Reception Ideas

Reception only

My husband and I got married 6 months ago we plan on doing just a reception in June right around when we got married. I want to have a wedding party, my mother in law says no. I want to do everything like we just came from the wedding but everyone is making a huge deal about it. I want the toast the bouquet and garter toss cake cutting the whole 9 yards and my family isn’t very keen on the idea. I just wanted to know is it there desicon? Do I just take it under advisement and do what I want? My husband also wants to do a sand ceremony in the begging and I like the idea but I need some other input that isn’t my family for help. 

Re: Reception only

  • My husband and I got married 6 months ago we plan on doing just a reception in June right around when we got married. I want to have a wedding party, my mother in law says no. I want to do everything like we just came from the wedding but everyone is making a huge deal about it. I want the toast the bouquet and garter toss cake cutting the whole 9 yards and my family isn’t very keen on the idea. I just wanted to know is it there desicon? Do I just take it under advisement and do what I want? My husband also wants to do a sand ceremony in the begging and I like the idea but I need some other input that isn’t my family for help. 
    I mean no, it's your decision, but like @Jen4948 mentioned it's inappropriate to include things like a bouquet toss, cake cutting, and sand ceremony at what is really just going to be an anniversary party. Are you expecting them to pay for it? 
    charlotte989875InLoveInQueenseileenrob
  • You're having an anniversary party, congratulations! At an anniversary party, you don't include anything reminiscent of a wedding. That means no wedding party, cake cutting, unity ceremony, officiant, etc. A vow renewal is probably okay, but might be a little odd after just a year. Those are usually saved for milestone anniversaries like 5, 10, etc. Your guests may not say anything to you about it, but it's pretty rude to re-enact something they weren't invited to in the first place.

    All that being said, you're free to do whatever you want as long as you're paying for it. If someone else is paying, they do get a say in what happens. 
    InLoveInQueenseileenrob
  • I assume by "everyone is making a huge deal about it" you mean they are being negative. Honestly you should be thanking them. Like @ahoywedding mentioned people usually won't say anything directly to you but they will talk behind your back. 
    You made your choice to elope the same I made my choice to invite 220 people to my wedding. There's no turning back months later. You can have  party- even fancy! with a DJ! but please don't have a wedding party. That is GUARANTEED to make people talk about you behind your back.


    ahoyweddingInLoveInQueenseileenrobCMGragain
  • Look, your situation is what it is. You're married. You want to host a party. So do that. But don't pretend it's something it's not. 

    What you are planning is a marriage celebration or an anniversary party. You will not have just come from your wedding ceremony - you will have come from the home you share with your husband of a year. 

    Just treat it like the big party it is. Get a fun party dress, hire a caterer and a DJ/band, and get a fabulous cake. 

    If you want to honor certain friends, seat them at a special table near yours and give them corsages, but they won't have any other role (or certain clothes to wear). I wouldn't personally wouldn't side eye cutting a cake, but I'd also frame it as you're cutting the cake to celebrate 1 successful year as newlyweds - not as a brand new husband and wife (you aren't). Don't re-enact a ceremony, whatever you do. That is just odd.
    Ditto.

    Have a party - have a GREAT party!   Parties have food and cake.   But there aren't major ceremonial aspects with an anniversary party.    Wedding parties, attendants, and catching the bouquet are for WEDDINGS.  This is an anniversary party and not a wedding.   Rock a great dress and serve great food but pleaset don't try to turn the celebration into something that it could have been a year ago.
    charlotte989875SP29CMGragain
  • banana468 said:
    Look, your situation is what it is. You're married. You want to host a party. So do that. But don't pretend it's something it's not. 

    What you are planning is a marriage celebration or an anniversary party. You will not have just come from your wedding ceremony - you will have come from the home you share with your husband of a year. 

    Just treat it like the big party it is. Get a fun party dress, hire a caterer and a DJ/band, and get a fabulous cake. 

    If you want to honor certain friends, seat them at a special table near yours and give them corsages, but they won't have any other role (or certain clothes to wear). I wouldn't personally wouldn't side eye cutting a cake, but I'd also frame it as you're cutting the cake to celebrate 1 successful year as newlyweds - not as a brand new husband and wife (you aren't). Don't re-enact a ceremony, whatever you do. That is just odd.
    Ditto.

    Have a party - have a GREAT party!   Parties have food and cake.   But there aren't major ceremonial aspects with an anniversary party.    Wedding parties, attendants, and catching the bouquet are for WEDDINGS.  This is an anniversary party and not a wedding.   Rock a great dress and serve great food but pleaset don't try to turn the celebration into something that it could have been a year ago.
    Agreed completely. You're married and you want to throw a party. Awesome. I love parties, lots of people love parties! 

    But first of all, a reception by definition is associated with an event of some kind (like a wedding reception is to receive your guests who attended the ceremony; in the business world you may have a welcome reception prior to a conference; in academia you may have a reception after hearing a speaker for the people who attended, etc.). Since the wedding is long done with, you can't have a wedding reception. But you can have a party! For any reason (i.e. anniversary) or for no real reason at all. Parties don't need reasons!

    Think about what it is you REALLY want when you talk about all the trappings of a wedding reception. For instance:
    Wedding party--do you want to spend the day getting ready with your girlfriends? Invite them to do this with you, you can do this with out a wedding party.
    Great posed pics of your friends and family--wedding trappings not required.  You can hire a photographer any time you want.
    Toasts--you really can't ask other people to toast you, but toasts are fine at parties. 
    Bouquet, garter, cake cutting, etc.--what are you looking for here? You're already married so none of this makes sense, so figure out what you're looking for. It sounds like you just want to be the center of attention. That's fine, I love being the center of attention--you can do that by hosting a great party, having a good attitude, making a point to talk to everyone, and looking amazing while doing it. 
    thisismynickname2SP29
  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    Ditto PPs. I would say the one thing you absolutely cannot do is ask your friends to spend money to wear "bridal party" attire to this party. That is a recipe for hard feelings.

    As to the rest of the wedding-type things, you can do it as long as you're paying, but people will think it's stupid and pointless and designed to get you attention (which it probably is) and no one will think better of you for having it - in fact, probably the opposite. Your friends and family are giving you key indicators of this.

    People will think you classy and your party awesome if you just throw a great party and host them well, and as others said, looking fabulous.

    Anniversary

    eileenrobSP29
  • No my husband and I said we where going to pay the whole bill if they would like to help they can
  • I’m not looking for them to spend money on a wedding dress or have them have a bridesmaids dresses. We got married with just family around when we got married and sent out information saying that and telling everyone we wanted to have a reception after saving money for it because we wanted to celebrate with everyone there. And maybe that was wrong for what I wanted but thank you guys for your advice I really needed it 
  • Have an anniversary or celebration of marriage party, but no, it would not be appropriate to have a wedding reception. The big thing to remember here is that you and your husband are not the bride and groom- you are wife and husband. Thus, anything portraying a bride and groom would be inappropriate. There is a reason you are getting push back from your family on this.

    Anyone can host a party. It can be as casual or as formal as you want. A party can involve a large venue with a dinner, DJ and dancing, or, something much more simple. You can hire a photographer or a videographer, if you want. As the hosts, you should send out invitations. As the host, you should thank your guests for attending- aka. you could have a receiving line or table visits. You may give a toast to thank your guests for attending, other people may give toasts if they want to, but no special toasts to the "bride and groom". The hosts may cut the dessert (a lavish cake, if you wish!), but you must serve your guests firsts- no feeding each other cake. The hosts may open up the dance floor after dinner, but no spotlight dances. You may choose to honour your closest friends and family with a corsage or boutonniere, or get ready together the day of, but no wedding party- no bridesmaids, no groomsmen. You may have all the flowers you want. You may wear any stunning attire you wish. But no traditions such as the garter or bouquet toss. No wedding re-enactments.

    Enjoy your awesome party!
    CMGragainInLoveInQueens
  • CMGragainCMGragain
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    edited November 2017
    My husband and I got married 6 months ago we plan on doing just a reception in June right around when we got married. I want to have a wedding party, my mother in law says no. I want to do everything like we just came from the wedding but everyone is making a huge deal about it. I want the toast the bouquet and garter toss cake cutting the whole 9 yards and my family isn’t very keen on the idea. I just wanted to know is it there desicon? Do I just take it under advisement and do what I want? My husband also wants to do a sand ceremony in the begging and I like the idea but I need some other input that isn’t my family for help. 
    Listen to your mother-in-law.  She is 100% correct, and she is trying to help you avoid making a fool of yourself.  Your plans are not appropriate.
    You had your wedding day.  You cannot have another one.  You cannot have a "wedding reception" on any day except your wedding day.
    Just have a nice party for your friends and family and avoid any reference to "wedding" anything!  You can have a nice time and enjoy their company.  If you pretend that it is your wedding, you will look very attention seeking - and rather silly - to your guests.  I assume that they already know that you are a married couple?
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    InLoveInQueens
  • It's your marriage. I think you two can decide everything. And of course family's suggestions should be considered as suggestions.
  • It's your marriage. I think you two can decide everything. And of course family's suggestions should be considered as suggestions.
    Well, they can decide anything but we're going to advise what is and isn't appropriate.  
    ahoyweddingJen4948SP29CMGragain
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    member
    It's your marriage. I think you two can decide everything. And of course family's suggestions should be considered as suggestions.
    Actually, no they can't. I can "decide" that my cat is an elephant all day, but she's still feline. 

    No one can "decide" that a party is a wedding reception. No matter what OP and her husband "decide", they won't be a bride and groom, and they can't "decide" that it's appropriate for them to pretend to be.

    Reality doesn't change just because a person is getting (or recently got) married.
    CMGragainSTARMOON44SP29MandyMost
  • CMGragainCMGragain
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    edited December 2017
    Please, just have a lovely 1st anniversary party.  Nothing wrong with that.  Tell your bridesmaids that you have changed your plans.  Bridesmaids are for weddings only.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    STARMOON44
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    member
    donethat said:
    My husband and I got married 6 months ago we plan on doing just a reception in June right around when we got married. I want to have a wedding party, my mother in law says no. I want to do everything like we just came from the wedding but everyone is making a huge deal about it. I want the toast the bouquet and garter toss cake cutting the whole 9 yards and my family isn’t very keen on the idea. I just wanted to know is it there desicon? Do I just take it under advisement and do what I want? My husband also wants to do a sand ceremony in the begging and I like the idea but I need some other input that isn’t my family for help. 
    Crowd sourcing is a great place to get ideas and opinions.  Here's mine:  sure!  Go for it!  (...mostly)

    For some reason, you two got married, and THEN planned to save money to host a party.  (You can tell by the other responses that most people hold off on the wedding ceremony until they can have the reception immediately following)

    As others have suggested, what you are hosting is now an anniversary party.  So, have a beautiful dress, some yummy food and drink, have a toast or two, cut a slice of cake and enjoy some dancing.  If a sand ceremony is something your husband has always dreamed of, incorporate that into the party as "in celebration of our first anniversary, we'd like to create some art together".  (Or, do that privately for your own personal 1st anniversary celebration).    

    But, a couple things seem out of place for a party of this type (which I think is what others are shaking their heads at you about.)    A "wedding party" (groomsmen, bridesmaids, flowergirls, etc..) is not appropriate for an anniversary party.  Tossing a bouquet or removing and tossing a garter seems out of place for a couple already married for a year.

    Seriously, invite some friends and family, and celebrate your love and marriage ...but .... it's a year later and it's something different than a wedding reception.  So, please embrace that, and enjoy what it IS and who you two are ...happily married!  


    Except for the bolded, great advice! I like the suggestion about doing the sand ceremony privately.
    donethat
  • @MRDCle no I didn’t offer they asked if they could help and I said if they would like to they can. Where I am from it is not uncommon to get married and wait to have a reception till later I see that you all stand against it. Like I said coming to the form I was looking for answers and opinions and as much as you guys say no I will think about it for the next couple of months but you are people behind a keyboard. 
  • @MRDCle no I didn’t offer they asked if they could help and I said if they would like to they can. Where I am from it is not uncommon to get married and wait to have a reception till later I see that you all stand against it. Like I said coming to the form I was looking for answers and opinions and as much as you guys say no I will think about it for the next couple of months but you are people behind a keyboard. 
    Common does not always mean correct.

    All anyone is saying is to have a wonderful party but it would be inappropriate to do a wedding typical activities (bouquet toss, bridal party, garter toss, etc) because you are not having a wedding. It would just be weird, which is why you are getting push back from your family. 
    donethatSP29
  • @MRDCle no I didn’t offer they asked if they could help and I said if they would like to they can. Where I am from it is not uncommon to get married and wait to have a reception till later I see that you all stand against it. Like I said coming to the form I was looking for answers and opinions and as much as you guys say no I will think about it for the next couple of months but you are people behind a keyboard. 
    It is because we are people behind a keyboard that you should listen carefully to us!  We don't know you.  We have no reason to tell you anything except the truth!  Your family members and friends care about hurting your feelings, so they might not want to tell you how terrible your ideas are.

    Here, we tell the truth.  Yes, it is OK for you to have a party to celebrate your first year of marriage.  No, it is not OK to have a fake "wedding reception" one year after your marriage.

    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    SP29thisismynickname2
  • @MRDCle no I didn’t offer they asked if they could help and I said if they would like to they can. Where I am from it is not uncommon to get married and wait to have a reception till later I see that you all stand against it. Like I said coming to the form I was looking for answers and opinions and as much as you guys say no I will think about it for the next couple of months but you are people behind a keyboard. 
    Hmmmmm... that seems odd. They are telling you the idea is bad and tacky and that they don't like it...yet now the story is that they're offering to pay for it?
    *********************************************************************************

    image
    MRDClecharlotte989875InLoveInQueensahoywedding
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut
    Moderator Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    mod
    edited December 2017
    As long as all your guests know that you are married already and they aren't being invited to your wedding, I'm fine with that. I'm even okay with a fancy tiered cake (YEY! CAKE) and you and your husband having a formal cake cutting - my family has the honorees cut the first slice on their birthdays, so what's the big deal? Just make sure you have enough cake for everyone. A white dress that matches the formality  or informality of the party, and you and your husband toasting each are all good, as far as I'm concerned. Where I draw the line is having a phoney ceremony and wedding party. Also, the garter and bouquet tosses are passe. I haven't seen that done in over 20 years. May I share some personal experience?

    My cousin, who was in the military, secretly married his fi so she could get spousal benefits. Not knowing how to break the news to the grandparents, they planned a backyard 'wedding' for their first anniversary. Their conscience got the best of them and they came clean to the grandparents and changed the wedding invitations to 1st anniversary invitations. H and I brought along our gift of cash, the same amount that we would have given as a wedding gift. Yey! We were at a very lovely picnic style 1st anniversary party, with tables and chairs and plenty of food and drink for every guest. All was well. Everyone was chatting merrily and enjoying wine, apps and lovely weather by the lake when bam....

    The 'Bride' was circulating with the guests in her wedding dress- seriously, I have no problem with someone getting to wear her dress twice- but then she was joined by 7 'bridesmaids' in formal full length dresses. Then, the groom and his men appeared  in shorts and matching t-shirts with groom, best man, groomsman emblazoned on them, which looked really odd. The 'bride and groom' looked like they weren't attending the same event. The 'MOB' was trying to herd all the guests to the corner of the garden to watch the 'wedding ceremony.' The guests didn't budge because they were quite confused about WTH was happening. Everyone continued to chat and drink, while the couple hastily recited vows. Then the 'MOB' played the first dance on an ipod, the 'bride and groom, rocked back and forth a few times, with the guests not paying much attention. It was embarrassing. They should have stuck with the anniversary theme.

    Congratulations on your marriage. I hope you have a lovely 1st anniversary celebration. When you make your plans, think about the purpose of the traditions you choose to incorporate. Celebrating one year of marriage supersedes your first day of marriage.
                
    southernbelle0915thisismynickname2InLoveInQueensflantastic
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards