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Invitation wording

minealoneminealone member
First Comment 5 Love Its
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
hey all, so I’ve been looking at the proper etiquette for wedding invites. My understanding is wording is based on who is paying, and I’m a bit overwhelmed. 

FI and I are paying for the ceremony costs and making all the decorations/flowers/lighting/centerpieces for the wedding. We have friends who offered to DJ, bartend, take wedding pictures, and his godparents have offered us their backyard for the reception site. His parents (who has different last names) are paying for everything else (mainly catering and rentals, and hosting the rehearsal dinner)

So.. how do I word my invites? 

Thank you 
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Re: Invitation wording

  • minealoneminealone member
    First Comment 5 Love Its
    I guess I assumed that whoever is “hosting” is whoever is paying.. thanks for the help!
    Report Reply
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited November 2017
    The rehearsal dinner invitation is completely separate from your wedding invitation, but, like your wedding invitation, it comes from the HOSTS.  Who is hosting your wedding?
    If your wedding is being hosted by your FILS, it would be this:

    Ms. Jane Smith and Mr. John Jones (married couple)
    request the pleasure of your company
    at the marriage of
    Ms. Bride's Full Name
    to their son
    Groom's First Middle
    Day, date
    four o'clock
    Venue
    Address
    Anytown, Iowa

    This means that they will stand in the reception line with you and help greet your guests.  Your guests will also thank them for the invitation since they are the hosts.

    If you are hosting your own wedding, no host is named.  It goes like this:

    The pleasure of your company is requested
    at the marriage of
    Bride's Full Name
    and
    Groom's Full Name
    (etc.)

    Then there is this, which is NOT traditional, but it is often used these days:

    Together with their families
    Bride's Full Name
    and
    Groom's Full Name
    request the pleasure of your company
    as they are united in marriage
    (etc.)
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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  • knottie69fc6038b39dc651knottie69fc6038b39dc651 member
    First Comment
    There are a lot of emotions involved in weddings, and wedding invitation etiquette is at the top of the list. So the more you can boil things down to simple emotionless guidelines, the better. But even more important, if your grandma is operating by a wedding invitation etiquette playbook you’ve deemed irrelevant, you might end up hurting her feelings when you really want to thrill and delight her. And we can’t have that, can we?
     
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Welcome to The Knot.  Please check the dates before commenting on a post.  This thread is almost a year old, and the OP is long gone.  It is considered rude to resurrect a zombie thread like this one.  If you want to ask a question, do feel free to start a new thread.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    @CMGragain, this thread was perhaps a month old, not a year old. Please do a better job of checking dates before you accuse a new forum member of rudeness because they posted on a thread which was still open.
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Jen4948 said:
    @CMGragain, this thread was perhaps a month old, not a year old. Please do a better job of checking dates before you accuse a new forum member of rudeness because they posted on a thread which was still open.
    My apologies!  My eyesight has really deteriorated.  My bad!
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    knottie69fc6038b39dc651 said:
    There are a lot of emotions involved in weddings, and wedding invitation etiquette is at the top of the list. So the more you can boil things down to simple emotionless guidelines, the better. But even more important, if your grandma is operating by a wedding invitation etiquette playbook you’ve deemed irrelevant, you might end up hurting her feelings when you really want to thrill and delight her. And we can’t have that, can we?
    I agree with that sentiment.

    Your FILs may believe they are hosting, since they are paying for the catering, especially if they are helping with planning the menu and other things. If your parents are helping with the planning, but not contributing $$, they still may be counted as hosts. You need to determine who is hosting before you order invitations.
                       
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