Wedding Party

Small Wedding- Bridal Party and close friends not invited

chase4chase4 member
First Comment
edited December 2017 in Wedding Party
My fiance and I are getting married in Colorado. This is more of a destination wedding for us since we are from SD. We have decided to invite just family (parents, grandparents uncles, aunts, cousins.) Because we we didn't like the idea that our best friends wouldn't be there, we did decide to have 4 friends each and make them our bridal party. We are running into a problem with how to tell our close friends who aren't in the wedding party and aren't invited. Both of us have been telling co-workers and others that we are not close with that we are having just family. We just don't know what to tell our other close friends that are not even invited to the wedding. They will be hurt to find out that we have 4 friends each and they are not one of them! Please any advice will help!! 

Re: Small Wedding- Bridal Party and close friends not invited

  • Thank you for the reply! No, we aren't going to tell them "you aren't invited." We just know that it will eventually come up when we go home for the holiday's. From my end I know I will get quite a bit of, how is the wedding planning going and people digging for details. 

    For the people that have asked I have simply told them, we are keeping it intimate with family only. They have respected that and wished that they would have done that. 
  • You just say it’s going to be very small. Which is true. 
  • I would just say that it wasn't possible for you to invite everyone you would have liked -- and only if they bring the subject up.
  • "I can't wait for your wedding!" / "Am I invited?" 
    "We are just having a super small, destination wedding + bean dip comment."

    Acceptable bean dip comments:
    "don't you love this bean dip? I have to get this recipe."
    "Can you believe all the snow (insert place) is getting?"
    "How are Angela's piano lessons going?"
    etc. etc. etc.

    Rinse and repeat as necessary. You don't have to feel bad for not inviting people.
    *********************************************************************************

    image
  • I think, you can send them your wedding gifts and cards reading " ... we plan a small wedding ....we feel so sorry ....can't invite all of our friends here....but we still hope to get your blessings...."
  • I think, you can send them your wedding gifts and cards reading " ... we plan a small wedding ....we feel so sorry ....can't invite all of our friends here....but we still hope to get your blessings...."
    Are you saying to send these people, who are specifically not invited to a wedding, a registry card and a note making sure they know they're definitely not invited to this wedding?

    I'm having a hard time understanding what you're suggesting, with the ellipses do you mean they should insert other things there?

    Every way I read this comes off as unbelievably rude.
  • I think, you can send them your wedding gifts and cards reading " ... we plan a small wedding ....we feel so sorry ....can't invite all of our friends here....but we still hope to get your blessings...."
    Are you saying to send these people, who are specifically not invited to a wedding, a registry card and a note making sure they know they're definitely not invited to this wedding?

    I'm having a hard time understanding what you're suggesting, with the ellipses do you mean they should insert other things there?

    Every way I read this comes off as unbelievably rude.
    I got this same impression. OP you do not strike me as someone to be this rude to your friends, so please do not follow this advice.
    image
  • I would phrase it as "we're just asking family and wedding party to make the journey to our destination wedding. How's your mom/dad/brother/sister/daughter/son/ dog/cat doing?" 

    When I found out a friend was having a destination wedding and I could tell she was on the fence of inviting me/my fiance I told her we cant afford to go or take time off work. 
    If people know it's a destination wedding they will be a lot more understanding why they were not invited. 

     

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