This is probably long - apologies in advance:
My FIL has worked at the same place for nearly 38 years and his last day there before he retires is the Friday before Christmas.
FIL has said that he doesn't want people to make a big deal about his retirement.
We live about 45 min. from MIL and FIL. BIL along with his family live a solid 8+ hour drive away.
BIL has decided that he's going to drive out with SIL, their 3 kids and his FIL to surprise FIL on the last day of work to greet him as he walks out the door and...maybe take him out for a drink? Then they'd go to MIL and FIL's place where they'd have dinner (or go out on the Friday before Christmas?), and then spend the night. The following morning they'd get up and do brunch and family time before heading back in the afternoon to their home because Christmas will be hosted back at their house. They will not be staying for Christmas Eve or Christmas Day.
MIL is not in great shape physically and she's made this known. Her knees are BAD to the point that she has replacement surgery scheduled for after the new year (when FIL will be able to have the time to drive her everywhere) and she has someone come over to do house cleaning. (to give you an idea of how bad this is, my MIL is not a dirty person and they have no pets. The routine stuff hurts at this point).
MIL and FIL sleep in separate rooms. When BIL and his family visit they generally stay in FIL's room because there's plenty of space for them and the kids.
If you're still following, this means that FIL would be surprised as he walks out the door to a change in his dinner plans, house guests that move him out of his bedroom and a weekend of plans that are uprooted. It means that MIL will either need to employ the housekeeper to do extra work all while FIL is supposed to be in the dark to have that area ready. And it means that our weekend prep of preparing for Christmas (we planning to host this year) is now adjusted. For the last 11 years, we have celebrated Christmas Eve with MIL and FIL. If these plans happen we probably wouldn't simply because it's a lot of driving and too much on MIL to do this. Oh, and who knows where their FIL will sleep. And gift exchanges for Christmas would be shared with BIL's FIL. He's a great guy but gift exchanges are one of the few times that MIL and FIL have had that time to just be with their family.
DH has emailed BIL to tell him that he think this just isn't a great idea. MIL has had conversations with BIL and they get heated (both of them have a way of getting worked up with each other) and BIL has actually called MIL selfish. I have tried to stay out of this with BIL and SIL but if my opinion is requested I will say as nicely as possible that this idea is so bad that good ideas aren't even visible in its rear view mirror.
Last night I was talking to DH and said, "What about just telling his dad what's up? Then FIL can figure out if this idea smells worse than 4 day old fish or then HE can be helping MIL so she doesn't need to keep this surprise."
I am angry on behalf of my MIL and would hope that BIL would consider adjusting his plans to be announced, not a surprise and after Christmas but I think unless he's flat out addressed intervention style he's going to refuse to accept that this is a terrible idea.
If you're still following....WWWWD?