Wedding Woes

Thursdayyyyyyyy

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Re: Thursdayyyyyyyy

  • DD is only 7 months, so I don't think she has reached asshole status yet! LOL!

    But this is the hardest thing I've ever done.  The first 6 weeks were the absolute worst.  So not only are you dealing with your own pain and healing after your delivery (regardless of C-section or pushing the old fashioned way) you now have the added bonus of completely caring for a tiny human that can do nothing for themselves!  Your hormones are worse after delivery, than during pregnancy (at least for me).  But if you are BFing, you need to worry about producing enough milk for your child to regain the weight they lose after birth.  There were so many times I couldn't put into words how I was feeling when H would ask me if I was ok or what was wrong. 

    Once you find your rhythm, things start to get better.  I also know I have it good because DD is such a happy and good baby.  God Bless the parents who have to put up with a colicky or acid reflux-y baby or one who only sleeps when being held!

    Something I do miss, is not being able to just pack up and go.  It takes double or triple the amount of time to go anywhere.  I've also not gone places because I'm not sure on logistics of me caring for DD while there.  For example, a few weeks ago, there was a huge craft fair in a town nearby.  I wanted to check it out, but H was working.  I would have been fine attending by myself with DD, but I didn't know where to park (I'm not too familiar with the town) or how far I would have to walk to the fair once I finally found parking.  The website for the fair was no help, so I just skipped it.

    FIL always used to say "It's not a vacation if the kids come", we will find out just how true that is when we go away at the end of the month!  LOL

    All that said, I love DD with everything that I am.  It is truly amazing to see how her development (from 7 wk ultrasound) to her 17 lb self that she is now.  How one day, she suddenly had hand/eye coordination.  How she has a huge smile on her face, when I come home after work because Mom's home! Don't even get me started on baby giggles!

    So looking towards the second one, all I can think about is how we were disasters on no sleep last time. I mean, it's gonna be so, so heartwarming to see DD interact with the new baby and she'll be so wonderful with him/her sometimes, but she's also gonna be jealous, and I'm going to be a short-tempered disaster with her when she's going through some emotional WHAT IS MY PLACE IN THE WORLD, and it's going to be mostly HARD.

    I'm sure it's also going to be totally worth it or we wouldn't have done it, but I am not going into this with any illusions, nor will I gloss it over for people if they ask, nor do I think I'm the first person ever to have dealt with this, nor will I judge anyone for not feeling like they want to deal with that.

    But DD and the other kid will come with me to stuff I want to do, or wait while I drink my coffee once they're each old enough (DD has been for about 8 months), and deal. And we'll do some things that are just for them, and deal, and maybe be surprised by how fun it can be if we're trying to be present with them, but oftentimes just deal. And DH and I will do things apart and together that are just for us.
  • Question to mama's {kids and pets!}

    When you were naming them, what did you consider?
    How did you agree on names?
    Was there a name you wanted but other didn't want? {and vice versa}?
    Did you want family in the name? {why/why not?}
  • Question to mama's {kids and pets!}

    When you were naming them, what did you consider?
    How did you agree on names?
    Was there a name you wanted but other didn't want? {and vice versa}?
    Did you want family in the name? {why/why not?}
    DH and I had names come up, maybe before we were even engaged, and at that point we realized we both had thought of and really liked DD's name. So then when we found out she was a girl, the first name was pretty easy.

    My dad's side of the family has a traditional middle name for the oldest girl in the family, and I would have been on board with that, because I like it (it's also my middle name). I would not, however, have felt any pressure to follow it. DH didn't want to use it as a middle name because he also likes it and didn't want to "waste" it on DD's middle name in case we wanted to use it as a first name for a future girl.

    So finding a middle name was just a matter of figuring out what we liked - that was the first consideration, and then if it had some connection to family that was a bonus. DD's middle name ended up being related to a place that was special to me growing up (and where we got married), and is similar to my mom's name. My mom hates her name, so she would have been mad if we used her actual name, but this worked as sort of a tribute. But we would have just thrown it out if it wasn't pretty - those were just bonus reasons.

    Boy names are way harder. 1) There are fewer that we like, and we just throw them out if one of us doesn't like them. 2) All the male family names in our family are totally used up by the nieces and nephews, and we don't like duplicates for the confusion.

    I think I'm bringing DH around to the one boy name I definitely keep coming back to. I have a zillion reasons why I like it, and DH likes the name itself - his only hesitation is that it's my HS boyfriend's name. (None of the reasons have to do with the HS boyfriend.) I think he's getting over that. He doesn't have one in particular that he seems drawn to, so the fact that I have anything specific at all is helpful.
  • @flantastic We're trying to get ideas for names and the two I've suggested, aren't striking M's fancy. Original boy name we have to change because everyoneeee has that name - so we're sufficing it as middle name.

    Names are hard lol especially when you realize you both need to agree :P 
  • Question to mama's {kids and pets!}

    When you were naming them, what did you consider?
    How did you agree on names?
    Was there a name you wanted but other didn't want? {and vice versa}?
    Did you want family in the name? {why/why not?}
    We waited until probably month 5 or 6 to even start thinking about it so we didn't over-think it for too long. I knew I wanted the middle name to be a family name from my side and DH didn't care what I chose. As far as the first name, we bought a baby book from Barnes and Noble, starred a few things and were like.... "that one? yea...that one."
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  • @MissKittyDanger - Just both of you make a list. If you run across people, look through lists, and see a name where you think, "I could see that," then write it down. At some point when you feel like you've seen a lot, come together and discuss and see if there's any overlap. Obviously, if there are some you'd rank really high, say that.

    It's kind of amazing - I feel like I'm tapped out on names. I had my list from DD of about 40 names or so, and every time I see a name now and think "Oh, I forgot about that one, maybe I'll add that," more than half the time it turns out to be on there already. If DH hasn't made his own list at some point, we can work off mine - i.e., okay these are the options, let's choose.
  • @holyguacamole79 Go Astros! Enjoy the game.
  • @charlotte989875 fingers crossed for your house!!!

    Funeral for H”s aunt today. Wake was nice and it was good to see members of H’s family despite the circumstances. Babypants and I skipped the mass and we all skipped the family gathering after. I’ve been under the weather since Sunday (dizzy, nauseous, lethargic, and achy) and the past few nights Babypants has only been sleeping 2-3 hours rather than the 4-6 she had been sleeping for a few weeks prior. I’ve heard this means she’s hitting another developmental milestone but in the meantime I am Wiped Out. 
  • @sparklepants41 how old is babypants? The 4 month regression hit us hard
  • kvruns said:
    @sparklepants41 how old is babypants? The 4 month regression hit us hard
    She’s 9 weeks. I’ve heard the 4 month regression is brutal. This is the first real sleep regression I’m going through and it’s no picnic. Refresh my memory - how old is your LO?
  • kvruns said:
    @sparklepants41 how old is babypants? The 4 month regression hit us hard
    She’s 9 weeks. I’ve heard the 4 month regression is brutal. This is the first real sleep regression I’m going through and it’s no picnic. Refresh my memory - how old is your LO?
    He's 10 months. Mine was a shitty sleeper at first and finally got him trained so then i felt like every regression felt so bad because I had gotten used to getting good sleep.  It is a lot easier to deal with a regression when you've been dealing with bad sleep anyway
  • @Lala9414 - FIVE baby showers? come onnnn.....that's highway robbery.
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  • Question to mama's {kids and pets!}

    When you were naming them, what did you consider?
    How did you agree on names?
    Was there a name you wanted but other didn't want? {and vice versa}?
    Did you want family in the name? {why/why not?}

    Thanks for including pet moms, lol.  Though I realize not as momentous.

    Name stories

    Nip (the cat) -- I thought it would be funny to name a cat Nip.  Like their favorite plant.  My H liked the name because she was born without a tail, so he thought of it as Fate/God "NIPping" her tail off.  I side-eye him for his version but, either way, we both agreed on Nip, lol.

    Izzifur Ignatious (the dog) -- Izzy for short.  We adopted her from the pound and her name was already Izzy.  We thought about changing it, but decided that the name Izzy was cute and little...just like her.  Well, she's not tiny, she's 20 lbs.  One day, my H was mildly annoyed at something she did, but more joking mad.  And he said something like, "Izzifur Ignatious!  What do you think you're doing?"  Elongating her first name and adding a pompous sounding middle name...usually a male name, but she is a girl...just tickled both our funny bones.  So we decided that her full name was truly meant to be Izzifur Ignatious.

    Though I did point out the similar ending sound between my full first name...Jennifer.  And the elongated first name he came up with for her...Izzifur.  Except he usually calls me Jenny and only uses Jennifer when he is joking mad.  Also.  Mmmm, hmmm. 

    ------------------------------------------------------

    Speaking of, my mom and dad knew I was a girl and were trying to decide between Jennifer and Janelle.  My mom, who has a beautiful voice and loves to sing, put the nod to Jennifer.  Because there was a famous opera singer in the 1860s named Jennifer Lynn.  She was the Swedish Nightingale.  And yes, my middle name is Lynn also.

    As an aside, Jennifer was the most popular name for girls from 1970-1990.  I was born in 1973.  My mom has SWORN to me many times that she swears it was a fairly unusual name when she named me Jennifer, lol.  So, yeah, be careful of those "cool, new sounding names".  Because there will be 5 of those kids in your child's class, lol.

    Now, I almost think of Jennifer as being a "dated" name.  Jennifers are '80s girls!  AmIright?  Either because we were born in the '80s or that's the first kind of music we remember, lol.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • H was very picky about the dog's name. Like, weirdly so. He took dayssss to come up with it after we knew we were bringing him home. He finally named him Charlie Kelley because he's kind of a goofy lovable idiot. 
  • @short+sassy  of course I included pet moms :)
    I'm giggling at Izzifur Ignatious :) My mum has named Penny "Penelope Garcia" {even though her real name is Penny, I just go with it ;)}
  • @short+sassy  of course I included pet moms :)
    I'm giggling at Izzifur Ignatious :) My mum has named Penny "Penelope Garcia" {even though her real name is Penny, I just go with it ;)}
    Penelope Garcia is a character on Criminal Minds.  She is their "hacker" IT person.  She is flamboyant with her dress, accessories, and knick knacks on her desk.  A very colorful person.  Literally, lol.
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  • We were still dating when randomly H threw out that our first male child will be a Third.  He is a junior.  We had never really talked about kids yet at that point!  I'm not a fan of numbered people, so I didn't mention it then, but did once I was pregnant.

    We talked about names before we found out the gender.  We settled on a boys name.  It would be H's first name, but a different middle name.  The potential boy would go by his first two initials.  I had a girls name, a combo of our mom's names, but H didn't like it.  We didn't discuss it further because "what if the baby's a boy?" we have a name picked out.  Of course, it was a girl!  So we would just throw out random names at times.  We came to a set of 10 names we liked and paired them together differently.  I eventually settled on DD's name and mentioned it to H.  He agreed, but we kept it secret because so many people said they changed their baby name because it "didn't fit them" once they arrived.  After she was born, I turned to H and said "We made that!"  and then another minute later, I turned back to H and said that's First Middle Last (the name we agreed on) and he shook his head yes.

    For my pup, it was easy.  That was her name from the foster network and I just found it so adorable.  I did add her middle name of Oil.  We always gave our dogs middle names, so I needed to add one.  I thought about Olive Martini for a bit, but it didn't go with my last name! LOL!

  • CharmedPamCharmedPam member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited October 2017
    I have one dog, Milo, who came with that name but as far as past pets go:

    white bird - beauty, because she was 
    blue bird - pockits (because I was trying to be super cool in spelling pockets) 
    black poodle - Barney (I think he came with that name? maybe I named him after the dinosaur, no idea)
    calico cat - Billy (came with that name, named after Bill Clinton - and this was from a Canadian family too LOL)
    beagle - Daisey (just a name that popped in my head)
    gray cat - Ash (named after a character from an L.J.Smith book I was reading)
    gray cat #2 - Moses (came with that name)
    black cat - Samhain (black cat = Halloween.  Halloween = Samhain. it was a no brainer for me. He was born in August but I got him in October)

    In my old age, I'm coming to the conclusion that I'm just not an animal person anymore.  I'm not home enough and the responsibility & the clean up is to much for me.  H hasn't come to the conclusion yet, but he's the same way. 

  • I've always thought Pickles would be a cute name for a pet.

    I want to get a rescue Frenchie.  And name it Pickles.  But my H will have none of it.  Though his objection is to a second dog, not the name.

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  • @southernbelle0915 it really is because his 1st 3 kids were ALL girls. The 4th was his first boy and now this baby is his second boy. I'm side eyeing this so hard. I don't even want to go lol
  • No kids of my own, but FSD is named after two of her great-grandmothers.

    Oliver was named after Oliver Twist because he was always hungry as a kitten and had this absolutely winning expression (still does at age 16). His name was originally Bullwinkle, and his littermate (sadly, I lost him to kidney failure at age 10) was named Rocky. 

    Sam was named Sammy when I adopted him, but when he was six months old, I decided he needed a more grown-up name.

    Mouse was originally named Zoshka (a Polish form of Sophie). When we adopted her, FW said, “I can’t pronounce Zoshka, and I think it would be cute to name a cat Mouse.” It fit her because she had a very squeaky meow and hadn’t quite grown into her ears.

    Moose went through several name changes. The high-kill shelter he was pulled from named him Grizzly, the APL here in Cleveland changed his name to Spencer, and FW’s friend who adopted him but couldn’t keep him named him Bo. He was briefly Boe, after the Face of Boe from “Doctor Who.” Our former housemate started calling him a moose because of his strength and stubbornness, and one day he started answering to it.
  • kimmi, the fencesitter relationship thing is hard  BT, DT, although I think we were flipped around a bit.
    (people assumed the Mr. would 'come around', and...in part, he did, but we didn't pull the goalie until we were both on board here.  And, since the no's always win in case of a tie, it kinda has made a choice about Buffy 2.0 moot :)
    But I can at least preach that finding an agreement sucks, but isn't impossible.  ANd I do have a bias that my kid is awesome, but I also ended dinner tonight with "take a bite.  NO, a BITE.  put food on your fork and in your mouth.  Now chew.  CHEW.  CHEW.  Ok, now one more bite".  Win some loose some.

    For names, ugh, so hard.
    The pets we go with short and easy to shout.  For some reason, this has meant we'veended up with 4 letter names for all of them, and now I think it's just how it's done--we keepthem all 4 letters form here on out.

    Buffy was hard.  WOrking in education means there's a lot of "nope, I knew a kid with that name".  We narrowed it down and each had full veto rights over anything that we HATED on e/os lists.
    I was still holding out for a family name that I didn't get to use.  *sigh*.
    I hope one of my sisters has a girl and does.
  • @short+sassy  of course I included pet moms :)
    I'm giggling at Izzifur Ignatious :) My mum has named Penny "Penelope Garcia" {even though her real name is Penny, I just go with it ;)}
    Penelope Garcia is a character on Criminal Minds.  She is their "hacker" IT person.  She is flamboyant with her dress, accessories, and knick knacks on her desk.  A very colorful person.  Literally, lol.
    I know who she is, I just mock the fact my mum decided that was Penny's name lol {actually she's named after Big Bang Theory because I call our cat 'strawberry blonde' since she's a light tabby}
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