Um, there was nothing else to do/say...?

mrsconn23 · October 2017

Dear Prudence,
Last night my wife and I went to a small theater to watch The Mystery of Edwin Drood. In the row in front of us, a woman became increasingly amorous with her date. She first leaned over and kissed his cheek. Then she took off her shoes, put her legs on his lap, and started kissing his neck. Then they began a lip-lock session—all while we were trying to watch the play. My wife, who had to look through their hook-up to watch the stage, leaned forward and asked them to break it up. Fortunately they did and must have decided to carry on elsewhere, as they didn’t return for the second act. At what point is it reasonable to ask people to “get a room” during a performance? And what would you suggest saying?

—Prude at Edwin Drood

banana468 · October 2017

When their behavior starts to make your investment into the evening an issue, speak up or get an usher.

Years ago my brother and the HS choir performed in Carnegie hall. I sat with my parents watching the performance while the people clicked away with their flash photography. I finally told them that what they were doing was annoying and illegal and to please knock it off.

cupcait927 · October 2017

It was perfectly reasonable for LW's wife to speak up at that point. I agree with @banana468 that when the behavior is impacting your enjoyment of an event, it's time to intervene. While their behavior wasn't as egregious as the couple in this letter, I did have to ask a couple to please quiet down during a comedy show that H and I went to last winter. They were sitting in front of us and having an increasingly loud conversation about text messages that the wife was receiving, to the point where I couldn't concentrate on a show that I had paid money to attend. I was polite but firm and they stopped.

ei34 · October 2017

I think whatever the LW's wife said was fine, since they stopped. And her timing sounded good too. A kiss on the cheek- no biggie. So much going on that she can't see the performance? Definitely time to say something.

CharmedPam · October 2017

I guess I should go to this play, if it makes people so excited? but yeah, speak up! no theater ticket I ever bought was cheap.

short+sassy · October 2017

To me, a normal course of events should be...

1) Another concert/play goer is doing something that is impacting your enjoyment.

2) Totally appropriate at that point to, politely, ask them stop XYZ.

3) If they continue XYZ, I probably wouldn't ask a second time. I speak to an usher/manager and have them handle it.

I was at a Pat Benatar concert last year. It was in a theatre and everyone had a seat. There was also a "pit" that people could stand and dance in, if they wanted to. I'm pretty sure that was open to anyone.

I was in the upper seating and there was a lady a few rows in front of me, but also a few rows over. So she wasn't impacting me, at least. However, she was quite drunk, standing up the whole time, and dancing in place.

Which, for many concerts isn't that unusual. But it was for this performance. She was about the ONLY person in the seated sections who was standing. Many people behind her complained to her. Many times. Her own b/f was trying to get her to sit down. But she refused.

I heard her call back a few times to her complainers that it was a concert, people should be standing, lighten up. I "kind of" saw her point but, bottom line, she was impacting other people's experience. And it was a lot of people complaining to her, not just one "fuddy duddy". So my personal verdict was, she was in the wrong and should have sat down or gone into the pit.

climbingsingle · October 2017

@cupcait927 I just noticed your signature gif, and it's killing me dead! Haha!

cupcait927 · October 2017

climbingwife said:

@cupcait927 I just noticed your signature gif, and it's killing me dead! Haha!

I couldn't help myself

kerbohl · October 2017

On the flip side, I was at a Great Big Sea concert where everyone in my section but two people (seated a few seats over from us) were standing. The seated couple tried to get everyone in front of them to sit down.

short+sassy · October 2017

kerbohl said:

On the flip side, I was at a Great Big Sea concert where everyone in my section but two people (seated a few seats over from us) were standing. The seated couple tried to get everyone in front of them to sit down.

Exactly! I think it is a "go with the flow/with the crowd" thing. In that case, the "seated" people were the ones who were being different from those around them. And I think they were silly to expect all the people in front of them to stay seated, when nobody else was.

I personally was super happy everyone else was seated during that concert. Because, at only 5'0", I can see over people when we are all seated. I can't see over people when they are standing. Even if I am standing. But, that is my lot in life that I have accepted, lol. If everyone had been standing, I would have stood also and done my best to see what I could. However, I wouldn't have issued a royal decree that the 8 rows in front of me simply must stay seated, lol.

MissKittyDanger · October 2017

kerbohl said:

On the flip side, I was at a Great Big Sea concert where everyone in my section but two people (seated a few seats over from us) were standing. The seated couple tried to get everyone in front of them to sit down.

Sounds like when M, my mum and I went to a concert. There were teenagers in front of us. We ignored the fact they were underage drinking {hey, we've all been there!} but drew the line when the girl got on one guy's shoulders to see.

We asked multiple times for her to get down since many can't see {we were pretty close tbh} and a lady nearby said "if you don't get down, I will force you down." Teens scoffed. We gave some time.
Lady reached over, grabbed girl by waist and brought her down {gently} and said "you get up there again, I'm getting security" then eyed her bag.

I wasn't a fan of her touching the girl, but in this incident I didn't care much lol

Um, there was nothing else to do/say...?

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