Don't Have/Want a Registry, but Aunt Insists?

Re: Don't Have/Want a Registry, but Aunt Insists?

• missJeanLouise

  

  member

  December 2017

  eegonosenseidesu said:

  My out-of-town Aunt is throwing me a shower last minute. I was under the impression it was a relabeled family Christmas party (as we were already doing that), but now she's asking about gifts. I have no registry, nor do I want one. I tried to tell her that if anyone wants to give us something cash is preferred, but she's insisting. Do I go ahead and make a small registry or tell her it's not happening? Halp

  This is really up to you. If you don’t want a shower then don’t make a registry. If you are afraid people are going to buy you things regardless if there is a shower or not, maybe making a small registry isn’t a bad idea. We made a small amazon registry for things we always forget we want/need; i.e corn cob holders, new spatulas, small hand tools, etc. If you really don’t need/want anything then you should absolutely shut down the shower idea. The whole point of a shower is to “shower the honoree with gifts” and if people can’t do that then there is no point in doing it.

  

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• ILoveBeachMusic Indiana

  

  member

  December 2017

  Yes, if you agreed to a shower then you can't expect people to give you cash. The whole point of a shower is to give gifts. If you don't want gifts, don't have a shower. Be firm with your aunt about that. Of course, if people give you something you accept it and thank them for it. I think a small registry is a good idea because some people just prefer to give gifts instead of cash. With a registry at least you get something you want instead of a random gift that might not suit your needs.

  

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• STARMOON44

  

  member

  December 2017

  If you don’t want gifts don’t have a shower. Showers are not for cash. 

  

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• lovesclimbing Alaska

  

  member

  December 2017

  It is perfectly fine to have a shower without a registry. You don't have to make one in order to have a shower. However, you will get physical gifts. That's what showers are for, so it should be declined unless you're ok with that. 
  

  
  

  

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• thisismynickname2 City By The Lake

  

  member

  December 2017

  lovesclimbing said:

  It is perfectly fine to have a shower without a registry. You don't have to make one in order to have a shower. However, you will get physical gifts. That's what showers are for, so it should be declined unless you're ok with that. 
  

  That being said, I've never been to a shower without a registry. Wedding gifts are typically things for the home, and without a registry you could get a lot of things that aren't your taste. Or, a lot of silver picture frames. 
  So... I'd either decline the shower, or make a small registry so people understand your taste. 

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• banana468

  

  member

  December 2017

  I'll echo that you can have a shower without a registry but in doing so cash isn't OK and if I were you I'd make a registry or you will probably get a bunch of picture frames, wine flutes and photo albums.  

  

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• Jen4948 Houston

  

  member

  December 2017

  You can have a shower without a registry. You do not need to register for gifts just because she's "insisting."
  
  But regardless of whether you have one or not, the only acceptable gifts for showers are physical gifts, not cash. If you don't want to receive physical gifts, then you need to decline the shower. I would tell your aunt, "Aunt, I gave it a lot of thought, but as I really don't want physical gifts, I'd really rather not register for things I don't really want or have a shower. I'm sorry." 
  
  Something to bear in mind is that people can and probably will give you gifts whether or not you have a shower or a registry, and even if your aunt's party is not a shower. As long as each gift is promptly acknowledged with a gracious thank-you note to the giver, it then becomes yours to keep or discreetly dispose of as you see fit.
  
  

  

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