Etiquette
knottie4329f471f0a951a2
member
Invitations and RSVPs

in Etiquette
Hi! I’m just messing around with online RSVP sites way earlier than I
need to, and I’m wondering about invitation wording now. We are
providing plus ones to our single guests including the older teenagers.
For those who still live with their parents, how would we address
invitations to indicate which person gets the plus one? For example, a
family with three teenagers, how do we address it to indicate that they
all get a plus one? Or, for a single parent and teenager, how do we
indicate that the plus one is for the teenager but not the parent? Most
situations are easy (to dad and mom and kid and guest seems pretty
obvious to me), but I keep coming across situations that I’m not sure
how we would address when the time comes. Hopefully this makes sense!
Re: Invitations and RSVPs
If that's not possible, then on the envelope you could say:
Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
Ms. Jane Smith and GuestName
Ms. Lucy Smith and GuestName
Mr. Uncle & Mrs. Aunt LastName
Cousin 1 & Guest
Cousin 2 & Guest
Cousin 3 & Guest
That also kind of looked stupid/busy, but that made more sense than sending a bunch of invites to one house.
NBD, it was the proper way to invite everyone.
You're not obligated to extend +1s to everyone, but I can imagine some hurt feelings if one person on the invitation got a +1 and the other didn't!
If the teenager is 18 or 19, send them a separate invitation. Once they hit adulthood they become their own "social unit" regardless of who they live with. If they're under 18 I'd go with the following:
Ms. ParentFirstname Lastname and Guest
Mr. TeenFirstname Lastname and Guest
It's just the right way to invite people and the result is less cluttered (and incorrect) invitations.
Maybe, just maybe, your cousins would think it was awesome that they were not under their parent's invitation anymore. They are being seen as independent adults, not an extension of their parents.
The house I sent 5 invites to was MIL + one, SIL + her BF, SIL + one, BIL + one and grandma who lived in the house also. All of them are adults and were treated as such. Yes, the invites arrived at different times. NBD.
The houses I sent 3 and 4 invites to were to my siblings. I sent each niece/nephew (all minors mind you) their own invitation. The kids LOVED receiving their own invitation. It make them feel important and special.
Mom and guest
Daughter and guest
Address
Address
Thanks for all your replies! These are just all the little, insignificant details that I'm thinking about early while I can't plan anything else yet haha
In general, you place social units together on one line, whether that is "Mr. John Doe and Ms. Jane Doe" or "Ms. Jane Doe and guest".
And Adults and their children go separate lines, whether that is:
"Mr. John Doe and Ms. Jane Doe
Sarah Doe
Jeff Doe"
or
"Ms. Jane Doe and Guest
Sarah Doe and Guest".
Is it correct to send adults their own invitation? Yes. It is also correct to hand address each invitation.
This is a victimless crime in my opinion.
I also don't find people who think spending money needlessly weird or rude. But I do find it wrong to judge people who do. On the surface, it is a waste of money to send identical, multiple invitations to the same address.
DH's aunt and uncle had 12 kids. Their age range was such that there were two minor children living at home with their parents PLUS multiple adults, some of whom were married and with kids of their own.
The adults had their own schedules and their own lives and they certainly weren't reading their parents' mail.
Sending all to one house may have saved paper and postage but it would have involved chasing down responses and clarity in those responses to ensure we knew who was coming and what they were eating.
So on the surface, I think you need to think before calling it a waste.