Dear Prudence,
I have a longtime friend who opened up her own family therapy practice a few years ago. She is a great person and a credit to her profession, but more and more often she is unable to “shut off” her advice-giving. She’ll give her “professional opinion” and suggest techniques for others to try, without being asked, in private conversations, in group settings, at parties, at church, and on social media.
You might think, “This is great! Free professional advice!” as I did at first, but instead of feeling heard as a friend, I feel like my whole life is up for comment or criticism. Helping others is so much a part of who she is I think she has trouble realizing that this can be annoying and off-putting. Recently, without prompting, she sent me an email suggesting that my relationship with my 10-year-old daughter is in need of repair, along with some strategies that made me feel like she views me as a bad or incompetent parent. I was very offended. I want to preserve my friendship with her, but is there a kind way to tell her she needs to “clock off” from her job as a therapist when we are together? Should I walk away from a friendship that feels very forced now? Or should I just lay down on her couch and have her bill me?
—Therapized