Wedding Woes

Wednesday already :D

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Re: Wednesday already :D

  • MKD - Ask if your OB will let you Labor Down once you have reached full dilation.  Studies have shown that it helps prevent C-sections because it gives mom some time to rest before pushing starts.  My practice does this and their c-section rates were 20% lower than other local practices.  You basically rest for an hour prior to pushing.  I was about to start laboring down, when the doctor saw DDs head coming into view!

    Invest in a TENS machine.  You can attach the electrodes to your back in case you end up in back labor.  The TENS machine disrupts your pain signals to the brain to make them more bearable.  They are used prominently in British and Canadian maternity wards, so maybe your hospital will already use them.

    I was going to go as natural as possible.  I wanted one of the labor rooms with the tub instead of shower.  It didn't matter because I ended up with a balloon to help progress my labor.  I was mostly unable to walk with it in, so I stayed in bed.

    I was offered morphine as my non-epidural option.  Even with the breathing and massage techniques, it was pretty ineffective and my contractions weren't very powerful yet.  Eventually my face began to tingle and my nurse said it was because I was hyperventilating while trying to do my breathing. I held out another hour or so and asked for the epidural.  Life was amazing after that.  I too am scared of needles, which was why I was trying to stay away from the epidural.  The epidural ended up being the easiest needle I got during my stay!  Hurt a hell of a lot less than the shot in my ass for the steroid for DDs lungs!

    H was great support to me.  He held my hand for every contraction once I moved over to the delivery room.  We just had our phones.  They did have cable and musical options for us on the TV in the delivery room.  We worked through every mediation musical selection they had!  We also watched a bit of TV.  Once I had my epidural, we both were able to take naps.  My mom was there for about 6 hours of my labor to help pass the time.  She stayed with me while H went to the cafeteria to get food.  Since I could only have ice chips, I didn't want him eating in front of me!

    Lastly, some women poop during labor.  Its nbd to the doctors, but warn M!  My H didn't know that could happen! 

  • @OliveOilsMom Never heard of "labouring down" so I'm glad you mentioned it! I'll ask. OB did mention that she'd rather not do c-section unless necessary and their office is a big advocate of "i can push" for women after c-sections.

    HAHAHAHA Okay, so on going 'joke' {I'm serious, he laughs} I have told M multiple times that if they ask if he wants to see the crowning I will veto his ass and say no. He can cut the cord {if he wants}, but no crowning.
    Why?
    - in case I poop {serious fear}
    - I don't need him seeing my vag a 10cm - not because he'll be weirded out, but personal future intimacy issues
    - he doesn't need to imho

    He laughs because he says he won't be weirded/grossed out, but I'm like "dude, this isn't even things on your end. It's more my opinion of myself."
  • Ha pooping during labor was one of my concerns. Well really I don't think I was afraid of it as opposed to fixated on it. My H just thought I was weird.  
  • Some of you may remember me posting last week or maybe two weeks ago about a college friend who's adopted daughter no longer shows up in family photos on FB. Someone on her picture had commented about where the daughter was. I kept checking back to see if she responded but instead the comment was deleted on the photo! Making it even more intriguing for my nosy-ness. 
  • kvruns said:
    Some of you may remember me posting last week or maybe two weeks ago about a college friend who's adopted daughter no longer shows up in family photos on FB. Someone on her picture had commented about where the daughter was. I kept checking back to see if she responded but instead the comment was deleted on the photo! Making it even more intriguing for my nosy-ness. 
    Now I really want to know what happened. 
  • kvruns said:
    Ha pooping during labor was one of my concerns. Well really I don't think I was afraid of it as opposed to fixated on it. My H just thought I was weird.  
    I'm not gonna lie, it's weird. I think because we all think about that as a private moment, as opposed to "welcome to the show, staring my vagina!" 
  • @OliveOilsMom Never heard of "labouring down" so I'm glad you mentioned it! I'll ask. OB did mention that she'd rather not do c-section unless necessary and their office is a big advocate of "i can push" for women after c-sections.

    HAHAHAHA Okay, so on going 'joke' {I'm serious, he laughs} I have told M multiple times that if they ask if he wants to see the crowning I will veto his ass and say no. He can cut the cord {if he wants}, but no crowning.
    Why?
    - in case I poop {serious fear}
    - I don't need him seeing my vag a 10cm - not because he'll be weirded out, but personal future intimacy issues
    - he doesn't need to imho

    He laughs because he says he won't be weirded/grossed out, but I'm like "dude, this isn't even things on your end. It's more my opinion of myself."

    In a previous life that I am not proud of, I watched a couple seasons of "Toddlers and Tiaras".  They use the term "crowning" when talking about the end of the pageant, when the winners are announced.

    My H, who has had a total of 4 kids with his ex-wives, would die of laughter every time he heard it.  To him, his strong association with that word was only in relation to child birth and it was a real disconnect for him to hear it used in a different context.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • S+S I didn't realize your H had kids.  LOL at the difference with crowning though!
  • @mkd - DK was in the room with me for nearly everything except the epidural insertions - I'm not sure if this is a universal thing, or just a hospital/doctor-specific policy.  They induced me at 10am with cervidil and Pitocin - induction was unexpected, but my stats had started to decline (pre-e) overnight, so they wanted to get me started ASAP. I think I was in bed from that point on until ~18-24 hours after giving birth, so about 2.5 days. DK was at home and was cooking so as soon as he was able (maybe 6 hours or so later) he came to the hospital. Hospital had cable and wi-fi, but their wi-fi was restrictive (I guess to limit staff access.) I was online while I was waiting for DK to get there/until the contractions got too distracting.

    They had to rupture my membranes, and DK got a front row seat to that ("They basically shoved a huge knitting needle in your vagina and swirled it around until you sent fort a tidal wave. Thankfully I was not in the splash zone.")

    I was in labor for 30+ hours until my emergency C-section, so anything to help sleep was good. That was the best way to pass the time because on top of the whole labor thing, I had a full blown migraine, intense heat sensitivity from the drugs, my sinuses were shot, and mouth was dry. Stadol was my favorite drug because they would shoot it into my IV line, and I'd be loopy in a minute, and out cold in 3. They were alternating that and Demerol until they gave me the first epidural. I say first epidural because it wasn't placed right, and needed to be redone. (I don't blame the anesthesiologist for this - I was still really doped up and couldn't give great feedback. "can you feel your legs?" "I can't feel anything but I can hear ringing in my ears" About an hour later I could feel EVERYTHING, so we knew it wasn't placed right. The second epidural was placed right, but the medicine pump wasn't working right, so I got to a point where I was in full blown labor (close to pushing) and could feel everything. This was not working for me, so finally the anesthesiologist just shot something into my line to calm me down.

    I didn't poop. (Yay!) but I also got wheeled into the OR for an emergency C-section when I was about 9cm, so no pushing. DK doesn't do well with medical stuff, so I applaud him for not passing out. However this also means he wouldn't photograph over the curtain for me. I was puking in the OR - in between telling DK he wasn't allowed to pass out and getting a baby yanked out of me. The OR anesthesiologist was amazing. I have no idea what his name was, but he was catching puke, letting me rinse my mouth out, and then knocked me out cold by the time they were stitching me up.

    I ended up on hospital bed rest before we ever toured the maternity ward, or took birthing classes (it was scheduled for the week I delivered), or asked any of the questions - so my only advice is that if you're wanting to go in prepared, do it REALLY early.

  • banana468 said:
    I think you're in Canada and I don't know about your hospital but when I was in labor with my kids, the doctor visits were not frequent until I was ready to push out the baby.   Even nursing visits were mostly for paperwork.   It was a sharp wake up call to reality when we saw how busy things were.  
    I'm currently at OB every 4 weeks until end of March, then every 2 weeks until 30 something weeks .... then every week.

    She mentioned to pre-sign up for hospital so we can book a walk through after 30 or so weeks, to get a feel of the place and see ideas they have. I know one hospital has a bunch of options, but they were just renovated so idk.
    Sorry - I mean physical visits by the OB when I was in labor.   The frequency will increase as you get closer but they're just not really in the room unless you're in the throws of needing something.

    Also, at least when I had my two kids, I wasn't all the way there.   I was induced for DD and all natural for DS and in both situations it wasn't like any kind of panic attack or anxiety I had.   DH said that I took long pauses between words and it took me seconds to focus on the ability to answer simple questions.  Labor wasn't just pain for me.   It was a complete mind/body experience.   I don't say that to freak you out but my own experience was that as I transitioned I wasn't just having pains.   It was a whole new world. 
  • kvruns said:
    S+S I didn't realize your H had kids.  LOL at the difference with crowning though!
    Me neither.

    This is literally what happened with "making out" vs "fooling around" in my age group vs my mum's age group {which she is 56 currently fyi}
  • kvruns said:
    S+S I didn't realize your H had kids.  LOL at the difference with crowning though!
    Me neither.

    This is literally what happened with "making out" vs "fooling around" in my age group vs my mum's age group {which she is 56 currently fyi}

    Haha, yep.  All four are girls.  It rarely comes up because they all live in Oregon, where he is originally from.  Plus, he is 10 years older than me and in his early 50s, so they aren't even "kids" anymore.  The oldest is in her 30s and the youngest is in her early 20s.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • My laugh for the day, because I'm in a sassy mood.

    I'm on the e-mail list of a guy who sells/promotes a variety of real estate investing courses and tools.  Right now, he is promoting a 3-day seminar he is holding in April.  I've been getting about one e-mail/day about it for the last week.

    Here's my laugh part.  He keeps talking about how he could easily sell 750+ tickets, but wants to keep it personalized for everyone who attends and so he is limiting the tickets to 250 and they will sell out soon.

    Umm...okay.  I'm wondering if he also sees the head tilt in blasting his contact list on a daily basis when supposedly he could "easily" sell 750+ tickets, lol.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • @OliveOilsMom Never heard of "labouring down" so I'm glad you mentioned it! I'll ask. OB did mention that she'd rather not do c-section unless necessary and their office is a big advocate of "i can push" for women after c-sections.

    HAHAHAHA Okay, so on going 'joke' {I'm serious, he laughs} I have told M multiple times that if they ask if he wants to see the crowning I will veto his ass and say no. He can cut the cord {if he wants}, but no crowning.
    Why?
    - in case I poop {serious fear}
    - I don't need him seeing my vag a 10cm - not because he'll be weirded out, but personal future intimacy issues
    - he doesn't need to imho

    He laughs because he says he won't be weirded/grossed out, but I'm like "dude, this isn't even things on your end. It's more my opinion of myself."


    DD came early, so there were things we hadn't really discussed.  Like will H cut the cord.  Are we saving cord blood?  The cord was thrust at H with scissors, so he just grabbed them and cut.  We did not save cord blood.

    As for keeping M away from watching you crown and push.  Your legs will be bent and up to your chin at times, so even if he is by your head, he will probably see things.  Again, we had no specific plan, so the doctor just told H to grab one leg to help me.  He did it.  We have no intimacy problems now.  Remember that this is child birth, nothing romantic!  I think men can departmentalize the two!  Also, think about or ask M how he feels about watching his child come into the world and take his/her first breath.  His answer may help alleviate some of your fears.

  • @OliveOilsMom Never heard of "labouring down" so I'm glad you mentioned it! I'll ask. OB did mention that she'd rather not do c-section unless necessary and their office is a big advocate of "i can push" for women after c-sections.

    HAHAHAHA Okay, so on going 'joke' {I'm serious, he laughs} I have told M multiple times that if they ask if he wants to see the crowning I will veto his ass and say no. He can cut the cord {if he wants}, but no crowning.
    Why?
    - in case I poop {serious fear}
    - I don't need him seeing my vag a 10cm - not because he'll be weirded out, but personal future intimacy issues
    - he doesn't need to imho

    He laughs because he says he won't be weirded/grossed out, but I'm like "dude, this isn't even things on your end. It's more my opinion of myself."


    DD came early, so there were things we hadn't really discussed.  Like will H cut the cord.  Are we saving cord blood?  The cord was thrust at H with scissors, so he just grabbed them and cut.  We did not save cord blood.

    As for keeping M away from watching you crown and push.  Your legs will be bent and up to your chin at times, so even if he is by your head, he will probably see things.  Again, we had no specific plan, so the doctor just told H to grab one leg to help me.  He did it.  We have no intimacy problems now.  Remember that this is child birth, nothing romantic!  I think men can departmentalize the two!  Also, think about or ask M how he feels about watching his child come into the world and take his/her first breath.  His answer may help alleviate some of your fears.

    In the assumption baby comes early is why I wanna ask questions early on.

    He currently says he has zero issues about seeing that so I'll admit that's entirely on my end.
    My mum recently said "Well he's also now seeing you as a mother"
    To which I responded "I'm obviously going to be a MILF :| like Stiffler's mum!" {we quip american pie often}

    I know it's me just over thinking it .... but it's just, idk weird? Idk what the proper word is.
  • lyndausvi said:
    HAPPY NEW YEAR!

    I'm off today.  We are heading to Denver so DH can meet with a Gastro-bypass surgeon.   It's the first meeting.  I'm on the fence on whether he needs to go this route.   But DH seems to think this is the answer.  I guess I will see what the doctor has to say.

    Work is so slow right now.  We haven't had snow since xmas.  Skiing SUCKS.   It's a wonder people even come up to us it's so bad.  So far 3 employees have hurt themselves (one was on his off day, other 2 getting to/from work).  We need snow so bad.  I wonder how long we can stay open.

    :cry:
    @lyndausvi, so is gastro bypass the same as gastric bypass? every google search came up with gastric, so sorry if this isn't a weight loss surgery! I will be getting the gastric sleeve on the 22nd!  All my friends are so supportive.  My family thinks I can do this on my own.  Apparently, I cannot do this on my own :(  Good luck!

  • lyndausvi said:
    HAPPY NEW YEAR!

    I'm off today.  We are heading to Denver so DH can meet with a Gastro-bypass surgeon.   It's the first meeting.  I'm on the fence on whether he needs to go this route.   But DH seems to think this is the answer.  I guess I will see what the doctor has to say.

    Work is so slow right now.  We haven't had snow since xmas.  Skiing SUCKS.   It's a wonder people even come up to us it's so bad.  So far 3 employees have hurt themselves (one was on his off day, other 2 getting to/from work).  We need snow so bad.  I wonder how long we can stay open.

    :cry:
    @lyndausvi, so is gastro bypass the same as gastric bypass? every google search came up with gastric, so sorry if this isn't a weight loss surgery! I will be getting the gastric sleeve on the 22nd!  All my friends are so supportive.  My family thinks I can do this on my own.  Apparently, I cannot do this on my own :(  Good luck!
    it is.  Stupid auto-correct.

    Good luck with your surgery.

    @CharmedPam I'm trying to be supportive, but my husband seems to think this is a quick fix instead of a complete lifestyle change it really is.      

    I'm not sure he completely gets it because all he talks about is how we have to pay for it out-of-pocket (insurance will not pick it up at all) and when is the earliest he can schedule the surgery.    Nothing about how he will have to eat differently, etc.

    He has his first classes and appts with behavior therapist and nutritionist at the end of the month.   I guess he has to do this for at least 3 months.  I think I will feel a better once his focus is off costs and and when and more on how much this is going to change his life.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • lyndausvi said:

    it is.  Stupid auto-correct.

    Good luck with your surgery.

    @CharmedPam I'm trying to be supportive, but my husband seems to think this is a quick fix instead of a complete lifestyle change it really is.      

    I'm not sure he completely gets it because all he talks about is how we have to pay for it out-of-pocket (insurance will not pick it up at all) and when is the earliest he can schedule the surgery.    Nothing about how he will have to eat differently, etc.

    He has his first classes and appts with behavior therapist and nutritionist at the end of the month.   I guess he has to do this for at least 3 months.  I think I will feel a better once his focus is off costs and and when and more on how much this is going to change his life.
    I would find it really hard to use a doctor who didn't stress the lifestyle changes, and make a patient show their commitment to change before performing the surgery. Maybe i've seen one too many episodes of my 600 lb life, but i think that Dr. N's policy that they have to lose 25-30lbs/month for at least 2 months before he'll do surgery is a good one.
    I have a coworker that did the sleeve or band (it wasn't a bypass, but i don't remember the specific device) and his recovery was rough because of the lifestyle adjustments. If he wasn't really disciplined with qty and the dietary recommendations, it would make him really sick. 
  • lyndausvi said:
    lyndausvi said:
    HAPPY NEW YEAR!

    I'm off today.  We are heading to Denver so DH can meet with a Gastro-bypass surgeon.   It's the first meeting.  I'm on the fence on whether he needs to go this route.   But DH seems to think this is the answer.  I guess I will see what the doctor has to say.

    Work is so slow right now.  We haven't had snow since xmas.  Skiing SUCKS.   It's a wonder people even come up to us it's so bad.  So far 3 employees have hurt themselves (one was on his off day, other 2 getting to/from work).  We need snow so bad.  I wonder how long we can stay open.

    :cry:
    @lyndausvi, so is gastro bypass the same as gastric bypass? every google search came up with gastric, so sorry if this isn't a weight loss surgery! I will be getting the gastric sleeve on the 22nd!  All my friends are so supportive.  My family thinks I can do this on my own.  Apparently, I cannot do this on my own :(  Good luck!
    it is.  Stupid auto-correct.

    Good luck with your surgery.

    @CharmedPam I'm trying to be supportive, but my husband seems to think this is a quick fix instead of a complete lifestyle change it really is.      

    I'm not sure he completely gets it because all he talks about is how we have to pay for it out-of-pocket (insurance will not pick it up at all) and when is the earliest he can schedule the surgery.    Nothing about how he will have to eat differently, etc.

    He has his first classes and appts with behavior therapist and nutritionist at the end of the month.   I guess he has to do this for at least 3 months.  I think I will feel a better once his focus is off costs and and when and more on how much this is going to change his life.
    I will agree the surgery is not for everyone.  I know I overeat, and I truly would LOVE to eat less. I'm OK with no carbs as long as the meat/veggies fill me up.  I can out eat my H.  He had the Nissen fundoplication years ago and eats like a gastric surgery patient so he really wont be affected by this. The behavioral therapist does (or should) let you know how little you'll be eating and drinking and really tries to tell you how emotionally changing it is (lets face it, over eaters love food!). I also had to be under a supervised diet for 6 months with my insurance showing a weight loss (no number goal, just a weight loss of some sort)!  It was to show my insurance company I can change my way of eating (much like Dr. Now's requirement in 600 lb life  yes).  I don't know if i could do this without my insurance picking it up.    I hope it all works out for him.

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