
  As for the third bolded, far be it from me to tell anyone that they shouldn't make the choices that they feel is right for them. As a stranger with zero background in your life or relationship, though, I'd suggest thinking long and hard about that before making it part of life-long vows.
  
  The phrase "for all of eternity" is difficult to put into vows, unless you're part of a religion that says marriage vows last beyond death. You can't make promises about any kind of afterlife. I would suggest something like, "I'll always be by your side for this life, and [hope/pray/whatever] to remain there in [whatever afterlife you believe in]." Or just keep it to this life - as that's what you have the power to promise without divine help.
  

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• Jen4948 member

  

  September 2017

  I promise to always be there, to love you always, to respect you, to obey you, and to always be your best friend, through the hard, the easy, through illness and good health, I'll always be by your side
  
  This is good by itself. I would not promise to obey my spouse, who is supposed to be my partner, not my boss or parent.
  

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• southernbelle0915 mod

  

  September 2017 edited September 2017

  Knottie3da9957acc47b3c9 said:

  This is my first draft
  
  

  Christopher, as Dr Suess said "When we find someone whose mutual weirdness is compatible with ours" we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love". That's exactly what we are and our love is. 

  
  

  You're my best friend, the only one i want to spend all my days with. You're empathetic, sweet, funny, and charming. 

  
  

  I've dreamed of this moment forever. I have been totally head over heels in love with you since our first date. 

  
  

  I promise to always always be there, to love you always, to respect you, to obey you, and to always be your best friend. I promise to be there for you through the hard times, the easy fun times, and through illness and good health. I'll will always be by your side for all of eternity. 

  So I have zero issue with a couple taking 15 seconds to say something sweet to their partner before they say their actual vows (your last paragraph). No, it's not part of your vows, but it's your wedding ceremony and if you want to tell your partner how much you love them, when's a better time? So edits.....
  
  I removed the first paragraph because it sets a really awkward tone and seems kind of (and I mean this respectfully), too immature to be in wedding vows.
  
  If you're set on "I've dreamed of this moment forever", move it to the very top. The current placement is choppy and awkward. 
  
  The word always is majorly overused and redundant with words like "eternity" and another "always" in the same sentence. I fixed that and the run-on sentence. I also clarified "the hard" and "the easy" because there is no subject = incomplete sentence. 
  
  I also took out obey because, not only do I agree with @artbyallie and @Jen4948's reasoning, but in your response, you said it's in your vows but not his. Whaaaaat? Nope. 

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