I HATE a groomsman's girlfriend

[Deleted User] · September 2017

So my fiance originally told me that he didn't want attendants. I was fine with it, but now he wants groomsmen. I compromised and said yes, but he wants our EMS partner as a groomsman, which I said was fine; we both volunteer with a local rescue squad, which runs emergency medical services calls.

I told him that I have no intention of inviting our partner's girlfriend; I absolutely LOATHE her. She is exceedingly insecure, and very immature. I am friends with both of them on FB, and she had the nerve to message me, and fuss at me for tagging him in things. Nothing of which was EVER inappropriate. So I have since respected her wishes. But we were on shift one night, and he told us of how she had been fussing at him the entire time because he was on shift instead of spending time with her. I kid you not, she wanted him to resign his position on the rescue squad because it took time away from her!

She is only 18, and he is about to be 21, and on this particular night, we had just run a call where two young men had died in a horrific car accident. Her constant texting and calling was affecting his performance at that point, so we tried to have a discussion with him about her behavior, as it was unacceptable. This caused a fight on a nuclear level, and I told him everything that I had been holding back about her. Since then, I have apologized to him, and have steered clear of her. She seems to be avoiding me as well.

My fiance says that I have to invite her, but I disagree. I have explained to him, countless times I might add, why I refuse to invite her. I don't trust the little witch to not cause a scene if things don't go her way. Do I HAVE to invite her?

kwiksilver · September 2017

Yes. All significant others are REQUIRED to be invited. And it's polite to sit them together, regardless of him being in the wedding party. You will be so distracted I promise you won't even notice her.

MairePoppy · September 2017

Yes. Your fi is right.

[Deleted User] · September 2017

Would it be distasteful if I ask him for a sincere apology on her part first? She has caused problems in my own relationship because of her past behavior, and I have been the "bigger person" on almost every occasion, accommodating her as much as possible, reaching out to her, etc., all of which has been thrown back in my face. Since we are paying for every wedding expense ourselves, I feel like I shouldn't have to include someone that won't be missed if she isn't there.

climbingsingle · September 2017

You absolutely have to invite her. Your FI is correct.

And no, you cannot ask her for an apology? What did she do to you? This is such childish drama. Butt out of their relationship.

[Deleted User] · September 2017

She dragged my name into it, by telling him that he isn't allowed around me, even on shift, which is of course ridiculous. And this was before we ever had any kind of disagreement, or confrontation. And as I was a witness to her horrid behavior, and as it affects our patient care, which can sometimes mean the difference between life and death, it's unavoidable. He's my friend too by the way, and actively tries to sabotage my fiance and our partner's friendship even.

charlotte989875 · September 2017

nmvaladanzouj said:

So my fiance originally told me that he didn't want attendants. I was fine with it, but now he wants groomsmen. I compromised and said yes, but he wants our EMS partner as a groomsman, which I said was fine; we both volunteer with a local rescue squad, which runs emergency medical services calls.

I told him that I have no intention of inviting our partner's girlfriend; I absolutely LOATHE her. She is exceedingly insecure, and very immature. I am friends with both of them on FB, and she had the nerve to message me, and fuss at me for tagging him in things. Nothing of which was EVER inappropriate. So I have since respected her wishes. But we were on shift one night, and he told us of how she had been fussing at him the entire time because he was on shift instead of spending time with her. I kid you not, she wanted him to resign his position on the rescue squad because it took time away from her!

She is only 18, and he is about to be 21, and on this particular night, we had just run a call where two young men had died in a horrific car accident. Her constant texting and calling was affecting his performance at that point, so we tried to have a discussion with him about her behavior, as it was unacceptable. This caused a fight on a nuclear level, and I told him everything that I had been holding back about her. Since then, I have apologized to him, and have steered clear of her. She seems to be avoiding me as well.

My fiance says that I have to invite her, but I disagree. I have explained to him, countless times I might add, why I refuse to invite her. I don't trust the little witch to not cause a scene if things don't go her way. Do I HAVE to invite her?

nmvaladanzouj said:

Would it be distasteful if I ask him for a sincere apology on her part first? She has caused problems in my own relationship because of her past behavior, and I have been the "bigger person" on almost every occasion, accommodating her as much as possible, reaching out to her, etc., all of which has been thrown back in my face. Since we are paying for every wedding expense ourselves, I feel like I shouldn't have to include someone that won't be missed if she isn't there.

Your FI is right, you need to invite her. This groomsmas has chosen to have her in his life, and unless she has been physical violent or threatening, you need to invite her. And no, you can't ask him to apologize for her. You don't have to reach out to her, be accommodating, or even be friends with this woman, but you do have to respect your friend enough to invite the woman he has chosen to be with. Asking for an apology when really, it doesn't like she's done anything personally offensive to you (asking you not to tag him, sure it's annoying, and a little odd, but it was a request, and you could choose to do it, or not, but it's not something she would need to apologize for).

The bolded sounds like you are blurring the lines between your personal and professional relationship with this guy, to a point where it's inappropriate. I get that people have personal friendships outside of work (I have many), but by blowing up on him, at work, about your personal feelings for her is inappropriate. Handle the work issues (i.e. if he's texting when he shouldn't be, on the phone when he shouldn't be, whatever) as work issues, and the personal issues as personal issues.

Also, you'll probably barely interact with her at all, and hardly notice she's there.

STARMOON44 · September 2017

nmvaladanzouj said:

She dragged my name into it, by telling him that he isn't allowed around me, even on shift, which is of course ridiculous. And this was before we ever had any kind of disagreement, or confrontation. And as I was a witness to her horrid behavior, and as it affects our patient care, which can sometimes mean the difference between life and death, it's unavoidable. He's my friend too by the way, and actively tries to sabotage my fiance and our partner's friendship even.

No. Her behavior has nothing to do with patient care. Only his does. If he is not doing a good job treating patients because he chooses to look at his phone, the problem is with him.

You have to invite her. And stop creating so much drama.

climbingsingle · September 2017

nmvaladanzouj said:

She dragged my name into it, by telling him that he isn't allowed around me, even on shift, which is of course ridiculous. And this was before we ever had any kind of disagreement, or confrontation. And as I was a witness to her horrid behavior, and as it affects our patient care, which can sometimes mean the difference between life and death, it's unavoidable. He's my friend too by the way, and actively tries to sabotage my fiance and our partner's friendship even.

He is the one affecting patient care. Not her. Again, this is some really petty and childish drama. You don't have to like her, but you can't not invite a groomsman's girlfriend.

charlotte989875 · September 2017

nmvaladanzouj said:

She dragged my name into it, by telling him that he isn't allowed around me, even on shift, which is of course ridiculous. And this was before we ever had any kind of disagreement, or confrontation. And as I was a witness to her horrid behavior, and as it affects our patient care, which can sometimes mean the difference between life and death, it's unavoidable. He's my friend too by the way, and actively tries to sabotage my fiance and our partner's friendship even.

He's making choices to let her behavior affect his work, and you should absolutely address his work, but at work. It's not her doing this, it's him choosing to respond/be distracted/whatever.

I get that he's your friend too, and that right now you disagree with his choice of partner. But you still need to respect him enough that he has decided to have this person in his life.

short+sassy · September 2017

nmvaladanzouj said:

Would it be distasteful if I ask him for a sincere apology on her part first? She has caused problems in my own relationship because of her past behavior, and I have been the "bigger person" on almost every occasion, accommodating her as much as possible, reaching out to her, etc., all of which has been thrown back in my face. Since we are paying for every wedding expense ourselves, I feel like I shouldn't have to include someone that won't be missed if she isn't there.

I supposed you could, though I doubt it would do any good. I think it will just worsen the situation. And it should definitely have NOTHING to do with her being included on his invitation.

Here's the deal. To not include someone's SO on a wedding invitation, is just about the rudest thing you can do. This isn't a matter of "oh, you just don't want her there", this will cause irreparable damage...if not ruin...the friendship between your FI and one of his closest friends. Your FI understands that, hence why he is insisting she be included on the invitation. It's his wedding too.

Think about the reverse situation. What if this GM asked your FI to be in his wedding...but then gave him instructions that YOU weren't invited to the wedding because his g/f doesn't like you. Sounds insanely rude, doesn't it? Because it is. And your FI would be a jerk if he didn't immediately drop out of the wedding and refuse to attend.

I know emotions can feel super heightened while wedding planning. But truly, truly...she is not going to ruin your wedding in the slightest. You will barely notice she is there. You and your (by then) H will give her a big smile, thank her for coming, and move on to your other guests. That's about the only brief interaction you need to have with her.

If you're worried she'll cause a scene, alert security to this possibility and she will promptly be escorted out if she does that.

flantastic · September 2017

nmvaladanzouj said:

She dragged my name into it, by telling him that he isn't allowed around me, even on shift, which is of course ridiculous. And this was before we ever had any kind of disagreement, or confrontation. And as I was a witness to her horrid behavior, and as it affects our patient care, which can sometimes mean the difference between life and death, it's unavoidable. He's my friend too by the way, and actively tries to sabotage my fiance and our partner's friendship even.

It sounds like he doesn't know how to put his phone away and be professional, not that it's her fault. That may be something to confront him about on a professional, coworker level, but you made it out to be her fault, which it isn't, and in that case you sort of created this drama with her specifically. On work time, it sounds like, too.

nmvaladanzouj said:

Would it be distasteful if I ask him for a sincere apology on her part first? She has caused problems in my own relationship because of her past behavior, and I have been the "bigger person" on almost every occasion, accommodating her as much as possible, reaching out to her, etc., all of which has been thrown back in my face. Since we are paying for every wedding expense ourselves, I feel like I shouldn't have to include someone that won't be missed if she isn't there.

She will be missed - by her significant other. That's why significant others are required to be invited. It's a necessary courtesy to the people you do know well and care about being there.

kwiksilver · September 2017

nmvaladanzouj said:

Would it be distasteful if I ask him for a sincere apology on her part first? She has caused problems in my own relationship because of her past behavior, and I have been the "bigger person" on almost every occasion, accommodating her as much as possible, reaching out to her, etc., all of which has been thrown back in my face. Since we are paying for every wedding expense ourselves, I feel like I shouldn't have to include someone that won't be missed if she isn't there.

It doesn't matter who is paying. You have to invite her, that's the bottom line. Not a single person here is going to tell you it's ok not to invite her. She doesn't have to apologize in order to "earn an invite". And obviously her boyfriend WILL miss her, so your last bit there isn't even true. I would never attend an event my spouse wasn't invited to, so you're basically uninviting your friend if you decide to exclude her.

[Deleted User] · September 2017

I have never once "butted" into their relationship. The one time my partner and I had a fight about her, was because he asked for advice about his relationship the night that we ended up having a major argument. He was the one who got upset when my fiance and I both told him that her behavior was not appropriate, and that he needed to stop talking to her for the rest of the shift since she was causing trouble. She kept calling him however, and he kept answering her texts and calls. He even told us that he was distracted on the call because of her, and that he couldn't focus on what he was supposed to be doing. He insulted my relationship with my fiance, and myself, and that's when I let loose about her. Which consisted of saying that she is immature and insecure, with examples of how and when, when he asked. Wow, so terrible.

When we are on shift together, we get along just fine actually, unless she bothers him. I have always held my tongue, except for that one night. He has since admitted that her behavior is not acceptable, but doesn't know what to do about it. I don't say anything to him. We've been to dinner with them several times, and attempted to be more friendly with her, thinking she just felt awkward or left out. But she is rude to my fiance as well, so we know that it's not me causing any kind of trouble.

I have no interest in anything to do with their relationship, so to say that I am causing drama is absolute BS. My fiance hasn't told him that he wants him to be a groomsman yet, mainly because of this issue. He says we should invite her as a formality. But he doesn't really want her there either.

STARMOON44 · September 2017

nmvaladanzouj said:

I have never once "butted" into their relationship. The one time my partner and I had a fight about her, was because he asked for advice about his relationship the night that we ended up having a major argument. He was the one who got upset when my fiance and I both told him that her behavior was not appropriate, and that he needed to stop talking to her for the rest of the shift since she was causing trouble. She kept calling him however, and he kept answering her texts and calls. He even told us that he was distracted on the call because of her, and that he couldn't focus on what he was supposed to be doing. He insulted my relationship with my fiance, and myself, and that's when I let loose about her. Which consisted of saying that she is immature and insecure, with examples of how and when, when he asked. Wow, so terrible.

When we are on shift together, we get along just fine actually, unless she bothers him. I have always held my tongue, except for that one night. He has since admitted that her behavior is not acceptable, but doesn't know what to do about it. I don't say anything to him. We've been to dinner with them several times, and attempted to be more friendly with her, thinking she just felt awkward or left out. But she is rude to my fiance as well, so we know that it's not me causing any kind of trouble.

I have no interest in anything to do with their relationship, so to say that I am causing drama is absolute BS. My fiance hasn't told him that he wants him to be a groomsman yet, mainly because of this issue. He says we should invite her as a formality. But he doesn't really want her there either.

You coworker is doing a bad job. His behavior is not acceptable.

[Deleted User] · September 2017

I don't want to fight with you guys. I also don't want anyone to be upset, so if he asks our partner to be a groomsman, I will invite her as well. But I take the liberty of asking them to leave if she begins to become troublesome. Is that acceptable?

climbingsingle · September 2017

Your friend is the one that is letting this affect his job. He doesn't have to answer his phone, or text her back. Do you really not see that he is allowing this? HE is the one affecting patient care. He clearly is pretty immature, if he's unable to help a patient because he's too busy texting his girlfriend.

You've got no issue with this girl. Your issue should be with your coworker letting this affect his/your job.

aurianna · September 2017

Also, I want to mention that if you're inviting this co-worker, you'd need to invite his girlfriend whether he was a groomsman or not.

All guests, bridal party or not, need to have their significant other invited by name.

Just throwing that out there since your post reads kind of like you thought this wasn't going to be an issue until he got promoted to groomsman.

I recommend doing a sweetheart table or a king's table (just you, MoH, BM and their SOs) at the reception. That way you can seat the GM and his gf elsewhere so you don't have to interact with her at dinner.

That way aside from greeting her in the receiving line or table greets and thanking her from coming there's probably no other interaction you'll need with this woman.

In the off-chance she hangs around during pictures, the photographer can likely keep things moving in a way that you won't have time to talk to her. You could also mitigate it further by doing first-look pictures with just you and your fiancee so that there are less pictures to take with the whole group standing around.

I had to invite a few SOs I did not like to my wedding. I spent about 90 seconds total talking to them on the day. It was fine.

LondonLisa · September 2017

nmvaladanzouj said:

I have never once "butted" into their relationship. The one time my partner and I had a fight about her, was because he asked for advice about his relationship the night that we ended up having a major argument. He was the one who got upset when my fiance and I both told him that her behavior was not appropriate, and that he needed to stop talking to her for the rest of the shift since she was causing trouble. She kept calling him however, and he kept answering her texts and calls. He even told us that he was distracted on the call because of her, and that he couldn't focus on what he was supposed to be doing. He insulted my relationship with my fiance, and myself, and that's when I let loose about her. Which consisted of saying that she is immature and insecure, with examples of how and when, when he asked. Wow, so terrible.

When we are on shift together, we get along just fine actually, unless she bothers him. I have always held my tongue, except for that one night. He has since admitted that her behavior is not acceptable, but doesn't know what to do about it. I don't say anything to him. We've been to dinner with them several times, and attempted to be more friendly with her, thinking she just felt awkward or left out. But she is rude to my fiance as well, so we know that it's not me causing any kind of trouble.

I have no interest in anything to do with their relationship, so to say that I am causing drama is absolute BS. My fiance hasn't told him that he wants him to be a groomsman yet, mainly because of this issue. He says we should invite her as a formality. But he doesn't really want her there either.

Uhhhhhh, going on a rant to a friend about how terrible their girlfriend is, is the definition of butting into their relationship and drama-causing.

Honestly, why does it even bother you so much what goes on in their relationship? It is none of your business. Why does it matter if she wants him to quit- its not your business. If she calls and texts so much to the point where he can't do his job, his supervisor needs to step in. Why does it affect you so much? You can professionally ask someone in a work setting to stop using their phones, but you ranting about his partner is so out of line!

Why is it always the people who 'hate drama' end up in such ridiculous, petty situations.

Here is a good piece of advice: everyone hates drama. But the least dramatic people don't get involved in an attempt to control others (what you are doing). They just set healthy, clear boundaries, remove themselves from situations without comment, and ignore everything else. They don't gossip and they recognise that annoying people can have zero affect on you.

My Advice:
- Yes, you absolutely must invite her. Your reasons not to are immature and petty.
- Stop 'loathing' people for just being annoying. Her perceived crimes against you are silly and petty.
- Stay in your lane and stop inserting yourself in other people's lives. His relationship has the square root of eff-all to do with your life.
- Learn how to approach people about professional issues without bringing in personal issues. Professional issue= John, please put your phone away because we need to focus on work. I find it distracting when we need to focus on the job. Can we come to an agreement about when we can use mobiles on the job?
Personal issue: John, please put your phone away because your GF is the worst.

LondonLisa · September 2017

nmvaladanzouj said:

I don't want to fight with you guys. I also don't want anyone to be upset, so if he asks our partner to be a groomsman, I will invite her as well. But I take the liberty of asking them to leave if she begins to become troublesome. Is that acceptable?

What goes on between his GF and him is NONE.OF.YOUR.BUSINESS!

You are giving this woman SO much power over you, your feelings and your life. Like, I bet if she sneezed during the ceremony you would kick off about how she ruined it. You don't like her, that is allowed. But you aren't allowed to be petty and immature.

I spoke with some people I genuinely LOVE at my wedding for maybe 2 minutes maximum. Why are you giving her SO much power that you are going to monitor her? On your wedding day! Why are you letting her occupy SO much space in your mind? Like, chill the eff out and enjoy your wedding.

lyndausvi · September 2017

Your co-worker might be a friend, but he is a shitty co-worker. IMO you are mad at the wrong person. He is the one who is allowing her to affect his work. He is the one who has to set the boundaries. He is the one who has to turn of the phone and/or not respond to her. These things need to be addressed at work issues.

As other said, you need to invite her. I foresee more drama not inviting her than less drama.

climbingsingle · September 2017

What kind of "trouble" are you expecting her to cause at the wedding?

Take it from many people that have actually planned and been through a wedding - you most likely won't even notice she's there.

banana468 · September 2017

You need to invite her. If there's legitimate trouble caused at your reception then tell venue management that they're allowed to ask troubling guests to be removed.

I hated a GM's girlfriend too. We didn't like each other in college, she spied in me (actually unscrewed my dorm room peep hole to look into my room and see what I was doing while laying on my bed) and tried stick herself in the middle of my relationship with DH when we were first dating. She was also the ex-GF of another guest (and they didn't have a good break-up) and was a former roommate of another guest and stiffed him on several months rent. She wasn't liked by A LOT of people. I didn't want her at my wedding.

But she was invited, attended and all was fine. Quite frankly, I look back and smile knowing that I looked gracious as she was welcomed and eventually the relationship fizzled.

holyguacamole79 · September 2017

nicgetsknotted · September 2017

I have a patient related job as well, and guess what? For my entire twelve hour shift, except my breaks, my phone is locked in my locker. This guy needs to check his priorities and find a new job if he can't get off the phone. There's too much at stake.

In terms of the drama, I would urge you to consider that you are only hearing the story from one side. Yes he is your friend, but I wouldn't automatically assume she is the entire problem. It often takes two to create drama. If he stopped answering her texts and left her be for his shift she would have either calmed down by the time he got home or left him. If she does the latter she's not the right woman for him anyway.

The only part of this that is your business is how it is affecting your work and your patients, other than that, you will get a less worked up if you just stay out of it. People who do are much happier in their own lives, I promise.

And yes, you must invite her to the wedding. A day meant to celebrate your love and commitment should not be a forum in which to disrespect and discredit the love and commitment of others. In a way, doing so sullys the very idea of what you are choosing to honor on your wedding day.

[Deleted User] · September 2017

Thank you for responding politely. We have to have our phones on us, because that is how we receive our pages. If he doesn't answer her texts or calls, she will keep calling and texting non-stop until he answers. And since he has to have his phone on him, he has no choice but to be subject to her.

I know her personally as well. We were good friends at first, messaging each other almost everyday, and making plans to hang out. But once my partner called me pretty in front of her, she did a complete 180. We have no interest in each other outside of work. We used to all go out to dinner and do social things together, but once he called me pretty, she put a stop to all of that. So now, I don't talk or interact with him outside of work. I don't talk or interact with her either.

She doesn't like if my fiance' spends any time with our partner either. I can honestly say that I don't know if she will even allow him to be a groomsman. I was just hoping that there would be some way that I could not invite her. But I guess I should have known better.

kwiksilver · September 2017

nmvaladanzouj said:

Thank you for responding politely. We have to have our phones on us, because that is how we receive our pages. If he doesn't answer her texts or calls, she will keep calling and texting non-stop until he answers. And since he has to have his phone on him, he has no choice but to be subject to her.

I know her personally as well. We were good friends at first, messaging each other almost everyday, and making plans to hang out. But once my partner called me pretty in front of her, she did a complete 180. We have no interest in each other outside of work. We used to all go out to dinner and do social things together, but once he called me pretty, she put a stop to all of that. So now, I don't talk or interact with him outside of work. I don't talk or interact with her either.

She doesn't like if my fiance' spends any time with our partner either. I can honestly say that I don't know if she will even allow him to be a groomsman. I was just hoping that there would be some way that I could not invite her. But I guess I should have known better.

She sounds like my horrible SIL (who I dislike but still invited to our wedding because she's married to my H's twin brother) and for that, I feel your pain. We all used to share a house, but she became insanely jealous of how well her husband and I got along and they ended up moving out secretly while H and I were away for the weekend, leaving us in a lease we couldn't afford.

So, I get it. They messed us up financially and it took over a year to recover. I didn't want either of them there, but I couldn't NOT invite them. I said maybe 3 words to them all weekend and that was fine.

If if this girl is being so controlling and isolating it will be better for your friend if you can keep being in his life. Women can be abusers, and if she's trying to isolate him, that's a bad sign. Put up with her, be gracious, and hopefully he will eventually see on his own that she's not a good match for him.

nicgetsknotted · September 2017

nmvaladanzouj said:

Thank you for responding politely. We have to have our phones on us, because that is how we receive our pages. If he doesn't answer her texts or calls, she will keep calling and texting non-stop until he answers. And since he has to have his phone on him, he has no choice but to be subject to her.

I know her personally as well. We were good friends at first, messaging each other almost everyday, and making plans to hang out. But once my partner called me pretty in front of her, she did a complete 180. We have no interest in each other outside of work. We used to all go out to dinner and do social things together, but once he called me pretty, she put a stop to all of that. So now, I don't talk or interact with him outside of work. I don't talk or interact with her either.

She doesn't like if my fiance' spends any time with our partner either. I can honestly say that I don't know if she will even allow him to be a groomsman. I was just hoping that there would be some way that I could not invite her. But I guess I should have known better.

Most phones have a 'Do not disturb' function that can be turned on and off and applied to specific people. If he really didn't want to hear from her he would figure it out. I go back to this maybe being a two person issue. Sounds like he feeds off this drama a bit.

You will be glad you were the bigger person and invited her. He will be happy to have her there and like other people said, you won't even notice beyond saying a quick thank you for attending. Then once your wedding is passed you won't be continuing to deal with the drama of not having her there. It'll be over and done with and you can move on.

PrettyGirlLost · September 2017

nmvaladanzouj said:

She is only 18, and he is about to be 21, and on this particular night, we had just run a call where two young men had died in a horrific car accident. Her constant texting and calling was affecting his performance at that point, so we tried to have a discussion with him about her behavior, as it was unacceptable. This caused a fight on a nuclear level, and I told him everything that I had been holding back about her. Since then, I have apologized to him, and have steered clear of her. She seems to be avoiding me as well.

My fiance says that I have to invite her, but I disagree. I have explained to him, countless times I might add, why I refuse to invite her. I don't trust the little witch to not cause a scene if things don't go her way. Do I HAVE to invite her?

UM. . . Why the hell was HE checking his phone/responding to personal texts and calls while on the job? Turn that shit off if you're an EMT!

The discussion should have been with him about how his behavior was unacceptable. Either he needs to learn how to be an adult and use the Do Not Disturb function on his phone, or just ignore her calls and texts, or tell her she needs to knock the shit off while he's at work and then continue to ignore her calls and texts, or he needs a work only phone. . . and if he can't figure any of this out on his own, then he needs to quit being an EMT.

He can't be putting other people's lives at risk just because he's immature and in an immature relationship.

Stop blaming the GF for your coworker's bad behavior- he needs to accept responsibility for his own actions and his own part in fueling a drama filled relationship.

AND unfortunately, you have to invite his SO to your wedding. It would be beyond rude and classless not to do so.

[Deleted User] · September 2017

We have to have our phones on, because that is how we receive our pages; we live in a rural area, and this is the best that they can accomplish. He doesn't answer the phone on calls, but does once we're done with them. I've had a discussion with him about his behavior. Unfortunately, it was also during the same discussion that turned into a fight. He's gotten a lot better about it since then though. And even though he has asked her not to text or call him while he is on shift, she does it anyway. I want to get along with her so badly, but I just can't anymore.

lyndausvi · September 2017

nmvaladanzouj said:

We have to have our phones on, because that is how we receive our pages; we live in a rural area, and this is the best that they can accomplish. He doesn't answer the phone on calls, but does once we're done with them. I've had a discussion with him about his behavior. Unfortunately, it was also during the same discussion that turned into a fight. He's gotten a lot better about it since then though. And even though he has asked her not to text or call him while he is on shift, she does it anyway. I want to get along with her so badly, but I just can't anymore.

She can text all day, but he doesn't have to respond.

True story. He can use the DND option. He can put her texts messages/calls on silent. Is it going to be hard in the beginning? Sure, but she will get use to him not being able to contact her during shifts after a while. If she can't, then she is not the one for him.

I go some 12 hours without talking to my husband at work. NBD. I don't see him most nights for dinner. Again, NBD. The reason it took so long for him to get married is because most women are not happy with this arrangement.

I HATE a groomsman's girlfriend

Re: I HATE a groomsman's girlfriend

Choose Another Board

Search Boards