Ugh

Ro041 · October 2017

@southernbelle0915 I loved your comment for the cotton headed ninny muggins part. Ha.

My ugh is that FI and I argued about how his parents (no $ for the wedding) are demanding we invite every extended family member because "you have to" and "they won't come anyway" and it put us above capacity. I finally conceded after telling him it makes us look gift grabby, they don't get a say, I am not doing this with my family etc but told him, in no uncertain terms, that if they RSVP yes and we are put above our capacity, he is paying for a new venue and new invitations to notify the attendees. And I am paying for nothing more than what we agreed to.

missJeanLouise · October 2017

kvruns said:

missJeanLouise said:

My ugh is that it is almost my bedtime and NO Prudie!!?

Today is Wednesday

D'OH!!

kvruns · October 2017

CharmedPam said:

100% on your side with this. I see where you are coming from. I'm so glad IL isn't like that. I bought my house before i was married, and even before meeting him (actually right about the same time)! I have paid every single penny into this house, he has not contributed anything to it, nor have I helped him with his living expenses (remember, we're weird and live apart)

When H took out the loan for our new condo, I didn't want to be put on it since I had my own house. This is his. I mean technically, both our places are "ours" but I have the house, he has the condo. When we met with the loan officer and told him I'm staying off the loan, he had no problems with it.

I'm being nosy and feel free not to answer, but how does that work with taxes since I imagine you can only claim one primary residence for mortgage deductions etc

OliveOilsMom · October 2017

S+S - I can't be on a mortgage right now from the short sale of my first home bought at the height of the market. When we purchased our current home and the refinance, I had to attend and sign something saying I knew about the loan.

When we got our new car loan earlier this year, it was in my name to help my credit. H had to do the same, signing to say he knew I was taking a car loan out.

So it goes both ways and protects both parties.

CharmedPam · October 2017

kvruns said:

CharmedPam said:

100% on your side with this. I see where you are coming from. I'm so glad IL isn't like that. I bought my house before i was married, and even before meeting him (actually right about the same time)! I have paid every single penny into this house, he has not contributed anything to it, nor have I helped him with his living expenses (remember, we're weird and live apart)

When H took out the loan for our new condo, I didn't want to be put on it since I had my own house. This is his. I mean technically, both our places are "ours" but I have the house, he has the condo. When we met with the loan officer and told him I'm staying off the loan, he had no problems with it.

I'm being nosy and feel free not to answer, but how does that work with taxes since I imagine you can only claim one primary residence for mortgage deductions etc

nah, you're fine. We've only been married one year, and we both filed "married but filing separately". We looked at both numbers, and filing jointly didn't benefit us. I dont know what this upcoming tax year will look like, but it'll probably be the same.

short+sassy · October 2017

OliveOilsMom said:

S+S - I can't be on a mortgage right now from the short sale of my first home bought at the height of the market. When we purchased our current home and the refinance, I had to attend and sign something saying I knew about the loan.
When we got our new car loan earlier this year, it was in my name to help my credit. H had to do the same, signing to say he knew I was taking a car loan out.
So it goes both ways and protects both parties.

It does go both ways. And it isn't true for all states. But I'm still highly suspicious these types of law came from a patriarchal place. Because laws are generally old and from when men ruled the world, even more than they do now.

It's possible I'm being too sensitive. But, on the subject, I always picture something like how dare June Cleaver have the audacity to get a car loan without her H's permission.

It's also harkening back to (I'm guessing) the way olden days when people got married younger and were more likely to share their finances.

Shocker to the "establishment". Some married couples don't share their finances. Many women, even in the middle/upper classes, work and buy their own stuff.

Do I think married couples should discuss major purchases with each other? Yes, absolutely. Do I think the state gets to dictate that married people HAVE to inform the other person of financial decisions that are being made? Financial decisions that have no effect on the other person's credit, mind you. No, no they don't. It's outrageous.

charlotte989875 · October 2017

Big day at the nonprofit. Met the lieutenant governor who spoke at one of our programs, then was asked to provide testimony to the state Department of Labor on the effect of call-in scheduling on domestic violence survivors. Exhausted but home early and I might take a nap.

Heres a (bad) picture of me from the hearing.

short+sassy · October 2017

Yay, @charlotte989875! That's awesome! You deserve a nap after a job well done.

southernbelle0915 · October 2017

@charlotte989875 so bad ass!!! Get it girl!

charlotte989875 · October 2017

Thanks @short+sassy & @southernbelle0915 It did feel pretty badass.

holyguacamole79 · October 2017

Yup, it was super fun proctoring. It actually wasn't that bad. I knew all of the students in my room, so it was a bit easier than it could've been. The only thing that sucked was trying to get them back after the break. A bunch of them went to the bathroom at the same time, so there was a line. So when the break time was up, half of the room was empty (even though I had told them when we'd start back up. *sigh* i did the whole walking thing, but it wasn't terribly exciting.

We're going to watch the Indians / Yankees game tonight to see who we're playing next!

lyndausvi · October 2017

short+sassy said:

OliveOilsMom said:

S+S - I can't be on a mortgage right now from the short sale of my first home bought at the height of the market. When we purchased our current home and the refinance, I had to attend and sign something saying I knew about the loan.
When we got our new car loan earlier this year, it was in my name to help my credit. H had to do the same, signing to say he knew I was taking a car loan out.
So it goes both ways and protects both parties.

It does go both ways. And it isn't true for all states. But I'm still highly suspicious these types of law came from a patriarchal place. Because laws are generally old and from when men ruled the world, even more than they do now.
It's possible I'm being too sensitive. But, on the subject, I always picture something like how dare June Cleaver have the audacity to get a car loan without her H's permission.
It's also harkening back to (I'm guessing) the way olden days when people got married younger and were more likely to share their finances.
Shocker to the "establishment". Some married couples don't share their finances. Many women, even in the middle/upper classes, work and buy their own stuff.
Do I think married couples should discuss major purchases with each other? Yes, absolutely. Do I think the state gets to dictate that married people HAVE to inform the other person of financial decisions that are being made? Financial decisions that have no effect on the other person's credit, mind you. No, no they don't. It's outrageous.

I'm sure it did come from a patriarchal place.

In community property states I get the reason. It would be horrible for a spouse to find out they are responsible for a deceptive practices of their partner. It's not all about your credit either.

There are a lot of scum bags out there. DH's ex-step-dad is one of them. He deceived MIL into signing over the house to him. She was an idiot and thought she was signing finance papers. For the next 5 years he took out multiple mortgages without her knowledge. Eventually he laundered the money to buy a house in his then mistress/now-wife's name. Then he stopped pay the mortgages. Mind you MIL paid $67K in cash for the house. By the time she divorced he had taken out $500K in mortgages.

She only found out she didn't actually own the house or about the mortgages when she getting a divorced. She would have benefited from a law like LA.

I understand your point of view on why it might have been established, but it can benefit both sexes these day.

lovesclimbing · October 2017

6fsn said:

boo @mrsconn23

My ugh- since our old car is titled in both names we BOTH have to go to the title agency to get a replacement. Now I'm wondering if we BOTH have to sign off with a notary.

Funny (But embarrassing)- My 4 yo said to another 4 yo "Be careful or the bee will sting your penis."

Can you change it so it's Jane Doe or John Doe instead of Jane Doe and John Doe? In my state, if you do the former, only one person has to sign.

6fsn · October 2017

@lovesclimbing We're selling it so it doesn't really matter. We needed a replacement so we both needed to be there. We have a hard copy of our van.

holyguacamole79 · October 2017

way to go, @charlotte989875!!!!

kimmiinthemitten · October 2017

@charlotte989875 that is super bad ass!

@holyguacamole79 Hubs was bored. But he's always bored proctoring. He did confirm that he did not hit anyone's desk with a ruler, apparently it's distracting when kids are focused or something haha.

OurWildKingdom · October 2017

@missJeanLouise, the kitty is so cute! Do you have a name for her yet?

missJeanLouise · October 2017

@OurWildKingdom The rescue named her Genevieve, since we mostly call her kitty kitty or little one, we will keep it her official name.

Ugh

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