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Do you like this bridesmaid dress?

kahluakoalakahluakoala member
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in Wedding Party
So, I'm having a formal wedding at botanical gardens in 2019. I think my colors are going to be navy and champagne with ivory and greenery mixed in.

I'm super early, but have been poking around for BM dresses and I saw something I liked, but kind of wanted to clear it with strangers before I showed it to my BP. 

What do you think?

http://www.eshakti.com/product/CL0054605
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Re: Do you like this bridesmaid dress?

  • MobKazMobKaz member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Total disclaimer.....I have zero fashion sense and am an OMH, so keep that in mind.

    I have a few issues with the print.  I think it lessens the "formality" of the dress and makes it appear more casual.  The "dead center" location of the print will obviously draw the eye to the center/waistline of the dress.  If any of the BM's find that area of their body "problematic", then they may find that unflattering.  I personally would have an issue with a dress that accentuates my waistline with the print and the belt. 

    I wouldn't try so hard to "match" the theme of your venue.  Cater to your BM's and their comfort and taste level.
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
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    I like that dress. The cost is reasonable and it looks like a dress that could be actually worn again. Of course, you may change your mind multiple times before it's time to order, but I think you're on the right track.
                       
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  • kahluakoalakahluakoala member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    MobKaz said:
    Total disclaimer.....I have zero fashion sense and am an OMH, so keep that in mind.

    I have a few issues with the print.  I think it lessens the "formality" of the dress and makes it appear more casual.  The "dead center" location of the print will obviously draw the eye to the center/waistline of the dress.  If any of the BM's find that area of their body "problematic", then they may find that unflattering.  I personally would have an issue with a dress that accentuates my waistline with the print and the belt. 

    I wouldn't try so hard to "match" the theme of your venue.  Cater to your BM's and their comfort and taste level.

    Thanks, this is more of a casual "hey, whaddaya think, internet?" question because I also have no fashion sense haha. I hear you on the flattering thing, because I know I'm super picky about dresses and this is one I'd wear, BUT I haven't tried it on. My girls are all on the slender/average/athletic side, but I imagine someone might say the same about me but there are things I will NOT wear. I was hoping to get something where I had a few silhouette options in a similar dress, but also wanted something a little unique/not so bridesmaidy. 

    Just killing time during my days off, so thanks for the feedback!
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  • kahluakoalakahluakoala member
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    I should note - I *think* I want my girls in short dresses, mostly because I HATE long dresses and think cocktail dresses look so much more fun, but it's a nice wedding and I'm afraid it'll look weird/won't match the formality of the wedding. 
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
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    Is this a daytime or evening wedding?
                       
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  • MobKazMobKaz member
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    KahluaKoala said:
    I should note - I *think* I want my girls in short dresses, mostly because I HATE long dresses and think cocktail dresses look so much more fun, but it's a nice wedding and I'm afraid it'll look weird/won't match the formality of the wedding. 
    I'm totally with you on that point.  You can always get a solid color and "amp" them up with colorful bouquets.  A navy cocktail dress would be classic and could be gorgeous with bouquets of greens and flowers. 

    I agree with @MairePoppy that the price point is fantastic!  Other things to consider are floral scarves/shawls, or even a fun print shoe if it isn't too casual.  Of course, that you would have to fit into your budget.  My DD had flowers attached via a band to a clutch she purchased for her BM's.  A floral clutch could look pretty with some greens attached to it.  (I realize that was a trend several years ago.)

    Just thinking out loud.......
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  • kahluakoalakahluakoala member
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    Evening
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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Great dress for the engagement party! And I love that you're going with something other than white. It's getting old to see brides show up to every. single. event. in a white dress. Like, everyone knows you're the bride - be original. *sigh* anyway....

    In terms of formal fabric, I think of satin, silk, chiffon, tulle, lace. 

    Here's more what I'd look for:
    https://www.modcloth.com/shop/newarrivals/sleeveless-lace-sheath-dress/154792.html
    https://www.modcloth.com/shop/dresses/adrianna-papell-deco-beaded-a-line-dress/154248.html
    https://www.modcloth.com/shop/dresses/chi-chi-london-exquisite-elegance-lace-dress/147244.html
    https://www.renttherunway.com/shop/designers/theia/deep_midnight_sheath
    https://www.renttherunway.com/shop/designers/marchesa_notte/leila_dress

    And I'd look for navy. Your other colors will be very easy to incorporate with flowers and accessories.
    *********************************************************************************

    image
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  • kahluakoalakahluakoala member
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    southernbelle0915 said:
    Great dress for the engagement party! And I love that you're going with something other than white. It's getting old to see brides show up to every. single. event. in a white dress. Like, everyone knows you're the bride - be original. *sigh* anyway....

    In terms of formal fabric, I think of satin, silk, chiffon, tulle, lace. 

    Here's more what I'd look for:
    https://www.modcloth.com/shop/newarrivals/sleeveless-lace-sheath-dress/154792.html
    https://www.modcloth.com/shop/dresses/adrianna-papell-deco-beaded-a-line-dress/154248.html
    https://www.modcloth.com/shop/dresses/chi-chi-london-exquisite-elegance-lace-dress/147244.html
    https://www.renttherunway.com/shop/designers/theia/deep_midnight_sheath
    https://www.renttherunway.com/shop/designers/marchesa_notte/leila_dress

    And I'd look for navy. Your other colors will be very easy to incorporate with flowers and accessories.

    Great suggestions! I especially love the adrianna papell one! 

    I totally agree on the white for every wedding event ever thing. I was reading another wedding board and someone was asking if they could wear a bright floral dress with a white base to a bridal shower and basically everyone was like, "NO IS IT SO HARD TO NOT WEAR WHITE?!". I think it's so silly - like since when is floral not appropriate for a shower? Personally, white has never been my color, and I'm not about to start wearing it to every party ever. I'll probably go more on the blush/beige side for my wedding dress, even.
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  • kahluakoalakahluakoala member
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    Piggybacking off this - I'm finding the whole "wedding formality" level thing a bit confusing. 

    Like on all fronts except possibly BP attire, our wedding is ostensibly black tie. It's in the evening, premium open bar, live band, 12 butlered apps, 2 stations (raw bar and somethign else TBD), 2 sit down courses, Viennese dessert hour in addition to cake (basically, a fuck ton of food), has a valet, coat check, etc. It's in a big ballroom in a historic building and we have 200 guests. We're also having an afterparty in the venue with late night food, the bar will stay open, and a playlist (the band goes home lol). BUT my FI and I both tend to have more fun when we're wearing cocktail dresses and suits rather than floor length gowns and tuxes, so we're not stipulating black tie and if anyone asks we'll tell them formal (or - what I just said, cocktail dress and dark suit). But everything I read makes it seem like it's wrong to have an upscale event but not force everyone to dress uber fancy. And so far I've only shared wedding details with the internet and a few close friends and family, and they've all been like, "so you're going to put black tie, right? At least black tie optional or people will fuck it up" and we're like, "....nope". We also have no interest in spending an arm and a leg on flowers or caligraphed invitations. I'm hoping not saying "black tie" lets me cut corners in random places. But people seem surprised when I say things like, "oh probably doing short dresses for BMs", etc. Like, am I doing this wrong?

    My FI and I agreed first and foremost when wedding planning we wouldn't do things JUST for the pictures. We'd do them because we want them, our guests will appreciate it, or because it means something to us. To me, stipulating everyone wears a long dress constitutes a picture requirement and I'm not about that. 
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  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    KahluaKoala said:
    Piggybacking off this - I'm finding the whole "wedding formality" level thing a bit confusing. 

    Like on all fronts except possibly BP attire, our wedding is ostensibly black tie. It's in the evening, premium open bar, live band, 12 butlered apps, 2 stations (raw bar and somethign else TBD), 2 sit down courses, Viennese dessert hour in addition to cake (basically, a fuck ton of food), has a valet, coat check, etc. It's in a big ballroom in a historic building and we have 200 guests. We're also having an afterparty in the venue with late night food, the bar will stay open, and a playlist (the band goes home lol). BUT my FI and I both tend to have more fun when we're wearing cocktail dresses and suits rather than floor length gowns and tuxes, so we're not stipulating black tie and if anyone asks we'll tell them formal (or - what I just said, cocktail dress and dark suit). But everything I read makes it seem like it's wrong to have an upscale event but not force everyone to dress uber fancy. And so far I've only shared wedding details with the internet and a few close friends and family, and they've all been like, "so you're going to put black tie, right? At least black tie optional or people will fuck it up" and we're like, "....nope". We also have no interest in spending an arm and a leg on flowers or caligraphed invitations. I'm hoping not saying "black tie" lets me cut corners in random places. But people seem surprised when I say things like, "oh probably doing short dresses for BMs", etc. Like, am I doing this wrong?

    My FI and I agreed first and foremost when wedding planning we wouldn't do things JUST for the pictures. We'd do them because we want them, our guests will appreciate it, or because it means something to us. To me, stipulating everyone wears a long dress constitutes a picture requirement and I'm not about that. 
    I don’t see anything wrong with your plan; however as a guest I’d read that as a formal event and dress accordingly (in my circle that would be a long gown) and I’d feel a little weird if then the bridal party and/or bride and groom were much more casual than the rest of the event (and probably feel overdressed). I don’t think you should put anything about dress anywhere (invites, website), but I’d also find it odd you’re having a very formal wedding but casual dress. 
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  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    charlotte989875 said:
    KahluaKoala said:
    Piggybacking off this - I'm finding the whole "wedding formality" level thing a bit confusing. 

    Like on all fronts except possibly BP attire, our wedding is ostensibly black tie. It's in the evening, premium open bar, live band, 12 butlered apps, 2 stations (raw bar and somethign else TBD), 2 sit down courses, Viennese dessert hour in addition to cake (basically, a fuck ton of food), has a valet, coat check, etc. It's in a big ballroom in a historic building and we have 200 guests. We're also having an afterparty in the venue with late night food, the bar will stay open, and a playlist (the band goes home lol). BUT my FI and I both tend to have more fun when we're wearing cocktail dresses and suits rather than floor length gowns and tuxes, so we're not stipulating black tie and if anyone asks we'll tell them formal (or - what I just said, cocktail dress and dark suit). But everything I read makes it seem like it's wrong to have an upscale event but not force everyone to dress uber fancy. And so far I've only shared wedding details with the internet and a few close friends and family, and they've all been like, "so you're going to put black tie, right? At least black tie optional or people will fuck it up" and we're like, "....nope". We also have no interest in spending an arm and a leg on flowers or caligraphed invitations. I'm hoping not saying "black tie" lets me cut corners in random places. But people seem surprised when I say things like, "oh probably doing short dresses for BMs", etc. Like, am I doing this wrong?

    My FI and I agreed first and foremost when wedding planning we wouldn't do things JUST for the pictures. We'd do them because we want them, our guests will appreciate it, or because it means something to us. To me, stipulating everyone wears a long dress constitutes a picture requirement and I'm not about that. 
    I don’t see anything wrong with your plan; however as a guest I’d read that as a formal event and dress accordingly (in my circle that would be a long gown) and I’d feel a little weird if then the bridal party and/or bride and groom were much more casual than the rest of the event (and probably feel overdressed). I don’t think you should put anything about dress anywhere (invites, website), but I’d also find it odd you’re having a very formal wedding but casual dress. 
    I disagree. Cocktail dresses and suits are not casual dress. As you said, in your circle, it would be a long dress. In my circle cocktail dresses are routinely worn to non-black tie formal weddings. The only people (other than BP) that would be wearing long gowns would be the MOB and/or MOG. 
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  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
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    I'd suggest order the dress for yourself now as a "test run".   I'm NAF of that particular website, but that's another reason for the low risk "order it and try it"...  For that style, I'd keep an eye on places like Sears, JCP, Nordstrom's, Macy's and Bloomingdale's...

    Also, give it approximately another 8 months before you look at BM dresses because styles go out and you don't want to get your heart set on a particular dress only for it to go out of production.  The reason being bridesmaids change sizes, get pregnant, post partum body changes, add weight, drop weight, etc. thus ordering too far in advance can create huge logistical challenges for everyone especially if a replacement can't be ordered because it's out of production.  

    As for the formality, it's the "Little black dress" style you're going for with this BM dress which is nice in regard to the addition or subtraction of jewelry can change the level instantly.  Also, talk to your BM about their individual budgets unless you're planning to purchase these yourself for them to wear.  
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  • STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
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    I don’t like eShakti at all, the quality isn’t good to my eye. Nothing wrong with not having it be black tie, but that’s not a cocktail dress. If you’re not a big fashion person why not let them help find something? 
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  • downtondivadowntondiva member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Even without the "black tie" distinction, your wedding is still sounds pretty formal. While this dress is pretty, I don't think it matches that vibe at all; it looks more like what you'd wear to an informal daytime wedding. Your bridesmaids don't have to be in long dresses, but I think solid navy and a fancier fabric would be better. 

    All that being said, I agree with PP's that it is way too early to be looking at bridesmaid dresses. Focus on some other wedding planning stuff and come back to this later in the year.

    image
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited January 2018
    I'm not a fan based on the details you have shared with us so far.

    Trust me I get it.   I also had a premium open bar, 12 passed apps, 2 stationary apps, plus a raw bar (with a sushi roller).  We had a sit down 3 course dinner.  We didn't have a band, but a great DJ.

    Add in it was an evening wedding, well set the tone that it was formal, but DH refused to wear a suit, let alone a tux.   Our wedding was suppose to be on a beach (stupid tropical storm), so we were able to get away with a more casual attire.  Although we had to break some "rules" by putting on our FYI card in the invite envelope about attire.  And word of mouth.  Note:  Our guests were mostly Catholic church, country club or hotel ballroom, formal attire types, so our beach wedding was outside their norm.    They were so confused on what to wear.

    In your case, it's in a fancy ballroom, you have having a formal meal, band, all the makings of a formal wedding.   Your WP should reflect the formality.     No they don't need to be wearing expensive dresses, but something a little more formal than this.

    Another vote for them picking.   Why not pick a designer (or not) and let them pick a navy dress of their choice?   Then add color in the flowers?  

    One less thing you need to concern yourself with.  :wink::







    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • kahluakoalakahluakoala member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited January 2018
    Ha yeah - totally get it, looking again I don't totally know what I was thinking. I just want something unique and navy and not typical bridesmaidy. I like the idea of them picking.

    @Lyndausvi - We didn't set out to have a super fancy wedding, we just fucking love food! I've seen you say before that you did a wedding on the Jersey shore - my family has a house there and it's one of my favorite places in the world. 

    I probably will end up letting them pick in some capacity. Love the idea of picking a designer and letting them run with it so then you don't end up with slight variations of the color. I'd rather have totally mismatched BMs than slightly mismatched ones.

    We just booked our venue which has in-house catering, and we're going to book a band and a photog ASAP since we know they're popular and we'd rather have lots to choose from. Any other high priority vendors we should be booking ASAP (since I'm driving myself a little nuts wanting to do like, everything right away because I can).
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  • mollybarker11mollybarker11 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Agree with the others, it's a pretty dress but cotton poplin is more appropriate for a nice daytime event, not a formal evening event. (This knowledge does not come naturally, I'm still developing my sense of things like this!)

    @southernbelle0915 is right on when it comes to fabrics to look for. I especially love this one she suggested


    I think cocktail attire is perfectly fine for the (awesome-sounding) wedding you're planning. You're totally right that declaring it "black tie" would lock you into a precise level of hosting and potentially stress some guests into scrambling for gowns/tuxes. I don't get your fam/friend's comments about guests "fucking it up" by not showing up in evening-wear. As long as your invitations match the formality of the event (not necessarily engraved calligraphy, but elegant) your guests will be able to put it together and dress appropriately.
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