Wedding Woes

Baby update

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Re: Baby update

  • I figured I should do a thread about this, but wasn't sure how to intro it - and then I mentioned it on E as background to a relevant post, so I'll explain briefly here.

    Babyflan #2 was born on Jan 2. Everything was fine at our 39w appointment 5 days prior. I went into normal labor, and went into the hospital after about 4 hrs. I was 7 cm at triage so they sent me upstairs, and upstairs they had to do a scalp electrode to find a heartbeat, which was low. So they sent me in for an emergency C-section. Essentially, she had a cord accident, which according to the neonatologist is only this bad of an outcome in every 5000-10000 births. They couldn't keep her HR or respiration up, and she lived for about an hour.

    I don't know if it happened so fast that anything could have been done if we went in earlier or not. Probably something, but there's no way we could have known and there's nothing to be done about that now. I don't think there's really any blame to be laid with anyone, us or the doctors, which makes it feel super futile in some ways but also helps in other ways. The hardest part so far has been with DD - seeing her process what we're telling her about the sibling she was so excited for has been devastating.
    I’m so very sorry to read that this happened to you and your family. Heartbreaking. 

    As as much as your mind must be racing to figure out the why, do not under any circumstances go down the “what if” road. No one can ever know for sure what other pathways would reveal. 

    Take time to to grieve and be with your family. I hope you have lots of people to help support you and your family. 

    Hugs from across the internet. 
  • I am so, so sorry for your loss. I agree with @ernursej - try not to let yourself get caught up in what-ifs. You have enough to deal with right now. 

    Please take good care of yourself during this difficult time. *hugs*
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  • I’m so sorry for your loss, I will be thinking of you and your family. 
  • WinstonsGirlWinstonsGirl The Cold North
    Ninth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
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    I'm so sad to hear this Flan.  Lots of love to you and your family while you grieve
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  • edited January 26
    Oh girl. I am so, so sorry for your loss. You and your family will be in my thoughts. Sending you creepy internet hugs. I know of a great loss community forum if you find yourself looking for somewhere online to connect to. Please let yourself grieve in whichever way you need. And, if you want, please share your baby’s name with us. She won’t be forgotten <3
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    sparklepants41MairePoppyOliveOilsMom
  • @flantastic I'm so sorry.     

    I attended the funeral of a child who passed during childbirth.  I still remember that the priest mentioned that their child was now a saint watching over her family and I think it brought the parents some peace.

    I'll keep your family in my prayers.   I hope you all are able to continue to heal
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
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    Flan, I’m so very sorry for your loss. My heart is hurting for you. 

  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
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    Oh my, I am so very sorry for your loss.  So, so sorry.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • Flan, I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm sending you lots of hugs.
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  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten Detroit, MI
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    @flantastic I'm so deeply sorry.  Margaret is a truly beautiful name and I'm glad you were able to get her baptized and find some peace in that.

    Take care of yourself the best you can and allow yourself to feel whatever you're feeling in the moment.  We're here whenever you need us.  (hugs)
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