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Return the gifts and move on

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,

I’m trying to recover from a bad breakup. It happened quickly and without warning. I had already purchased Christmas gifts for my then-boyfriend and some of his family members. I’m struggling to decide if I’m obligated to give these gifts to them or send them back. Giving them to him wouldn’t help with my healing process, but his family was incredibly kind to me. What should I do?

—Heartbroken

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Re: Return the gifts and move on

  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Return the presents.  Its a bad breakup, returning them and not worrying about them any further may help with the healing process.
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  • STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
    First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Of course return the gifts! 
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  • ei34ei34 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I’d return them, though I feel bad for the LW that she clearly cared/cares so much about ex that she needs to ask Prudie and not just immediately know on her own to return them.
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  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    It's hard to break up when you're close with the family, but I assure you, it's even more awkward to maintain those relationships, especially when one of you starts dating again.
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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    omg really? Think this through. You're an ex from a nasty break up that's really fresh. And you are seriously considering giving Christmas gifts to the ex-lover's family? Do you realize how nutso that sounds?!
    *********************************************************************************

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  • MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Return the gifts. Buy yourself something.
    I always find retail therapy to be a good, instant, pick-me-up after breakups or when in a bad mood.
    {hence my makeup collection partly}
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  • kvrunskvruns member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    why are people so afraid to return gifts they have bought (this one plus the Jean one)
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  • MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    kvruns said:
    why are people so afraid to return gifts they have bought (this one plus the Jean one)
    It might be more the idea/act of returning it than actually doing it. Like the psychological part of it
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  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    kvruns said:
    why are people so afraid to return gifts they have bought (this one plus the Jean one)

    I was wondering the same thing!  I'm sure no one in the ex's family is expecting to receive a gift from her.  And it would be weird and awkward if she did.

    I might give the ex his gift...set aflame!

    Seriously, though.  If she didn't have a chance to say good-bye to his family, maybe it would make her feel better to send a Christmas card.  She could include a handwritten note in it that thanks them for the kindness they showed to her, wishes them well, etc.  Of course, not necessary at all.  She shouldn't do it if it will bring her more pain.  But I suspect sending out those cards might give her some of the closure she needs.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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  • banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    My HS ex BF brought my parents cookies the Christmas after we broke up and that only cemented my feeling that the breakup was the right thing and he...was not.
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  • judywedding2019judywedding2019 member
    First Comment
    return the gifts and forget him and his family
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