Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Woes
Wedding Woes
New Discussion

WTELMF?

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
edited November 2017 in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,

I started a new job two weeks ago. Today, one of the managers came around and asked everyone if they had gotten something for “Susie’s” birthday this Friday. When I asked who Susie was, I was shocked to hear that she was the owner’s 10-year-old daughter! I confirmed with my co-workers that yes, we are expected to buy gifts for our boss’ daughter and that not buying her a gift could put you on bad terms with him. I’m so lost on what to do—I haven’t even gotten my first paycheck, and I’m being asked to buy a little girl a birthday present! I could afford it with some of my savings, but I’m apprehensive about buying something for her. I’d be fine with buying a small, reasonable gift for a co-worker’s birthday, but this is different. What should I do?

—Gift Grief

Report Reply to Post

Re: WTELMF?

  • CharmedPamCharmedPam member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    yeah, this is my thought on that:

    ?????

    Report Reply
  • Ro041Ro041 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Wow.  

    Although, I was asked to contribute to Administrative Professionals' Day within 2 weeks of starting my job and was told if I didn't, I would look cheap and even though it was voluntary, it really wasn't.  I hadn't even gotten a paycheck when that happened.  Luckily, another person in my office stood up for me and said I shouldn't have to contribute.  I think I ended up doing it because I didn't want to give a bad impression, but I was pretty salty about it. 

    Report Reply
  • CharmedPamCharmedPam member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Ro041 said:
    Wow.  

    Although, I was asked to contribute to Administrative Professionals' Day within 2 weeks of starting my job and was told if I didn't, I would look cheap and even though it was voluntary, it really wasn't.  I hadn't even gotten a paycheck when that happened.  Luckily, another person in my office stood up for me and said I shouldn't have to contribute.  I think I ended up doing it because I didn't want to give a bad impression, but I was pretty salty about it. 
    I think I remember a post about this...did you post this within the last year?

    Report Reply
  • Ro041Ro041 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    @CharmedPam - No!  Mine was almost 7 years ago.  I guess this isn't an infrequent expectation...

    Report Reply
  • CharmedPamCharmedPam member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Ro041 said:
    @CharmedPam - No!  Mine was almost 7 years ago.  I guess this isn't an infrequent expectation...
    Probably not! Or it could have been another DP letter.

    Report Reply
  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its

    Wow!  Isn't that some b.s.  So weird.  I've never bought or chipped in to buy a coworker a bday gift.  Much less a coworker's family member. 

    Xmas gifts, yes.  Chipping in for presents for a work bridal or baby shower, yes.  Never a bday.

    Crazy.

    But, if it were me, I'd buy something just to keep accord in the office.  However, I certainly wouldn't spend more than $10-$20.  The LW mentioning having to dip into her savings account makes me wonder if expensive presents are "required"?  That would just make it even more nuts.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its

    Are they buying presents for every child born of a worker there?  Probably not.  This is a big time taking advantage of employees!  LW can't even report this to anyone without being singled out that it is her, since she is new.

    I would say that no, you cannot contribute at this time since you have not even received a paycheck.  But next year you will be happy to, but by next year you will already be gone because LW should start looking for a new job ASAP.  And when potential employers ask why she is leaving already, she should not hide the reason!

    Report Reply
  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Also, how crazy that she's expected to buy a birthday present for a child she's never met. I mean, aside from all this madness of a boss requiring his employees to buy gifts for his kid. But it's not even a chip in situation. She's got to purchase an actual gift. 
    Report Reply
  • MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I've chipped in for coworker gifts - one year my boss and I split on a nice bag for my coworker's bday because she would never buy it for herself. {boss offered to split 75/25 but I was cool with 50/50}

    We do gifts for baby showers, major milestones, and sometimes bdays but those happened after I'd been here for awhile and it's never "oh you have to put in X-amount", it'll be something we all discuss what affordability is
    Report Reply
  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    MissKittyDanger said:
    I've chipped in for coworker gifts - one year my boss and I split on a nice bag for my coworker's bday because she would never buy it for herself. {boss offered to split 75/25 but I was cool with 50/50}

    We do gifts for baby showers, major milestones, and sometimes bdays but those happened after I'd been here for awhile and it's never "oh you have to put in X-amount", it'll be something we all discuss what affordability is

    But baby shower, wedding shower, and birthday gifts that benefit the co-worker themselves - I have no problems with it.  The LW is talking about a gift for the 10 year old daughter of the boss.  HUGE DIFFERENCE!
    Report Reply
  • MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    OliveOilsMom said:
    MissKittyDanger said:
    I've chipped in for coworker gifts - one year my boss and I split on a nice bag for my coworker's bday because she would never buy it for herself. {boss offered to split 75/25 but I was cool with 50/50}

    We do gifts for baby showers, major milestones, and sometimes bdays but those happened after I'd been here for awhile and it's never "oh you have to put in X-amount", it'll be something we all discuss what affordability is

    But baby shower, wedding shower, and birthday gifts that benefit the co-worker themselves - I have no problems with it.  The LW is talking about a gift for the 10 year old daughter of the boss.  HUGE DIFFERENCE!
    Baby shower is debatable ;)
    But could be LW's boss is not wanting to buy gifts for child and using employees as scape goat - so it could benefit the boss
    Report Reply
  • sparklepants41sparklepants41 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    JFC. Find a new job. This just screams unprofessional work environment. I'm imagining the boss' daughter is like the niece of the dentist in Finding Nemo, btw. 


    Report Reply
  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    This is so beyond inappropriate and points to other signs of this owner being an asshole and the company being a bad place to be. This person needs to get out.

    I've contributed to many gifts at work (for employees, not kids or other family!). It's always optional. Usually it's an e-mail like "so and so's occasion, let me know if you want to contribute." I've never witnessed any gossip about who gave and who didn't, never witnessed any retribution, nothing. We contribute out of the goodness of our hearts and if we don't, you never hear a word about it. 
    ________________________________


    Report Reply
  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    thisismynickname2 said:
    This is so beyond inappropriate and points to other signs of this owner being an asshole and the company being a bad place to be. This person needs to get out.

    I've contributed to many gifts at work (for employees, not kids or other family!). It's always optional. Usually it's an e-mail like "so and so's occasion, let me know if you want to contribute." I've never witnessed any gossip about who gave and who didn't, never witnessed any retribution, nothing. We contribute out of the goodness of our hearts and if we don't, you never hear a word about it. 

    This has also been my experience, in all of the companies I have worked for.

    I've also occasionally seen requests for contributions to an employee who was badly injured or has major medical needs.  But it is asked for in the same totally voluntary frame.

    One company I worked for had a neat program for employees needing to take extensive time off work for medical reasons.  Other employees could choose to donate sick or vacation hours to them.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    This LINK should help.

    I would "happily" buy a gift and continue working as professionally as possible (in a decidedly unprofessional environment) until I found another job. Then I would make a totally benign, bullshit excuse to leave - like we were moving and with one car, I needed to be closer to work. This is the kind of place that would crucify someone who they saw as disloyal and take it personally when they left the company...not great for employment history checks or references.
    *********************************************************************************

    image
    Report Reply
  • TNDancerTNDancer member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    banana468 said:
    You're working for someone who expects you to buy for HIS KID?  Yeah, GTFO of there.  Maybe get a token something to tide you over until you get a new job but that's the sign of a major d-bag.

    That's slightly different IMO than an office that observes an administrative professional holiday because well, the admin is an employee!

    Am I the only one that isn't having a flashback to Ross moving into his new building? 
    This is what I've been thinking the whole thread!
    Report Reply
  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    TNDancer said:
    banana468 said:
    You're working for someone who expects you to buy for HIS KID?  Yeah, GTFO of there.  Maybe get a token something to tide you over until you get a new job but that's the sign of a major d-bag.

    That's slightly different IMO than an office that observes an administrative professional holiday because well, the admin is an employee!

    Am I the only one that isn't having a flashback to Ross moving into his new building? 
    This is what I've been thinking the whole thread!
    YES!

    "To me, Harold isn't the 'handyman', he's just 'man'." 
    Report Reply
  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    nope. nope, nope, nope, nope. nope. 
    Report Reply
  • babe1990babe1990 member
    First Comment
    the point is you are a new comer...you haven't gotten your first paycheck...
    Report Reply
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards