Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Woes
Wedding Woes
New Discussion
Options

Don't expect co-worker to be your hall monitor

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
in Wedding Woes
Dear Prudence, 

I’m a twentysomething woman in my first real job, and I have a crush on a co-worker. I know it’s a bad idea—we work together, and he just started seeing another woman. I’m happy for him, but I feel like I’m still obviously displaying an interest in him. I laugh at his jokes, we always eat lunch together, and conversation just flows with us. I don’t want to become an office joke or seem like I’m fawning over him. I know it can hurt a woman’s career more than a man’s to have an office romance; I don’t want that getting around if I were to change jobs in the future. I confided about this to another friend I work with, and to my surprise she said she had no idea I was interested in him. I asked her to let me know if I was ever being embarrassingly flirtatious. Is there anything else I can do to keep me from becoming the office joke until I can crush this crush?

—Office Crush
Report Reply to Post

Re: Don't expect co-worker to be your hall monitor

  • Options
    levioosalevioosa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    She didn’t have an idea before, but she sure does now. Way to shoot yourself in the foot, LW. 


    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    ShesSoColdShesSoCold mod
    First Answer First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited February 2018
    southernbelle0915 said:
    "I feel like I’m still obviously displaying an interest in him."

    I get that LW is green to the professional scene, but ugh! If you want to be taken seriously at work, do your job and stop crush gossiping to your other co-workers. FFS.


    Exactly. Be friendly and whatever with this guy as normal (OMG laughing at jokes! How obviously flirty!) and move on. NBD.

    Edited because my "joke" was bad.

    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
    Report Reply
  • Options
    charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Stop telling your co-workers you a have a crush on other co-workers? 

    Look, it will likely pass. Keep things professional, limit the personal chat and stick to office conversations, You don't have to stop working with him or hanging out, but maybe branch out a bit and invite some other people to lunch as well. 
    Report Reply
  • Options
    mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    charlotte989875 said:
    Stop telling your co-workers you a have a crush on other co-workers? 

    This.  So. Much. This. 

    If you want to be seen as 'professional', you don't fucking tell a co-worker about this stuff and ask them to 'watch out' for you.  NEWSFLASH, this co-worker will only be as loyal as their own self-interest will allow.  No one is going to stick their neck out for you over unprofessional behavior on your behalf. 
    Report Reply
  • Options
    short+sassyshort+sassy member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    In addition to the whole weird "I don't want my coworkers to know I'm crushing, so I told one."  I'd also recommend the LW really cut back on the lunches together.  At least until her romantic feelings for him have moved on.  I don't even think she needs to eliminate them, but spending less social time with him for now will help her get over it faster. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards