Wedding 911

WEDDING IS IN 12 DAYS AND I FEEL LIKE I HAVE FORGOTTEN TO DO SOMETHING???

So the wedding is coming up really fast. I have this aching feeling that I have forgotten something. I have been ridculous with the lists and stuff but I go over and over it. I am not missing anything, but why do I feel like this? 

I am sure it can't be something huge if in the last week i cannot remember what is was that I forgot. Any suggestions? 

Re: WEDDING IS IN 12 DAYS AND I FEEL LIKE I HAVE FORGOTTEN TO DO SOMETHING???

  • As long as everything is in place to a) get you legally married (officiant, paperwork, witness if necessary) and b) host your guests appropriately, let anything else go as unimportant.
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    ernursejcharlotte989875short+sassySP29
  • Do you have an officiant? Marriage license? Seats for all your guests? Enough food & drink?  If so, you're good!

    I know how you feel though, I always feel like I'm forgetting something. Honestly, unless it's something like food (lol), your guests probably won't even know it was supposed to have been there in the first place. Take a deep breath, have a drink & snuggle with your FI. You're almost married!
    ernursejshort+sassySP29
  • Others have the big stuff covered. Some details I think couples sometimes forget is to ensure they have tip envelopes and cash/checks for appropriate vendors, a plan for packing up/transporting any personal items (signs, vases, guest book, gifts, extra favors, etc.) home, a plan for cleaning up flowers (some people donate to hospitals/nursing homes), and timelines for all the VIPs so they know when to be where/don't miss anything. 
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    short+sassyOliveOilsMomsparklepants41
  • Others have the big stuff covered. Some details I think couples sometimes forget is to ensure they have tip envelopes and cash/checks for appropriate vendors, a plan for packing up/transporting any personal items (signs, vases, guest book, gifts, extra favors, etc.) home, a plan for cleaning up flowers (some people donate to hospitals/nursing homes), and timelines for all the VIPs so they know when to be where/don't miss anything. 
    This brings to mind a question... Our venue charges a "service fee" and the contract does not specify the purpose of that.  What vendors are typically tipped and how much?
  • I felt like this constantly for the couple weeks before the wedding.  It didn't help I got married OOT, so that was another big layer of things I might "forget".

    I had weird dreams during that time.  Often centered around forgetting something.

    I must have checked for my wallet, driver's license, wedding gown, WP gifts.  Counted our bags.  Dozens and dozens of times the morning we were leaving.  And in the cab.  Waiting for the plane.  On the plane.  At the departure airport.  At the arrival airport.  LMAO.

    I knew my mind was in hyperdrive for no reason, but I couldn't help myself.  I tried to "steer into the curve" and go with it.  That actually helped.  I limited my "list" to a shorter one with the most important items, that I memorized.  I'd picture the items and where they were or count them 1-2-3-4-5.  Whenever I started worrying or felt antsy.  The repetition of the exercise helped to quiet my mind.

    I hadn't forgotten anything.  Everything was fine, lol.  It's a fun, but stressful time.  I think my mind just needed to focus on something specific to worry about.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • We forgot H's ring and had to go back for it when we were halfway to the venue.  I think my MOH made me a bouquet of fake flowers that I completely forgot existed until after the wedding.  Also, as a person who almost never wears makeup, I had bought special lipstick just for the wedding and left that at home, having to borrow some from an aunt who happened to have some on her (since my mother and MOH don't wear any, either).  Chances are, you're going to forget something, but with all the stuff that's going on, you probably won't even realize it until after the fact, so it won't matter all that much.  As PPs have said, as long as you have a location, food and seats for your guests, someone to marry you, and your FI, everything else is gravy.  Yes, it might look awkward if you go to exchange rings and don't have them, but it will just be a funny story to tell later on.  Sure, it would suck to forget the 100+ cookie favors you individually wrapped the week before (or whatever else you put time and money into), but chances are your guests won't even notice.  
    charlotte989875
  • Others have the big stuff covered. Some details I think couples sometimes forget is to ensure they have tip envelopes and cash/checks for appropriate vendors, a plan for packing up/transporting any personal items (signs, vases, guest book, gifts, extra favors, etc.) home, a plan for cleaning up flowers (some people donate to hospitals/nursing homes), and timelines for all the VIPs so they know when to be where/don't miss anything. 
    This brings to mind a question... Our venue charges a "service fee" and the contract does not specify the purpose of that.  What vendors are typically tipped and how much?
    It depends on the vendor, who owns the business, etc. If you're literally renting space I have no idea what a service fee would be for? Maybe the venue coordinator? You can (and should!) always ask about line items on your bill.

    We did not tip our venue. We just paid the fee to rent the space with the tables and chairs. There was *kind of* a venue coordinator, but this person basically made sure the place was unlocked and the lights were on. She didn't help with coordination or planning - we hired a day of coordinator for that. 
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    image
  • Others have the big stuff covered. Some details I think couples sometimes forget is to ensure they have tip envelopes and cash/checks for appropriate vendors, a plan for packing up/transporting any personal items (signs, vases, guest book, gifts, extra favors, etc.) home, a plan for cleaning up flowers (some people donate to hospitals/nursing homes), and timelines for all the VIPs so they know when to be where/don't miss anything. 
    This brings to mind a question... Our venue charges a "service fee" and the contract does not specify the purpose of that.  What vendors are typically tipped and how much?
    It depends on the vendor, who owns the business, etc. If you're literally renting space I have no idea what a service fee would be for? Maybe the venue coordinator? You can (and should!) always ask about line items on your bill.

    We did not tip our venue. We just paid the fee to rent the space with the tables and chairs. There was *kind of* a venue coordinator, but this person basically made sure the place was unlocked and the lights were on. She didn't help with coordination or planning - we hired a day of coordinator for that. 
    Ok.... the venue does mostly everything.  We had to rent linens/chairs but otherwise they do the foot, the bar, we have a "coordinator-ish" although they don't call her that but she will basically be doing that.  That is what I assume the service fee goes toward.  The contract isn't clear but I hadn't asked because I thought we talked about it when we booked (like 2 years ago... ).  Our photographer owns the business,  but our DJ does not.  Bartenders are with the venue but valet is not.  I probably should have figured this part out sooner....
  • Others have the big stuff covered. Some details I think couples sometimes forget is to ensure they have tip envelopes and cash/checks for appropriate vendors, a plan for packing up/transporting any personal items (signs, vases, guest book, gifts, extra favors, etc.) home, a plan for cleaning up flowers (some people donate to hospitals/nursing homes), and timelines for all the VIPs so they know when to be where/don't miss anything. 
    This brings to mind a question... Our venue charges a "service fee" and the contract does not specify the purpose of that.  What vendors are typically tipped and how much?
    It depends on the vendor, who owns the business, etc. If you're literally renting space I have no idea what a service fee would be for? Maybe the venue coordinator? You can (and should!) always ask about line items on your bill.

    We did not tip our venue. We just paid the fee to rent the space with the tables and chairs. There was *kind of* a venue coordinator, but this person basically made sure the place was unlocked and the lights were on. She didn't help with coordination or planning - we hired a day of coordinator for that. 
    Ok.... the venue does mostly everything.  We had to rent linens/chairs but otherwise they do the foot, the bar, we have a "coordinator-ish" although they don't call her that but she will basically be doing that.  That is what I assume the service fee goes toward.  The contract isn't clear but I hadn't asked because I thought we talked about it when we booked (like 2 years ago... ).  Our photographer owns the business,  but our DJ does not.  Bartenders are with the venue but valet is not.  I probably should have figured this part out sooner....
    It's ok.  

    If the photog owns his own business, you wouldn't generally tip. But if you get your photos back a few months after the wedding and you feel compelled to give him more money feel free. If your DJ keeps the dance floor packed, I'd give him a good tip. Cash is good so you can adjust the amount as needed.

    Depending on what the venue says about what's included in the venue service fee, you can decide accordingly. Usually you would tip on the food total (like you do at a restaurant) and you would tip the bartender (like you do at the bar). I don't think it's typical to tip a venue coordinator unless they go above and beyond what you expect them to do. 
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    charlotte989875MandTFebruary62011lovesclimbing
  • SP29SP29
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    Just ask your venue what the service fee includes.

    Our venue had one price for everything, so we wouldn't be able to split up a number based on food and bar, however, our venue included a gratuity, so that covered that.
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