Wedding Etiquette Forum

Gifts

I am the bride and am wondering who all I need to get a gift for besides:
Mother and Father of bride
Mother of Groom  
Father of Groom 
Mother of Groom boyfriend--he is buying our alcohol--

I already got my bridesmaids gifts when I asked them to be bridesmaids and am paying tip and for a second hair dresser and makeup artist so they don't have to get up so early---Do I need to get them more gifts?

Do I have to get the Maid and two Matrons special gifts?
I bought the flower girl attire and Ring barer attire--do I need to also get them gifts?

Groomsmen we are paying some towards their accommodations and bought them gifts to ask them to be groomsmen  --Do I have to buy them gifts? 

Just curious----Why do we have to buy so many gifts --sometimes two for the same people? If they aren't helping with planning or anything, but just showing up day of--do we still have to buy? 

I feel like there are so many rules that aren't always followed and depend on formality, culture, the people themselves,  etc 

Re: Gifts

  • When I asked them to be in the bridal party I got them champagne, bath bombs, champagne glasses, and nice robes . 

    I got the groomsmen special bottle openers made from bullets. 

    I already bought my parents and his mom a gift for the day of . (lost of what to get father of groom-- is alcohol inappropriate?)


    We put money towards accomodations for everyone in bridal party to limit any financial burden so all they have to pay for is their dress/shoes and if they want to get their makeup done. They did not want to wake up early so I paid  for a second person to arrive so that they could wake up at 10:00 am. I thought that was a nice little gift or notion--though my MIL thinks that they should all have to pay for that. 


    I was still planning on getting them something--but not as big as a gift as before . Just something small to say thank you -- I just don't want to spend another 500 dollars on this . I was hoping socks for the groomsmen or a pocket watch or a baseball bat (engraved) and little stuff for the bridesmaids they like.

    The Parents I was going to spend around 80 a person.  

     TBH, no wedding I have ever been to has done gifts. I am planning by myself and I feel like there are so many rules and different situations.






  • 1) BMs and GMs
    You should still give your BMs and GMs gifts for standing next to you on your wedding day. Gifts you purchased to ask them to stand up for you don't count toward this. Things you're doing for them related to the wedding (hiring a second hair dresser or MUA, jewelry they're supposed to wear the day of, covering hotel, etc.) do not count as a gift.

    2) FG and RB
    Yes, you should get them gifts. These do not have to be large or fancy. Just small tokens the kids would appreciate.
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  • Thank you @MRDCle that is really helpful. I will start looking now for things that are more tailored to them specifically. 
  • You still need to give your wedding party members gifts that are not related to their roles in your wedding. I would shop for them individually and not try to give them all the same thing.

    Also, while your wedding party members may feel differently about receiving robes and bath bombs as gifts, these are things I would not want to receive - especially if they were "personalized."
  • My bridal party all loved the gifts I got them actually, I got robes tailored  to their taste, as well as champagne glasses and bath bombs different for each person. 
    I think  @banana468 had a great idea. Thank you! I think I might get them each something small which they would like.  
  • I am surprised at how many people think the parents of the bride and groom should be given gifts at the wedding.  This was not the custom in the old days.  My daughter gave me a hug, a "Thank you, Mom!  It was perfect!", and a box of chocolates.  (See's truffles!)
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  • Yes, you are right.  My daughter knows what to give her chocolaholic mother!
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  • CMGragain said:
    I am surprised at how many people think the parents of the bride and groom should be given gifts at the wedding.  This was not the custom in the old days.  My daughter gave me a hug, a "Thank you, Mom!  It was perfect!", and a box of chocolates.  (See's truffles!)


    For me, I gave gifts as a thank-you to my mom, stepfather, and grandmother.  My grandmother gave me money for my wedding dress.  My mom/stepfather paid for and had the wedding and reception at their home. 

    I got my mom and my grandmother personalized hankerchefs and picture frames.  I brought my stepfather food and seasoning things that he's liked when they've visited me, but can't get in CA.  Like alligator sausage, he loves that. 

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