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This LW tingles my bad spidey senses.

Dear Prudence,

I broke up with someone a year ago. After we broke up, she unfriended me on social media, never responded to my birthday message, and stopped spending time with mutual friends lest she end up around me. Recently I found out that she is looking for new work opportunities. A friend of mine works in the same sector and has a job opening that would be perfect for her. She is extremely qualified, and I think she would enjoy this role. Should I reach out and let her know I can refer her? Given that she seems to want to cut me out of her life completely, I’m not sure if she would take this in good spirit or think I’m trying to force a conversation on her. What should I do?

—Want A Reference?

Re: This LW tingles my bad spidey senses.

  • levioosa said:
    Leave her alone. 

    Yep. LW might have good intentions (might) but she doesn't want to talk to you. Leave her alone.
    Both. Of. These.
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  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited March 8
    How did he find out she was looking for new work opportunities if she has taken steps to cut him out of her life? 
    THIS!!!!!  If she didn't want contact, then why is LW still keeping tabs on her?!  This. IS. Creepy.

    I feel like LW wrote this to sound like it could be a man or a woman, but this is some 'Nice Guy' bullshit.  STOP IT LW!
  • How did he find out she was looking for new work opportunities if she has taken steps to cut him out of her life? 
    This is where I am. If it weren’t so stalkerish that he knows she’s looking for work, I’d say “sure why not...she can always not respond or turn it down.” But yea, LW sounds like a stalker. 

  • I ran a little bit into this with an ex.  I tried to maintain a friendship.  Nothing overwhelming or stalkerish, lol.  But occasional "how have you been doing?" e-mails.

    He always replied back, but usually with only a few short sentences.

    He was a graphic designer and I came across a gig where a professional contact was looking for someone to help her design a logo.  And not a "favor", this was paid work.

    I certainly didn't send his contact info to her, but I did send him an e-mail with a "hey I came across this and thought you might be interested" and copied and pasted the e-mail she'd sent, which also had her contact info.

    He replies back with a few questions and I reiterated that I was just passing along a possible gig for him and I didn't know any more about it than what was in the e-mail.  I suggested he contact her.

    He replied back something like, "I really don't have time for this.  Your friend needs to find somebody else to help her."  That was the whole message.

    Wow, okay!  Bite my hand off because I let you know about an opportunity to make a little easy cash from home!  I replied back that it was NBD if he wasn't interested, I had just wanted to let him know about the opportunity.

    And that was the last communication we ever had.  Because I certainly wasn't going to "bother" him again! 

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • The ex-girlfriend has made extremely clear that she doesn't want contact with this guy. This reeks of trying to pry his way back into her life. He needs to respect the distance she's keeping from him and leave her alone.
  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    I think your hero days are over, LW. Don't get involved. 

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