Knottie Tech Help

Invitation etiquette

We received an email from my husband's brother that said that only my husband and son were going to receive an invitation to his son's upcoming wedding.  I was being excluded as was our daughter.  We are not close to this family, in fact haven't spent any time with them for over 5 years.   I think this is rude and that we should simply wait for the formal invitation and then send regrets.  Am I wrong thinking we should just politely bow out?  

Re: Invitation etiquette

  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing Alaska
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    member
    edited January 19
    @knotadmin @KnotHolly This should be moved to etiquette. 

    OP, just FYI, this section of the website is for help with website issues. You might want to repost in the Etiquette board for more responses because the people that can move things from this board over there seem to come on the site very rarely.

    That said, this is very rude of the bride and groom. Honesty, I would probably reach out if I were your husband because they obviously don't understand wedding etiquette. If I were your husband, I would contact my brother back and say something like, "Hey, I don't understand why we're getting this email. My wife and I are a package deal and etiquette requires husband and wives be invited together, and I don't understand why she's not welcome. Can you reconsider?"

    And if they won't budge, I'd definitely decline if I were your husband. This is a very rude snub. 

    Do you know why they don't want you there?

  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    We received an email from my husband's brother that said that only my husband and son were going to receive an invitation to his son's upcoming wedding.  I was being excluded as was our daughter.  We are not close to this family, in fact haven't spent any time with them for over 5 years.   I think this is rude and that we should simply wait for the formal invitation and then send regrets.  Am I wrong thinking we should just politely bow out?  
    Welcome. 

    You are posting on a board that deals with technical issues.  Take some time to look at the various boards so that you know where to post your comments and questions to get the best responses.  You might want to look for the etiquette board and repost your concerns there.

    Right now you only have a rumor.  Wait until you actually receive the invitation.  There are only a few ways an invitation can be extended.  The invitation can include you and your husband, and omit the children.  Couples can choose to host adult only weddings.  An entire family can be invited.  It is NOT appropriate to split a couple or a family.

    If the invitation excludes you, then it is appropriate to decline.  Is there any reason why they would be so rude?

  • Thanks, I will move this to another board as suggested.  Quickly say that, honestly he doesn't like any of us but is getting pressure from his mother to invite his only brother.  Apparently my daughter grunted a "hello" to him the last time they met so she's not going to get an invitation to the wedding.  
    Childish I know but I believe this is what we are dealing with.  

  • CMGragainCMGragain
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    edited January 19
    Thanks, I will move this to another board as suggested.  Quickly say that, honestly he doesn't like any of us but is getting pressure from his mother to invite his only brother.  Apparently my daughter grunted a "hello" to him the last time they met so she's not going to get an invitation to the wedding.  
    Childish I know but I believe this is what we are dealing with.  

    Who told you this?  Someone is the family is baiting you.  Don't play their games.  Wait until you receive the actual invitation before you get worried.  Don't listen to family gossip.
    Your FBIL is not required to invite your daughter.  You must be invited with your husband, though.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • CMGragain said:
    Thanks, I will move this to another board as suggested.  Quickly say that, honestly he doesn't like any of us but is getting pressure from his mother to invite his only brother.  Apparently my daughter grunted a "hello" to him the last time they met so she's not going to get an invitation to the wedding.  
    Childish I know but I believe this is what we are dealing with.  

    Who told you this?  Someone is the family is baiting you.  Don't play their games.  Wait until you receive the actual invitation before you get worried.  Don't listen to family gossip.
    Your FBIL is not required to invite your daughter.  You must be invited with your husband, though.
    OP Stated that her husband and her son are both invited, so if the daughter and son are both adolescents than it would also be rude to not invite the daughter. Granted, we don't know and the son may be an adult and the daughter not, but I would still side eye that.
    image
  • CMGragainCMGragain
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    edited January 22
    justsie said:
    CMGragain said:
    Thanks, I will move this to another board as suggested.  Quickly say that, honestly he doesn't like any of us but is getting pressure from his mother to invite his only brother.  Apparently my daughter grunted a "hello" to him the last time they met so she's not going to get an invitation to the wedding.  
    Childish I know but I believe this is what we are dealing with.  

    Who told you this?  Someone is the family is baiting you.  Don't play their games.  Wait until you receive the actual invitation before you get worried.  Don't listen to family gossip.
    Your FBIL is not required to invite your daughter.  You must be invited with your husband, though.
    OP Stated that her husband and her son are both invited, so if the daughter and son are both adolescents than it would also be rude to not invite the daughter. Granted, we don't know and the son may be an adult and the daughter not, but I would still side eye that.
    Oh, I agree,.  My point is that the invitation has not yet been received, so the OP only knows this information from the family grapevine.  Things could change before the invitations are actually sent out.

    When my FMIL was planning the rehearsal dinner at her home, I was told by the grapevine that my mother was not invited.  (Yeah, they hated each other!)  Turned out not to be true, but it caused a lot of drama.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards