Wedding Party
SoonToBeSmith0512
member
Sub Zero Outdoor Pics - Help!
Hello knotties!
I’m looking for some advice about a wedding I’m going to be in next week. I am a bridesmaid in my good friend’s wedding, and even though temps have been and according to the forecast will continue to be around 0 and below with windchill, the bride insists on taking outdoor photos. Wahh!
Our dress is strapless, and it’s unclear whether my friend will be gifting us any sort of wrap or stole, but even assuming she is, I think it’s a little crazy to expect us to stand outside for three (yes three) hours for pictures before the ceremony. Popping outside for a shot or two in the snow would be one thing, but the plan for the full three hours is to take pics in one outdoor location.
What would you do? Part of me thinks she’s my friend and it’s her wedding day so I should smile and bear it, but the other part thinks I don’t want pneumonia! Realistically, what are my options? And yes, definitely planning to take a coat for in between pictures along with hand warmers, leggings for under the long dress, etc.
HELP!
I’m looking for some advice about a wedding I’m going to be in next week. I am a bridesmaid in my good friend’s wedding, and even though temps have been and according to the forecast will continue to be around 0 and below with windchill, the bride insists on taking outdoor photos. Wahh!
Our dress is strapless, and it’s unclear whether my friend will be gifting us any sort of wrap or stole, but even assuming she is, I think it’s a little crazy to expect us to stand outside for three (yes three) hours for pictures before the ceremony. Popping outside for a shot or two in the snow would be one thing, but the plan for the full three hours is to take pics in one outdoor location.
What would you do? Part of me thinks she’s my friend and it’s her wedding day so I should smile and bear it, but the other part thinks I don’t want pneumonia! Realistically, what are my options? And yes, definitely planning to take a coat for in between pictures along with hand warmers, leggings for under the long dress, etc.
HELP!
Re: Sub Zero Outdoor Pics - Help!
I would be blunt: no amount of love for a friend would have me outside in near zero temps without the appropriate clothing. If she's not giving all down coats and mittens you'll meet her inside.
Unless the bride is willing to have you dress in full coats AND boots, the answer is a hard "NO".
I cannot believe anyone is selfish and thoughtless enough to put themselves or anyone else through 3 hours of insanity. I have to wonder if the photographer will even limit the time outside because of how it might impact equipment. Even with limited time, I would still only cooperate with the proper attire.
I know someone who married in late October this past fall. The weekend prior the temps here were in the 70's. The wedding weekend saw temperatures in the 30's. This bride chose what amounted to an outdoor (tented) wedding with little to no heat. She insisted on some outdoor photos. They are all horrible. The BM's cannot mask the discomfort on their faces. They are all squinting from the wind. They way they wrapped themselves up in the flimsy shawls looks ridiculous. Many are posed with shrugged shoulders and crouched leg positions.
I would show up in a winter coat, hat, mittens, boots and tell her if she wants pictures outside that's the only way she's going to get them. I would also do what @banana468 suggested and bring up the facts about being outside in those temperatures. In some parts of the country, they close or delay school for those temps so that the children stay safe waiting for the bus. To me, that means no one needs to be outside for any sustained period of time.
My health is more important than a photo. A good friend would put my health and not a photo op as the priority. @STARMOON44 is also correct. She can't force you to be out there.
Like PPs said, tell her clearly how cold it will be, and then do what you're okay with.
One has to wonder if she's going to gift you a peacoat or the like expecting you to be outside that long. I've got a friend who officiated at his nephew's wedding last weekend and the bride did some outdoor pics, but they were VERY quickly done. Hope for a blizzard because the pictures outside won't happen if there's too much snow!
That said, we did not have our bridal party outside doing it as well.
That said, it's absurd to ask people to pose in weather that's unhealthy. It was 100 degrees on our wedding day and we held off on photos until evening so we didn't pass out.
My former parish Pastor had some restrictions but I have not heard of complete photography refusal. Photography during the Consecration and Communion were never allowed when he was Pastor. Photographers were shown "spots" from which they could take photos during Mass and could not stray from those points.
I also know that in Chicago, some people use Holy Name Cathedral more as a venue than house of worship. I believe they have a list of approved photographers that must be used if pictures will be taken during the ceremony. These photographers are familiar with church decorum and will be respectful.
It won't take long for you to get frost bite in a strapless gown and dress shoes. If the bride wants beautiful winter pics, let her and her husband go to it, alone. See how long they last out there. If you're still inclined to indulge them a few pics, wear your boots, gloves and winter coat.
Here's wishing your snow gets dirty and ugly before the big day.
We are at sub zero temps here today with a windchill that puts us at -27 degrees; I commuted to work by bus today in lined winter boots, a full length down maxi coat, scarf up to my eyeballs, hat , and gloves because at these temps frostbite can hit within 20mins or so.
I would under no circumstances whatsoever go outside in this weather in a flimsy strapless BM dress for any length of time.
Your friend need to seriously get a fucking grip. Tell her no, and if she tries to insist on the wedding day tell her no again and just walk away.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
Another vote for flat out no without appropriate clothes provided / "allowed". I have a friend who got married in Ohio around Christmas. Their bridal party pics had the women in peacoats and appropriate accessories with their dresses. There was no snow on the ground, though, and it didn't appear to be miserable like OP is describing.
Please provide updates!! :-D