Pre-wedding Parties

XP Bridal Shower with No Registry?

Hi everyone.  I am the maid of honor in an upcoming wedding.  The bride has chosen not to register, as she and her fiance are already living together and have everything they need for their home.  They've made it clear that the only thing they would like is money toward the honeymoon.  I'm not 100% sure, but I think they may have set up a honeymoon registry.

The problem is, the other bridesmaids still want to throw her a bridal shower and I'm sure the bride is expecting one.  Honestly, I would love to throw her a bridal shower, but I'm not sure how that works if you're not registered anywhere.  I mean, the thought of inviting people to a bridal shower and just requesting cash seems so rude and seems like such a breach of etiquette to me.  Also, I thought the whole point of a bridal shower was to watch the bride open up gifts.  If people are giving to a honeymoon fund, there would be no gifts to open.

The other bridesmaids seem to see no problem with sending invitations out requesting cash gifts and/or donations to the honeymoon fund.  I just can't get behind it.  But at the same time, I don't want to cause a problem and I don't want the bride to not get a shower.  I don't know the other bridesmaids well at all and I don't want to make anyone mad or upset.

I've been trying to think of ways around this.  I've tried hinting to the bride that maybe she wants to create a small registry just of things she'll need for the wedding.  She could register for picture frames and albums for wedding pictures, a cake topper, toasting glasses, cake serving set, guest book or signature frame, aisle runner, etc.  That way guests who want to give a physical gift can do so.  I'm also thinking that if her registry is really small people will probably take the hint that she mainly wants cash, do you think so? 

However, I don't know if the bride will go for this idea.  She seems adamant about no registry.  So if she forgoes the registry, what are my options?  It seems they're going ahead with the shower with or without me and I really don't want to let the bride down.  Is there any less rude way of doing this?  Maybe we can send invitations out with no registry info, no mention of cash or gifts at all, and then if people ask we can tell them, "Oh, Bride has not actually registered, but she is saving up for a honeymoon!"  Something along those lines maybe?  Any advice or suggestions are greatly appreciated!  I really want to make everyone happy without being rude to the guests!
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Re: XP Bridal Shower with No Registry?

  • CMGragainCMGragain
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    edited January 16
    walgrrl said:
    Hi everyone.  I am the maid of honor in an upcoming wedding.  The bride has chosen not to register, as she and her fiance are already living together and have everything they need for their home.  They've made it clear that the only thing they would like is money toward the honeymoon.  I'm not 100% sure, but I think they may have set up a honeymoon registry.

    The problem is, the other bridesmaids still want to throw her a bridal shower and I'm sure the bride is expecting one.  Honestly, I would love to throw her a bridal shower, but I'm not sure how that works if you're not registered anywhere.  I mean, the thought of inviting people to a bridal shower and just requesting cash seems so rude and seems like such a breach of etiquette to me.  Also, I thought the whole point of a bridal shower was to watch the bride open up gifts.  If people are giving to a honeymoon fund, there would be no gifts to open.

    The other bridesmaids seem to see no problem with sending invitations out requesting cash gifts and/or donations to the honeymoon fund.  I just can't get behind it.  But at the same time, I don't want to cause a problem and I don't want the bride to not get a shower.  I don't know the other bridesmaids well at all and I don't want to make anyone mad or upset.

    I've been trying to think of ways around this.  I've tried hinting to the bride that maybe she wants to create a small registry just of things she'll need for the wedding.  She could register for picture frames and albums for wedding pictures, a cake topper, toasting glasses, cake serving set, guest book or signature frame, aisle runner, etc.  That way guests who want to give a physical gift can do so.  I'm also thinking that if her registry is really small people will probably take the hint that she mainly wants cash, do you think so? 

    However, I don't know if the bride will go for this idea.  She seems adamant about no registry.  So if she forgoes the registry, what are my options?  It seems they're going ahead with the shower with or without me and I really don't want to let the bride down.  Is there any less rude way of doing this?  Maybe we can send invitations out with no registry info, no mention of cash or gifts at all, and then if people ask we can tell them, "Oh, Bride has not actually registered, but she is saving up for a honeymoon!"  Something along those lines maybe?  Any advice or suggestions are greatly appreciated!  I really want to make everyone happy without being rude to the guests!
    Requesting cash is completely taboo!  The bolded is the only polite way to do this.  I question why this bride even needs a shower?  Showers are not required, especially if the bride does not want physical gifts.  What fun would it be watching her open envelopes containing money?  Since she did not register, she will probably receive some gifts if you go through with this shower.

    Why did you post this on so many boards?  It isn't necessary.  We all read the different boards.
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